What To Do About A Stubborn Husband?

Question

My husband and I are currently in a long distant marriage although he plans on moving to where I am in a few months. He is not a bad guy, in fact there is more things that he does that is nice than bad. He is not perfect and neither am I. Here it the problem. I need advice on how to dea with his being so stubborn. Example, most times when him and I get into some type of disagreement he ends up hanging up on me, then refuses to take my calls. This hurts me as it feels as if I am being discarded and avoided. It has been 7 days now and he has not called me and I refuse to call him as I am getting tired of giving into his stubborness. Serious answeres please as I want advice on how to deal with this problem. I can add that one other time when this has happened I did not give in and call him and he eventually broke down and called me. Is this the right thing to do. I do not want to risk calling him on the chance that he will not answer or even return my call. Please advice.

Thank you all for your answers to date. I want to add more details. I cannot call him because I have tried this in the past and things have not changed. Him and I have talked about this before and he has agreed to work on us communicating better. We have tried, and now it is back to the same thing. I wanted to ask if I should just not call him as I now feel I am only responding to this selfish behavior. If I continue to call him he will not feel consequences for him always hanging up on me. It has been a week now and he has not called me. Now I wonder if he will just never call me. This is making me so upset, I do not want to call because I am so tired of his phone going to voice mail, or even yet I leave a message and he does not return it. How can such a wonderful man in all other ways be so stubborn in this way? My real question is How to deal with a stubborn man, how to get this behavior to stop so that he does not do it again? Please, serious answers only.

Answer 1

I think you need to educate yourself on emotional abuse. You say that you feel HURT, DISCARDED and AVOIDED .. then you defend him by saying there is more 'nice than bad' in him.

But he needs to treat you with respect and stop this silly manipulative and abusive crap. If there's more to it than just the hanging up of phone calls, you need to think seriously about this 'relationship'.

Answer 2

Sounds like he's not the only stubborn party in this marriage.

You are going about it the wrong way though.

You are answering power-play with power-play. That means one party has to win and the other has to lose.

Simple example: He comes home late to show his independence.
Wife warms up dinner and is basically the sweetest thing in the universe. She gives him NONE of the hard time he was expecting.
So when he asks her if she's not angry that he's home late, she says:"Of course not! If you are home late it must mean you have important work to finish!"

Can you imagine that man ever being late on purpose again?

Use your charm. You're a woman, not a man. Don't play his game, be a woman.

Answer 3

When dealing with stubborn Menes you have to let them be the child that they are. Every time you give in to his stubbornness he going to feel like he has some kind of control over you. See i have a stubborn husband myself, we are born in the same month and our birthdays a couple days apart. I learned if i kept giving in to my husband demands, I'm the one who felt guilt and he felt victorious over me. I started not paying attention to his childness, I take 2 Tylenol pm and called it a day, if we are beefing on the phone I don't entertain his craziness by hanging up the phone and refuse his calls, until get his act together and can talk like a adult. So my advice is don't call him let him be a man and call you. Let him know that you are human and you deserve respect no matter what y'all go through.

Answer 4

I dont know how ur marriage is suriving the distance,,,, How long do u think that can last that way, being married is hard enough, being apart just adds to it,,,, I was in similar situtation with my husband, he travel and was gone for mon thr friday sometimes for weeks at a time,,, we have 3 boys and I was losing my mind, we agured more and more, then I notice with the arguments he wasnt giving it AT ALL any more it always had to be his way,,,, I was dealing with alot of SH**t already (to make a long story shot) he was cheating on me and looked for reasons to agrue so we didnt have to talk to each other,,,,

All I'm saying is just becareful and make sure things are in order with him,,,, marriages barley work when two people live under one roof,,, it's a day to day process,,, how can you work on something from many miles aways,,,,,

Just for the record I made my husband quite his traveling job,,, and things are still rocky but for my kids I'm still with him....

Answer 5

ok he has a communication problem. its not just being stubborn, he doesnt know how to effectively commuicate to you.
when you speak to him, use an assuring possitive tone, let him know that your his best friend and if he doesnt talk to you about how he feels then how will you know let him know your guys re going in a circle, both you guys should talk to e other with respect and communicate and listen to understand e other listen without judging listen to find a solution to whatever the disagreement is about! you assure himhe is totalling not resolving anything by hanging up on you. regardless if your yelling at him and that be the cause of him hangingup he is the man he should advise you that yelling and hanging up on eother is high school stuff and it has got to stop.
Marriage is about trust, communication loyalty, friendship teamwork, and SEX and your tired. just both of u should apalogize and learn ways to prevent aggressive aguments like this.
i dnt have time to use spell chk so im sorry if this is hard to read!

Answer 6

First of all you'll need to talk and you need to tell hi that is is rude for a grown man to hang up on his wife. If there are problems he needs to be the man in the relationship and talk it over with you. Or tell you he needs some time and in about an hour or so..call you back and you and he work things out. Don't get comfortable hanging up on each other it is unhealthy for the relationship. TALK WITH HIM WHEN HE CALLS BACK YOUAND HE NEED HELP

Answer 7

ur husband has communication problem. i think since u are married to him , u cant just walk away. So when he hangs up,dont call him for 2-3 days. then call him and dont talk directly on the topic which led to fight. and if he is difficult to convince then arguments are just waste of words so convey ur assertiveness through action. tell him ur point of view and if he starts arguing change topic to something more interesting and light.i think u have to train him like a child. before u start living with him :-)

Answer 8

My suggestion would be to call one last time and tell him (by voicemail if necessary) how you feel and let him know that his attitude is putting a strain on an already difficult relationship. He needs to understand how you feel when he acts that way and the potential consequences of his behavior.

Answer 9

I know it hurts. But what counts more--the fact that you're the bigger person who will get hung up on or the fact that he might hurt you? Sometimes you have to let him be right and just let yourself be "wrong" (even though you're so not!) so that he can save face. My husband is the same way. He needs to be right, so I acknowledge that. In my 20s, I needed to be right too so I would fight with him about anything and everything. We were both miserable like that. Now I will bow down when I know he's not going to. He can change at times. I just have to be willing to give in to him when he needs it.

Answer 10

Don't call him. That would be like crawling back to the one who should be apologizing. It was his behavior "Hanging up on you" that caused the problem so it is HIM who should take action and fix it. If you call him he will not ever learn that there are consequences to his actions.