Please see my previous question from ~30 min ago if you need to....
I am not insecure with how my husband feels about me. My issue is basically that other women rave about my husband and men don't (as much) about me. Maybe this is no big deal.
If my husband was going to leave me for someone younger prettier etc he would have done it long ago, as he has had plenty of women who fit that bill. I have no worries that he belongs to anyone other than me. Seeing him with another woman don't bother me at all, as him seeing me with another man doesn't bother him.
Anyway - I understand the hostility many of you feel. I used to feel the same way. Oh and by the way I tend to be the driver with this lifestyle - my husband is just enjoying the ride. We've put it on hold before and he's never complained.
Maybe this helps? Or maybe you'll just repeat the same answers back at me. Maybe I just need to not worry about my performance and just go back to having a great time??
2007-10-15 08:46:17 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry here's the previous question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Avld73qzb.MxW1pjJIuEYuzsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071015114937AAheHQX
2007-10-15 08:47:02 · update #1
Valerie I don't know what you are so mad about. I had no doubts about your answer - I understand you don't like what my husband and I do and that's fine. I won't report you - I have no reason to. But I haven't been mean to you and I don't think I deserve something like that.
and NO I am not looking on here for women for my husband. There is ZERO need for that...
2007-10-15 08:55:05 · update #2
just get back in the game and enjoy yourself.
2007-10-15 08:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Your original question would seem to be a very likely problem for those in your lifestyle. Now I'm not opposed to that lifestyle, and have no issues with those that practice it. But there are bound to be issues like this that could only happen in that type of lifestyle.
My answer would be to enjoy what you're doing. If you can't deal with the fact that he is so desired you really only have one option. So you're left with quitting the lifestyle or simply enjoying it without worrying about who's "better".
2007-10-15 16:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by Bull in a china shop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know the reason my wife and I got into the lifestyle was that we wanted a select few to experience the awesome sex we have together. It seems that your hubby has become a bit more popular than you were hoping for. You could always get some new friends or limit your appearance at this particular club.
If you are having a good time and you make everyone happy, then don't worry about it. I know guys don't say holy crap she is awesome and tell their friends cause we want to keep you all to ourselves (we're selfish like that). Women tend to be more open about that and you both are benefiting from it. If you are feeling insecure or a bit left out you need to discuss it with your hubby.
2007-10-15 16:00:50 · answer #3 · answered by M M 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not a swinger, but I have a theory.
To quote Clerks, "women are just a warm, moist hole: enter, thrust, repeat."
That's not to say I agree entirely with that statement, but it has a deeper meaning really. Men get off on sex much easier than women. Isn't always women who are in search of a lover who can satisfy their needs? We are always the ones faking the orgasms, right? So, maybe it's not that you aren't as good as your husband. I'm sure the other men you are with are enjoying your company immensely. However, men are simple, and they probably enjoy all the other women just as much. In contrast, if word gets around that a man is consistently satisfying women in your "circle," well, who wouldn't want to take a stab at that?!
That's just my theory though. I don't know if that makes you feel any better. Good luck.
2007-10-15 15:59:55 · answer #4 · answered by Dolyn 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
When you open up your marriage to others...you are opening your marriage up to trouble....How do I know this? Because my first husband and I got involved with swinging...now we are divorced...thought we were secure enough in our relationship...that nothing could break us up......if you are so secure with your relationship with your husband...why do you even care that other men don't rave about your like women do with your husband? This is only the beginning to your troubles.....Been there and done it!! Guess what...I WAS THE "DRIVER" of the relationship...It was his idea that we get involved into swinging....and I eventually went along....then I was the one having all the fun....and he began to feel neglected and the idea of swinging was not so fun anymore....Funny how that happens don't ya think?
2007-10-15 16:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Even though Valerie can give some great and funny answers, I have to agree that her judgment in this case was a little harsh. Its probably more just her opinion of the lifestyle so don't take it personally.
2007-10-15 16:05:11 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
IAnd now your question is should you worry about your performance? Since you are performing sex, what do you think? yourself.
I have a good suggestion for you, go to a swingers website, they have forums and places you can ask people who are in your situation or have had similiar problems.
Your first question posted as an unusual problem. Get a grip. This is not an unusual problem in your lifesyle?
If you do not receive the answer you seek here,
then seek it elsewhere and layoff community members.
2007-10-15 16:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Sweetheart, pay no heed to the pinings of jealous people. The fact of the matter is that you have a deep meaningful relationship that isn't connected to sex. Your committment between you and your husband is probably greater than most of those on here because the question of fidelity doesn't apply. You may not forsake all others with your bodies, but in love you are forsaking all others with your hearts. Don't sweat the small stuff or the small people!
2007-10-15 16:06:46 · answer #8 · answered by No one 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
I think if you're concerned about this, you aren't having fun any more. Maybe you should step out of that life style for a while, until you're feeling more secure about things. Reconnect with just you and your hubby, until your comfortable with everything.
2007-10-15 16:02:09 · answer #9 · answered by Kathy 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to Valerie X, she is a bitter, cold, sexless woman that has no life and loves to torment people that are being "real" about their lifestyes and what they enjoy and likes to get on her high horse though I remember many questions complaining about her life.
As I said before, there are books and vidoes out there that could help.
Oh, I just thought of something! If your husband has had sex with a woman that is "raved" about by the other men, why don't you watch them (or watch the woman and her husband) and see what she does that is so "great".
2007-10-15 15:57:47 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋
The only swingers I have ever seen are middle aged flabby and gross....no doubt your husband, or you for that matter, are any different.
2007-10-15 15:52:47 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋