Do you really believe in marriage before carriage?

Question

what i mean is that you get married before having a child?
what are the importants of doing so first?
what would you do?

n e other concerns and answers greatly appreciated! thanks

thanks for all your answers i am enjoying them!! keep bringing them !!♥♥

Answer 1

No...marriage isn't for everyone. For example, I want to have a child before I'm 30, regardless of whether or not I'm married. I'm almost positive that me and my boyfriend will still be together when the time gets here, but we probably won't be married. As such, I know people who just can't deal with the thought of marriage, but have kids, love their kids unconditionally and get along with the other parent, they just can't be with that person. Its important to me to love the guy I have a kid with, but we don't necessarily have to be a couple.

Answer 2

The importance of getting married first is that you're showing your commitment to each other before the world. It should not even be a question if you both have that commitment. If you don't have that commitment, what in the world are you thinking about having a baby for? I'm sorry but that's the most selfish thing I could every think of to have a baby without having that sacred lifetime agreement to be faithful to each other and to be together forever. Isn't that what marriage is about?

As others have pointed out, the world is changing, and it's really sad, but if you let yourself go right along with it and don't stand for something good, you'll fall for anything. Good and evil still exist - don't try to shove that aside. Something is wrong, or something is right. How can you lead a happy life? Choose the right. It's quite simple.

Answer 3

Yes; it's important for your marriage to be on solid ground before bringing a child into the relationship. Aside from being important for you as a couple, your child will benefit from being in a stable relationship. Yes, either one of you can walk at any time, married or not; but I think that people who commit to each other in marriage, for the right reasons (which do not include because they're expecting a child) are more willing to tough things out.

I agree with the respondent who said to travel, etc., before you have children-- or even marry, for that matter. Make sure you are emotionally and financially self-sufficient before you marry and have kids.

Answer 4

i believe in marriage before carriage...

Having a baby takes so much patience,care,love, money,commitment, and just when you think you have all those things you need mroe ..like diapers,health insurance,formula,diapers, medication and daycare.

I am a christian married woman..Ii know this is a singles topic,but I wanted to answer. We have been married for 5 yrs and together for 8. That first year..was hard living with one new person so I can't imagine adding a baby to that.

We cannot have children. We won't be able to adopt.either.

I'd wait and if you want to be around babies do what we do..babysit,voulnteer in our church nursery, go help in an afterschool program. Sometimes those things can give you the choice of being around kids and if you want to go with your friends


Whatever you decide to do... Spend sometime with ALL
types of couples...married,single...and then the real will set in.
I did not mean to be too preachy and I hope I wasn't.


Good luck,Girl

Answer 5

I read how some said that, "everyone is dong it", but that means nothing. If everyone where eating poisen, would you eat it too? Just because, "everyone" is doing something, is not good enough reason to do so too. Also, just because it "happens all the time" does not mean it is good either. People murder other people, "all the time" does that mean it is a good thing, or it is an OK thing to do? Of course not!!

Listen, it is difficult at best to raise a single child, let alone multiple children. Taking the difficulty out of the equation, children deserve a solid family life, with a mother and a father who are devoted to them and their wellbeing. I know how fractured our society is because of children being raised in single parent households. At times it is unavoidable, such as a death of one parent, but if at all possible try to provide the best home enviroment possible for your child.

Studies have shown that children in single family homes achieve at lower degrees than those raised in two parent homes. It is the facts, simple as that. I am not saying a single parent is not a good parent, only that children do better with two parents in the home. I am also not saying that all two parent households are good homes, because some two parent households are extremely dysfunctional. However, overall, children in two parent households perform better and achieve at higher levels than those in single parent households.

Marriage is the long term committment to a relationship. Marriages actually do better at surviving longer term than do couples who simply live together. Couples who live together do not show a overall higher or even equal committment to a long term relationship. This is somewhat due to the idea it is easier to leave a live in arrangement than a marriage. When you simply "live with" somebody, there isn't any financial hit to be concerned with, it is much easier to walk out than when one has to take into consideration splitting the marital assets. However, the emotional aspect is also significantly greater in staying together because the couple has made an emotional committment to each other in front of witnesses and often in front of whichever God they believe in. Without this emotional aspect in the relationship, it is easier to walk away.

Yes, our divorce rate is fifty percent. However, that also means fifty percent of our married couples stay together for a life time. The breakup percentage for non married couples is actually higher, around 65%. However, these studies are not as widely repeated as those of marriage, so I don't rely on them as strongly as I do the other. I do believe in the numbers because I see so many people who are unmarried and have had the father and sometimes the mother, walk out on the "family".

In conclusion, I fully support marriage before children. I strongly believe it is in the best interest of the child(ren).

Good luck and have a nice day.

Answer 6

I did through two failed marriages, the last one ending partly because I was un able to conceive and was told I never would.
Then 4 months newly divorced the guy I was seeing knocked me up. SURPRISE! DOCTORS ARE SOMETIMES WRONG!!!! We are just friends who care deeply for one another, but have no plans to ever get married. We will just raise our child together but as individuals. Can't say that we won't eventually share our lives together or actually get married. But right now we don't have plans to do either.
He visits, he pays, and I raise. May not be everyone's ideal situation and at times it may bother me a little. But all in all, everyone is happy and our child will always know that she has a mommy and a daddy who both care deeply for her and each other. I rather her know a happy single/individual family than an unhappy married one.

Answer 7

I thnk this theory comes from "the old days" when it was not respectable to have kids before you were legally supposed to even sleep together. Those days are gone...and the divorce rate is so high now, I strongly believe "taking the car for a test drive" is best. My only concern about this is what the child will have to endure growing up with unmarried parents. You need to think about what the child has to face also and if its common where you live and raise your child.

Answer 8

Now a days it really doesn't matter. You could think you are marrying the man of your dreams and then have a child by them and boom they have changed into Hyde. Nobody can rely on a man now a days. Us women have to make sure we can support ourselves and a child or two before we make any decisions. I think you should get the know the person well enough to know if they are worth spending the rest of your life with or not because no matter what the circumstances are the person is going to be in your life until you die.

Answer 9

As long as it is a serious relationship then it really doesn't matter. With divorce rates so high it's just as common to get divorced as it is to break up a relationship there are no guarantees in life.

My relationship couldn't be anymore serious even if we were married the only reason we aren't yet is the cost we just feel it is a lot of money for one day. We have a son that is nearly two and planning our 2nd.

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