The art showed Mount Si’s native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs, as well as some of the mountain’s wildlife like coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons.
It is for a college paper. Thank you
2007-10-15 06:51:19 · 20 answers · asked by T Lapp 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
The artwork showed Mount Si's native plants, including trilliums and vine maple shrubs, as well as its native wildlife, exemplified by coyotes, cougars and peregrine falcons.
2007-10-15 08:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by Dear Carlos 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invert and simplify for a better flow, something like:
Mount Si's native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs, as well as wildlife like coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons were shown in the art.
WK
2007-10-15 14:05:48 · answer #2 · answered by olin1963 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't particularly good English as is. The structure is awkward.
Try.........".The artwork featured plants found on Mount Si such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs, and also some of the native wildlife including coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons."
2007-10-15 14:05:46 · answer #3 · answered by fiddlesticks9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mount Si's native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs, are shown in the art, as are the coyotes, cougars and peregrine falcons that represent the mountain's wildlife.
2007-10-15 13:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. At the very least you would need a coma after 'wildlife'. But it hardly sounds collegiate. I would say something like, "Mount Si's trilliums, vine maple shrubs and other native plants were portrayed in the art peice, along with some of the mountain's wildlife, like coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons". Just a suggestion- good luck :)
2007-10-15 13:58:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mae 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The painting conveys Mount Si’s native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs. It also captures some of the wildlife well known to this mountain region such as the peregrine falcon, the cougar and the coyote.
"painting or art work" instead of art
conveys instead of showed
Rearanged the last paragraph a little.
The painting ..conveys.. Mount Si’s native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs.....(also changed the last paragraph)......... It also captures some of the wildlife well known to this mountain region such as the peregrine falcon, the cougar and the coyote.
2007-10-15 13:53:36 · answer #6 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The [painting/sketch/print] depicted the native plants of Mount Si, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs, and representative wildlife including coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons.
(It just sounds a little more "collegiate" this way.)
2007-10-15 13:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should use "like" in the sentence. "such as" is fine.
The art shows Mount Si's native plants and the mountains wildlife. These include trilliums, vine maple shrubs, coyotes, cougars, and pregrine falcons.
2007-10-15 13:55:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
semi-colon - inline thought change =
The art showed Mount Si’s native plants, such as trilliums and vine maple shrubs; as well as some of the mountain’s wildlife like coyotes, cougars, and peregrine falcons.
2007-10-15 13:54:57 · answer #9 · answered by MrOrph 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Pretty sure you need a comma between "wildlife" and "like". Same concept as your comma before "such as".
2007-10-15 13:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by vegas35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋