What would you do? Continue pregnancy or abort?

Question

My wife and I just found out she is about 10-12 weeks pregnant, however the baby is not in her uterus it is in her abdominal cavity. Apparently the placenta is attached to vital organs. The Dr said there is no chance she could carry the baby full term, about 30% to carry long enough that the baby may survive with help from NICU, and 70% chance my wife could die trying to carry the baby. Her liver and kidney could fail. We have 4 other children between 1 and 12. She thinks abortion is wrong regardless(I always thought so too). I now think we should end this pregnancy before it ends my wifes life and takes my childrens mother from them. She thinks she got pregnant for a reason(she had a tubal after our last child was born) and every child has the right to be born. She won't even really talk to me about it any more. She also hasn't talked to any family members. What would you do? Any suggestions on how to get my wife to see my point or am I wrong and not considering her. HELP

Answer 1

Wait a second.
you say you just found out and you jump straight to abortion.
You should at least research your options weigh every scenario get more test done find specialists that deal with this type of issues. I doubt this is the first pregnancy ever that is this way.get second opinions.
I think once you get more info then your wife will be more open to discuss all options with you. I would suggest that you help her find as much info as possible support her and love her. The decision is still hers to make and I understand you are scared to loose her but the way you feel about her she feels about the baby. In your heart she is top priority, but to her like most moms her child is more important than herself.
She also is probably secure in the fact that you are an awesome father and her older children would be well cared for. I know my hubby is a fantastic father and would raise my children well if I died.
Try to see her side too. She wants more info before she makes her decision. Can you blame her?

Answer 2

Concidering how dangerous it is to carry this baby full term and how great the chance is that you will lose this baby anyway, I would seriously consider to abort this baby. If the 2 of you dicide to keep it the chance that the whole family will get hurt is just too big. There's so little change that this will end well. The change that you lose this baby is big. The chance that you lose your wife is big. The chance that your family has to grief over 2 deaths (baby and wife) is big. Discuss with your wife how her death would affect your children. Tell her you don't want to raise them alone. You say your wife thinks she's pregnant for a reason. Well maybe the reason in this pregnancy is even though you really want it to be born, sometimes you just have put aside your feelings(that its wrong to abort) to protect those who are dependent on you. If you abort you will protect your other children from a sudden death of their mother. I understand that she wants to give this child a chance. after all, a mom is supposed to protect her children. but in this case it seems like no matter what, the children will get hurt. Its either the discision whether it will be your children which you already have or the unborn child. This is a horrible situation so I wish you all the best!

Answer 3

I don't think it's right to sacrifice the life of the mother to have a 30% chance of survival, when she already has 4 other healthy children. It's not fair to her living children. I'm sorry the doors to communication are closed, but with any luck, fate will decide for itself how the pregnancy will go. Maybe the 'reason' she got pregnant was to test her willingness to make sacrifices for the lives of her other children. I don't know though, that's a tough one. All I can say is, I know what I would do.

Answer 4

I think your wife at least needs to revisit her decision. She will most likely die, therefore leaving her other four children motherless. It sounds like she may be refusing to visit the situation, perhaps she's "in denial." I don't mean to be hard, but you--and most particularly the rest of the children--deserve better than this from her.

A clergyperson, and/or a qualified therapist, should be called in to help you both. This is a horrible decision, and it sounds like something must be done very soon. As her husband, you do have the right to talk about it, and she ought to consider your view, and not shut you out. It sounds like a second opinion is definitely in order, too.

I'm so sorry for you and your family.

Answer 5

I would not abort. I understand that is an incredibly difficult situation, but killing your unborn child is not a solution. The doctors could be wrong too. Don't take their percentages, etc. as fact. I had a friend that was told her baby would be a downs baby and the dr. even encouraged her to abort - her baby was born several months later, perfectly healthy in every way. Drs. can not be absolutely certain. Also, look into the negatives of abortion - even for your wife. They don't talk about it much but the consequences, physically and emotionally, that your wife would have to deal with are quite extreme. I will pray for you and your wife and family. For the health of your unborn child and for your wifes health.

Answer 6

I am very suprised that your wife is unwilling to abort the baby as she has a great risk of dying. I think there are a couple of things that you should consider about a NICU baby. One is that some premies are developmentally delayed or mentally retarded. Unless you are ready to be without a wife and have a developmentally delayed baby, I think that you should really encourage her to end this pregnancy. She should talk to her doctor in more depth about what is going on in he body. I am against abortion but there is one exception in my mind, when the mother's life is endanger.

Answer 7

I had one of those before, but it was in the tube. Same scenario. I aborted it, when both woman and fetus health is at stake the answer should be apparent. I will pray for you and your wife. Explain to her that your other kids need their mommy. God will forgive her for it. Express to her that you two are partners in this and that you can't do it without her. Maybe you can both go see your minister and he could shed some light on it.

Answer 8

Well I would have the abortion, I would think about my 4 little children qho need a mother, and they need it for lomg time now. Of course things happen for a reason, but if this affects more your wove´s life, I would talk with her.

Think about your children, they need a mother, she has to make concience about their children they need her more than anything, in case your baby survived and your wife couldn´t make it, she would be leaving children without the care of a mom, which they need the most.
I would make the oldest of my children tak to her, she will feel touched by one of his childs words.
I wish you strenght with this situation.

Good luck! ;D

Answer 9

abort the baby. for your wife's sake. i know its hard to give it up but there is always a chance to conceive another child. you wouldn't want to have the baby without its mother would you?
Let her understand that she has to think about the other children too.
I hope she gets enlightened. i'll pray for you both.

Answer 10

Well abortion is not wrong,and this is the perfect situation to prove it. Is the fetus more important than yours life? Is the fetus more important then the other kids having a mom? It's not a baby yet and can't live outside the womb and sounds like It wouldn't live anyway.