My bf broke up with me after 4 years b/c he was suddenly unhappy and I took the break up badly. I also asked him back but he told me to not have hope, he wants to be single, and told me to find another man.
I haven't contacted him since and I just want to know if he might one day call back. In a way, I keep blaming myself that i drove him away when i kept pestering him to come back during those weeks after we broke up. I should've stopped contacting him the minute we broke, that way he may actually have time to clear his thoughts, I guess I kept wanting to know the final decision that it just made him seal the deal. I feel like it's all my fault. HAVE I LOST MY PRIDE OR DIGNITY BY ASKING HIM TO RECONSIDER? He probably feels like he has "won". I want to know if other people's ex's called back or wanted them back. For me, if he calls back, I will not pick up. Has anyone experienced something similar whose ex said the exact same thing but end up calling or coming back?
2007-10-15 05:24:54 · 19 answers · asked by Svetlana Z 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on. He dumped you and isn't coming back.
And I doubt he's even thinking about you.
2007-10-15 05:29:33 · answer #1 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here are the things you need to consider:
1. Why did we breakup, and what has changed since? If you broke up because you one or both of you has ran out of love, than ask yourself why do you want to get back together? If a person doesn't love you anymore, the best thing for both of you is to let go.
2. If there is still love, than was is something in your, or your ex's behaviour that caused the break up? Can you identify what it was? Can you change or accept your ex for who they are?
3. After you answer these questions for yourself, sit down and write your resolutions. It's important that SOMETHING will change when you get back together, or you WILL breakup again after a few weeks.
After you did all that, it's time to arrange a meeting.
This is an important part of the how to get your ex back process. Don't do too much phone calls or emails. These are not effective in getting back with your ex. A face to face meeting is.
What if she/he won't see you? Here's how to deal with it.
OK, so you get her or him to meet you. When you do, it's important that you find out the following details:
1. Does he or she still love you? again, if there is no feeling left, I recommend both of you move on. Life is too short. On the other hand, if love is still there you owe it to yourself to make the effort.
2. Is he or she willing to make the effort, change their habits, accept you for who you are? If so than you are on the right path.
2007-10-15 05:28:23 · answer #2 · answered by exoticdoll1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. You haven't lost your pride or dignity.
I have seen them call back (other people) but who knows what went on "behind the scenes."
He just took you for granted. it sounds like you were really nice to him-basically, a nice person all the way around, and he took you for granted.For your next relationship, instead of being the one evaluated(as we women are taught is natural to do-without consciously knowing it)be the one who evaluates. That is the way it is supposed to be anyway. Did you know that we are the only "animals" that the women try to get noticed by the men-in all other life on this planet-The FEMALE accepts or rejects. Have a great day!
2007-10-15 05:38:58 · answer #3 · answered by R.Stafford 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually going through the same thing you are going through right now but with different circumstances of course. We have two children together and we broke up in Jan. I let him take my son and we ended up going to court because he wanted custody but instead we got joint custody and nothing of our daughter. well after the court thing we ended up getting back together well it turned out i was pregnant with someone else whom i was with before and i told him about it and he broke up a month after i informed him telling me he couldn't deal with it anymore but i found out the reason he broke up with me was to be with someone else now why he couldn't tell me is beyond me. Well i was so lost because i loved him and didn't want to lose him but i just acted like it didn't bother me and that is what drove him nuts but to this day i won't take him back although he asked me a couple of times i told him no he was inconsiderate of my feelings so why should i even consider his? all the advise i can really give you is move one and he will try to come back to you because four years is alot of time to experience alot of good things with someone even if you didn't have children together. good luck and don't chase him because men enjoy that sort of thing.
2007-10-15 05:33:07 · answer #4 · answered by moringurl20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to know all the details in another person's life but...I would suggest that you will not get him back by asking.
The only way you are likely to get him back is to go out, find your own life and figure out what makes you happy. I am 99% certain that the moment you realise that you don't need him anymore, he will come back begging for you to come back.
Good luck.
L
2007-10-15 05:28:58 · answer #5 · answered by lozatron 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For both parties a break up of 4yrs is difficult, however you have established yourself as one of the "walking wounded" and that is the least diserable in all eyes. Your completely right to unengage completely, and it sounds like your brain knows what to do here-----and your heart has to catch up! We've all been there hon. I just want you to know your cool, you get it, and you'll be ok. Please don't have to pick up your heart off the ground with this crumb again! Rooting for U!
2007-10-15 05:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by kim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello this hasn't happened to me before but i would like to answer it anyway you had deep feelings for him and he broke your heart but you didn't want that so you tryed your best to get him back theres no lost pride or dignity in that so don't feel bad besides in truth its he who lost something great not you
2007-10-15 05:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by lancealottthedark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my ex and I broke up, it was pretty much mutual. He started calling after a few months and he would be crying and stuff telling me that he messed up, he loved me, and so on. I told him what's done is done. He still does it to this day, and I laugh at him, he's married with a child.
2007-10-15 05:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by xxcallme_smileyxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I almost took the same route your boyfriend did and had I broken up, I would have never contacted my ex again. He's right in that you should find someone else.
2007-10-15 05:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by Andre 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very common as you really dont understand and blame yourself, sadly this happens all the time. pick yourself up and move on taking him back would not solve the original cause of the breakup and it would only happen again
2007-10-15 05:28:52 · answer #10 · answered by thelma_layton 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, it's not a game. people call it a game, but it's not. if you truly want him back, then why did you write that you wouldn't take his call? the best thing to do is find another bf. then get on with your life.
2007-10-15 05:30:27 · answer #11 · answered by Kevin G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋