Why doesn't he spend more time with me?

Question

He thinks that just because we have two children and have been together for three years we edon't need to spend time together

Answer 1

There could be many reasons. But, if you are asking that question on here then there is an obvious issue of lack of communication between the two of you. You are married and should be best friends. You need to sit down together and let him know how you feel. Tell him you need to spend time with him. Maybe he will open up to you. Good luck.

Answer 2

It's that kind of attitude that will doom a marriage or force the other to seek affairs.
All marriages require some alone time ( together) to touch base, to show affection, admiration and love. If anything having children requires more attention to the marriage or it will suffer eventually. He sounds like he's somewhat self-centered and not yet matured.
He needs a reality check, Three years together and kids will not keep a marriage together for long. Perhaps you should remind him that for there to be family, everyone should have they're needs met, even yours.

Answer 3

He does not give you much time, This seems to be a fact. But may be it is your presumption that he does not want to give you more time because you have now t two children. May be your family needs more financial support now as now family is bigger. After marriage when you have children, time for romance is reduced. The relationship of a married couple does not depend on romance only but other factors take over it. If you become more supportive to your husband and try to know why he does not give you much time, you can live peacefully. But if your husband has any extra marital relationship then it is another thing.

Answer 4

Often, people have these stereotypical ideas as to what marriage means. Whether they derive from sitcoms, or from our parents examples, often they need to be reassessed.

Relationships need time to regenerate in order to keep healthy and strong. Otherwise, they become wisps of the past...

Children are challenging and take impulses away, even though they are the greatest gift we could receive....

Sometimes men see us as mothers, and they stop seeing us as the vibrant females that first attracted them so strongly...

Make a date night - at least every other week, if not every week. It can be inexpensive, getting the kids down early and lighting candles and slow dancing, or you could swap sitting duties with other parents and go out and share an appetizer and soda and then go for a walk. Whatever you choose, you are investing in your future.

He is blessed to have a devoted wife and friend.

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Hmmm this all just depends. Do you have a life outside of your marriage where you can go out with your friends and have fun? Are you dependent on your husband for everything and he feels overwhelmed because he feels he needs to entertain you? I say start going out with your friends and keep yourself busy then he will be wondering why you do not want to spend time with him. Is he going out with his friends and staying out late? If so he might be cheating and wanting to be around you less due to he feels very guilty. To answer your question YES a married couple should do things together. It is very important for the two of you to go on date night at least once a month by yourselves. Have someone you trust watch the kids and have the kids spend the night so it is just the two of you without distractions. Good luck.

Answer 6

I'm sorry it's like that for you. Be careful how you approach it. You should make sure you have a life too but do it for you, because it makes you a happy and complete person. Being happy and complete means you're a happier person with your family. This is good for you, it is good for them.

I believe it's better to sit down and have a heart to heart with each other instead of trying this and trying that hoping that they'll notice. That feels more like you're playing games than just being "real". It's ok to say you're unhappy. It's ok to say you want to spend for more time together. But, it's also ok to make sure you're not expecting him to make you happy. He just can't do that. It's hard enough to make ourselves happy.

Find a way to strike a balance, a way to have you both out and about being healthy people. Give yourselves permission to each have a life and then come together to have time for the two of you. Every couple is different but if they're going to stay together, they have to find what works for them.

Talk to him, listen to him, accept him. I hope he can do the same for you.....take care...

Answer 7

Marriages take alot of effort, especially when you have kids. Some people take the time and realize that they can't let themselves get caught up in everything and that they must put time into their spouse. Some spouse just don't have the will power to put in the extra energy. Talk to him about it or plan things that he can't pass up to get the ball rolling. This sounds mean but maybe you just picked a poor spouse.

Answer 8

I know exactly what your saying. I'm going through the same situation even though my son is grown.. Maybe you could go away for a couple of days by yourself or with friends and leave him to take care of the children. And see how he acts when you come back. Just a suggestion.

Answer 9

I don't care how many years you are with someone, you should be spending time eith them no matter what, no excuses. Lame...Sorry, I hope things get better.

Answer 10

He is doing exactly what he wants to do. Not spend time with you. He is cold and self-centered.