What would you do? Continue pregnancy or abort?

Question

My wife and I just found out she is about 10-12 weeks pregnant, however the baby is not in her uterus it is in her abdominal cavity. Apparently the placenta is attached to vital organs. The Dr said there is no chance she could carry the baby full term, about 30% to carry long enough that the baby may survive with help from NICU, and 70% chance my wife could die trying to carry the baby. Her liver and kidney could fail. We have 4 other children between 1 and 12. She thinks abortion is wrong regardless(I always thought so too). I now think we should end this pregnancy before it ends my wifes life and takes my childrens mother from them. She thinks she got pregnant for a reason(she had a tubal after our last child was born) and every child has the right to be born. She won't even really talk to me about it any more. She also hasn't talked to any family members. What would you do? Any suggestions on how to get my wife to see my point or am I wrong and not considering her. HELP

Answer 1

I would have to say I agree with your wife. even a small chance is still a chance and everyone deserves a chance at life. She probably feels like no one else is thinking on behalf of her child so she will. I would research this condition and find the best doctors evaluate every scenario before I could jump to the conclusion to abort the baby. After all has been done than you both can make an educated decision. I would worry about her mental state if ending the pregnancy is the ultimate decision. She is going to have a lot of pain grief guilt and anger that will need to be worked through.
Be her rock she is going to need your strength and love now more then ever.

Answer 2

This is a very hard decision regardless of what your views on abortion may be. I would explain to her that it is not a 'viable' fetus as it is not in the womb and has little chance of survival. Tell her she has 4 healthy children she needs to be thinking about, and that by delaying the inevitable she is placing her life in danger. Doesn't she want to be around to raise the kids she already has? Gotta pull the Mommy card dh, only way to go here I'm afraid.

My condolences on your loss, the pain and stress from this WILL pass eventually. In the meantime, try a lot of active listening, even if you don't agree with her. Remember how her hormones were with the other pregnancies? This time is no different, even if the fetus is not in the womb, her hormones are still going to 'act' pregnant. Her feelings are in a pressure cooker, and you don't want to push the wrong way.

Strongly urge her to have extensive discussions with her doctor regarding this. The sooner she comes to terms with this, the better for the whole family.

Answer 3

there is only a 30% chance that she would be able to carry it long enough that it *MAY* survive with help from the NICU.
there is only a 30% chance that SHE will survive. and IF she does, the baby MIGHT.
there is a 70% chance that she will die to leave her 4 kids without a mother, AND that baby will die.

logically, the pregnancy should be terminated.
chances are, the baby will not be born and her other 4 kids will become motherless.
it's a hard decision, but it's really for the best.
sacrifice the one (which is already tenuous) for the many (her life & the 4 children having a mother).

Answer 4

I think this is called, or could turn into, a stone baby...Her body will try to protect itself and build up a store of calcium around the baby..It is a great possibility that the baby will not survive anyway.. I am very, very pro-life, but in the case of a tubal, you must remove the tube, thus, the secondary effect is the baby goes as well.. As you know...

I would say watch it and see where it goes..There are people who can carry until the baby is just, just old enough to survive outside..Give God a chance, and see what happens...Sometimes, if you just ask for an answer either way, youll get it in no uncertain terms..Remember, your wife is dealing with preggo hormones, and her motherly instincts are in full swing..What you and she decide, you will carry for the rest of your lives..You must both be willing to do that...So, no one on here can answer that for you..Good luck...

Answer 5

I am 31 weeks and I found out that my cousin is pregnant too. The bad thing is when they checked her for cervical cancer it came up positive. She has two choices, to abort so they can treat her or to carry and run the risk that she will die after the baby is born. Her choice- carry the baby. God has a purpose for everything. If i were in your wife's position I would too carry the child as long as possible. My prayers are with you that what ever reason she is pregnant, That the outcome be positive.

Answer 6

I would pray about it. That's a hard decision but a 70% chance that your wife could die! you guys have 4 other children to consider & god forbid but if anything happens to your wife you will have all five of your children to raise alone. I would give my life for a child as well but this something you guys are really going to list the pro's and con's about.
On the positive side there's a 30% she could go on to deliver a healthy baby. You guys are in my prayers.

Answer 7

My first pregnancy, which we had waited 5 years for, was an ectopic pregnancy. By the time they found it my tube had ruptured, I was bleeding internally and in shock, so they performed emergency surgery to remove the tube and the baby. If that baby had been placed where there was a chance of it surviving, even a 30% chance, I would never have agreed to surgery. I am still haunted by the fact of removing the pregnancy, it really hurts me even though I was literally dying- there was no chance of either of us surviving. Regardless of that I still feel as though I took a life I had no right to take.

This is a very hard situation. Ultimately it is her decision, if she has heard your side and still wants to continue the pregnancy, then that is her right and your job is to support her. I will pray for your family.

Answer 8

Well if the pregnancy could potentially kill her then she should get an abortion. But there are women who have babies grow in their stomach and the kids were carried to full term and turned out fine and the moms didn't die. What is more important to you? The baby or the life of your wife?

Answer 9

try and support her, let her talk, and listen to everything she has to say.. ask her what her negative and positive thoughts are. I Am 100% against abortion.. I say if you get pregnant you have to give the baby a chance at living.. even if YOU don't want it, there are other people who do.. but this is a very different circumstance.. You have to think it over and try to talk a LOT. I'm sure you already have, but ask your wife if you listen to everything she says, if she'll sit and take the time to listen to your points of it.. Good Luck with this..

Answer 10

Youre in a tough spot but seeing as you already have 4 children other children she could be putting her life in danger and leaving 4 children without a mother. Hopefully everything goes well for you. Yes it's true that everything happens for a reason but if the reason makes her die, then she's taking her chances dontcha think? Good luck and may god bless you.