Can parents affect a kids Career and goals ?

Question

I was forced to go to school and become an engineer. I didn't get time to develop my own skills or decide what I wanted to do . My mom wanted to become an engineer. Now that i think backwards ,i realize the amount of pressure i was under. I was scrutinized and my self esteem was shot down because my own parents didn't believe in me.

Do you think this could be a reason why i don't have any motivation to find a job in my field of engineering(elec and comp ) ?? actually i dn't mind working as an engineer for a while before starting to pursue my own DREAMS. but i can't even " do that " :(

P.S: i started working at this call center nd they pay 14 dollars per hour ..Is this good enough for me ?

Answer 1

While growing up, parents do seem to think they have the blueprints to our lives...and the pressure cooker is on to meet their expectations. We do it to please them while we live under their roof.
Even our schools test (psychological) our kids today, and judge our kids by the "collar" their parents wear, and categorize the trail they think kids should travel on. They too, throw our kids into a mold through their own observations. White collar parents equals white collar kids and the same with blue collar parent, must mean blue collar kids. Then they say that "statistics" are statistics instead of calling the outcomes for our kids, human manipulations. This is behind the scenes stuff our schools don't want to 'bore' the parents with.
Your kid is categorized by a system of psychological testing and your child's success is based on these tests and not really abilities. If your kid has a bad day the day of testing, too bad. The map is laid.
Off my soap box and back to your question.
Can you 'change' the plan for your life that your parents mastered early on for you?
Yes! It will take will power, time, and some frustrations, but if you really want to follow a different journey than the one your parents pre-destined for you...as Nike would say - JUST DO IT!
I did. My parents wanted me to get straight A's and all the while saying I'd never amount to much.
After leaving their abusive upbringing, I decided they were wrong and I was going to prove it to them. I graduated college not once but twice, I've risen to management, I've been a president of a business communications club 3 times, and Vice President of Education, a fashion model, a published author, a recognized community volunteer, bring life and happiness to those around me...and I am still developing personally and setting and reaching more and more goals in life than most people.
While under their roof I had no friends...today I have hundreds.
You can do anything you set your own journey to do. It will take work and belief in yourself especially when things get tough...remember, you are going against the grain others set for you.
Get up and keep on keeping on. Don't start over when you fall, just get back up and continue from where you fell off and success is for you!
Today you can't blame them for your mistakes or failures, because today is your life, not theirs. If they don't like your choice for your life...TOUGH! This is your life. They don't have to like it. As long as you are doing something that is positive for society and in this life, you are a winner.
You only become a loser/failure when you live for others, or live the way others expect you to live , or when you become a threat to society.
If you want to be an artist, or entertainer, or whatever adds to making this world a better place for all...do it.
The choices you make today, you are accountable for. You can't blame your parents for...
They gave you their map for your life while you were growing up. If you don't want it...throw it away.
Pick up a new and improved map that can out-do their expectations for you.
I'm a parent who gave guidance to my son as he was growing up. I introduced options, but never told him what he should be. I taught him how to make choices for himself, and I taught him that with all choices there is consequences; either good or bad. Good choices, good consequences. Bad choices, bad consequences. When all was said and done, I wanted my son to have a better life than I did so I gave him the tools that would guide him to having a better life.
He's grown now. He finished college quicker than I did...he chose to go to college on his own and did better than I did in college. He has a much better paying job than I ever did, and he chose his career on his own. Which goes to prove...hand them the tools and guidelines...let them show you what they learned. I am so proud of my son today. He is his own man, husband and father. More successful than I have ever been and is only 27 years old.
If the schools had started categorizing kids when he was growing up, they would have placed him in the "blue collar" educational development classes...and he would have never reached the mountain tops he reaches today.
Heads up to parents and schools.
Give them guidance and always words that will uplift and encourage and motivate...let them choose their own journeys. You'll be amazed how much higher they will climb in life!
Good parents want only the best...and we don't really know what that is until they show us.

Answer 2

Parents sometimes put a lot of pressure on their children to become certain things. I don't think that they mean for it to have a negative affect but sometimes there is one. Some may push their children towards careers that they wish that they had pursued. Its called living through your children. Other parents may have had it rough and are only trying to make sure that their children have a better life then they had. If you like the job at the call center then I think you should stick with it but I would suggest taking a career test to see what your strengths and weaknesses are. They aren't always 100% full proof but if will give you a better idea of options. The most important thing about a career is to make it one you are happy with. Money is important but sanity is even more important. Good luck and God bless

Answer 3

Of course parents can affect their child's career choices for the good and the bad. A parent can with pressure make a child choice something that the parent wanted to be or they can go with the child's own interests and help them find a career in that field. My middle daughter has drawn since she was able to pick up a crayon or pencil so I always made sure that she had things and paper to draw with, I would encourage her to draw for school publications and when she applied to college encouraged her to go with her strengths and go into art. Now she's in school going for her degree in early childhood education so that she can be an art teacher. For years my younger daughter who loves to cook talked about going to the Culinary Institute of America to become a pastry chef and that's what I encouraged her to do I would let her cook and bake as much as she wanted so that she could have the practice, She's changed her mind and now wants to be come a psychologist, so I encourage her to interact with my older brother who's a psychologist, so that he can tell her what it's really like. IF she changes her mind yet again I will encourage her in that endeavor also. It's her life not mine, she has to do what makes her happy. It's the only way that the kids will fulfill their own destiny not mine. I would say that there may be other ways that you can use your engineering degree that will make you happier, I know that it's hard to go against what Our parents want even when we're adults but it is important to make ourselves happy, we're the ones who have to live the life not our parents. Only you can decide that you deserve to be happy in the way that you make you living, So it's up to you to make the changes that you need in order to be happy.

Answer 4

Parents can definately have an affect (good 'n bad) with kids. I always told my kids (28, 25 and 18), that I didn't care what they did just as long as they had an HONEST job (even ditch digging) and they were happy. I taught them to manage a checkbook, keep a good credit rating, pay their bills and things like that are tough in today's world. I took cues from them when they were young, but they made different decisions all through life, they stumbled and fell, but wound up doing what they wanted. My son Ken is such a talented artist, I mean amazing, and we told him this for years. He wouldn't find this out until sadly he spent 2 years in prison, that drive to go to school to refine it (I don't recommend the prison thing). Find what you love to do and find a way to make money at it.! That's what I learned in my Small Business Management class!

Answer 5

14 dollars an hour?? you can make that straight out of high school. have you thought about going back to school and pursuing something that you are more passionate about??
Do you have a family of your own yet?? When you do I think that you will try to find something more lucritive to support your family even if it is not something you are truly passionate about . My husband is not in his dream job, but it pays well and it enables me to be a stay at home mom with our children and to him, that is what matters- not pursing his dream job anymore.
Good luck.

Answer 6

children turn to their parents for the ultimate source of feedback and congratulations. A parent can easily tear a child's dreams crashing down around them, or they could motivate their children to achieve their dreams. if the parent is against it, but the child really wants to do this and it is realistic, the child should make sure he/she is being heard out. parents shouldn't force their children to do anything. if you dont want to be an engineer, get the money to study for what you want to do and go for it! it may be hard, but it is right! I believe you can do it!!!

Answer 7

I have an engineering degree and found that it wasn't right for me. I found that you can use that degree in different ways. I did capitol equipment sales that used my engineering knowledge but allowed me to be a salesman. Now I am an account manager for a head hunting company that places engineers. My knowledge of the engineering field comes in very handy.

Answer 8

Costwise, it's up to you. Yes, parents can, but they will be resented later if they do. Find what you like and see if there's any way to become that. Have some fun with it. I know what you mean about pushing tho. Don't worry too much about it. They only want what's best for you in their eyes.

Answer 9

Yes parents affect kids career and goals. they want you to do what they want and if you dont then they are mad and disappointed. ANyhow 14 dollars a hour is great to me but not if it makes you unhappy. There is no reason for you not to find what your dreams are. You live for yourself not for others. It is your life not anyone elses.

Answer 10

You shouldn't be working at a job you don't like just because it pays well. People who work at jobs they hate suffer a lot more stress and they are more likely to take it out on those around them as well as turning to alcohol and drugs. I know many people will disagree but it's not worth it.