Are We Kind Because Of Convenience...Or Are We Kind Out Of Kindness?

Question

If we are truly kind...then would our kindness always have the appearance of kindness?


Inspired by Herodotus

Whoever thought kindness could be so perverse...
Since this is not my question...
I will attempt to answer it...
Okay...

As Homo sapiens, I do not think it is possible for us to be motivated...independent of the ego...

This is not necessarily a bad thing...
But rather a function necessary for survival...

That said, I believe certain people are more evolved than others...
While some expect reciprocation for their kindness...
Others are satisfied just knowing that they did a kind deed...

In the end both parties are yearning for love and acceptance...
However, the latter has a stronger sense of self...
And does not rely on external cues to confirm this belief...

S/he has a deep seated conviction of being a good person...
And when in doubt...
S/he does something kind...to reestablish this belief...

So are we kind out of kindness?
No, we are kind because we have egos...
And we want to see ourselves as kind people...

Because when we see ourselves as kind...
We believe we are worthy...

Answer 1

We are kind because it is in our nature to be kind, and to seek acceptance and love.

Answer 2

I see the major modern debate on this topic taking place in the arena of evolutionary psychology.

I think we are kind because of the "reciprocal altruism" mentioned by a previous answerer. However that doesn't mean we don't feel genuinely impelled to be kind.

For instance, there's a theory that if you have very little and I have a lot, I can gain a lot by giving you some of what I don't need. I won't miss what I give you very much, but you will feel greatly indebted to me. That means that if you turn that very little into a great deal, I can expect that you will feel kindly disposed towards me and you will reward me with more than I gave you.

Now, the sticky part of this is that if evolution has done it's job, I won't need to think explicitly about this imbalance before I act charitably. I'll just see someone suffering who I can help and I will feel an uncomplicated emotional urge to do so. There are certainly people who will scheme and plot so that their every act of seeming kindness is actually executed only for their own benefit. However, plenty of people also benefit in the long-term, whether they know it or not, by doing kind things simply because they want to.

Answer 3

We are mostly kind out of habit in our supposedly civilized society. You could even make a biological case for it. It's what Ethologists (animal behavior specialists) call "reciprocal altruism." Translation: One good turn deserves another. One hand washes the other. I would say that generally it is due to convenience and the desire to contribute to the overall quality of life. In animal societies, cheaters who do not conform to these kind of norms are punished. So, most people want to appear at least to be kind.
Kindness out of a true desire to be nice to people and patient with them is a lot rarer, but it does exist. A refreshing change from what is going on most of the time.

Answer 4

"Because of convenience" is not being kind. It is for self benefit.
True kindness is felt sincerely.
Appearance is irrelevant, although it will be perceived as kind by those who recognize true kindness.
Any societal motivation is also faux kindness.

Edit: cuharrison--You are correct; this question was not asked in the context of evolutionary psychology, which has as many holes in it as the disparity of hypotheses. "Reciprocal altruism" exists, but not ABSOLUTELY. In your last sentence, you express an assumption not appropriate to the question, or to philosophy.

Answer 5

I feel 'Mercy' would be a better & right term in the place of 'Kindness'.

"Mercy is a kind or forgiving attitude toward somebody that you have power to harm or right to punish."

Shakespeare in his play, 'Merchant of Venice' has given the full play of 'The Quality of Mercy' through Portia's Court Room Oration.

None, I think, can better Shakespeare in bringing out the Quality of Mercy in all its splendor.

'Mercy is spontaneous like drops of rain from the sky; it makes both the giver & the receiver happy; it is most powerful in the hands of the most powerful; it is better than a crown on king's head; it is a divine attribute. When mercy seasons justice, the earthly power becomes Divine Justice', so runs the immortal verse.

So mercy or kindness is not born out of petty, selfish convenience but it springs from the Natural NOBLE Quality of our Hearts.

For the full version of Portia's Speech visit:

http://www.angelos.demon.co.uk/clare/literature/portia.html
..

Answer 6

The word truly is my sticking point.

Truly to me assumes that someone or some ones sees you are kind.

Perhaps the word genuinely was what we are looking for.

I don't know.

A genuinely kind person is kind whether or not others see him/her that way.

In a Kantian reality a genuinely kind person is kind for kindness sake and not be cause it is convenient.

A truly kind person just appears that way.

Is it convenience?

It could be, but it could be ignorance, or dumb luck that makes one appear kind even if that appearance is not genuine.

So my answer is no but possibly yes, unless you are genuinely kind and appear that way too.

Note: you can be genuinely kind and appear otherwise. Just thought that needed to be stated here.

Answer 7

Kindness is a human feature! it is purely human to be naturally kind. Yes, basically someone well intended, has the appearance of kindness. Otherwise it would be pervert falsehood

Answer 8

It is not an easy question, is it? I suppose the question is, do we act out of love or just as a reaction to our own need to be loved?

If we act only out of our own needs, can we recognize when an other is acting in a purely giving way?

I do not have my answers to these questions.

Answer 9

We are kind out of convenience because in return we get kindness... hopefully. I pretend to be nice to people so they won't badger me.

Answer 10

i think we are kind out of kindness.