i have just found out i am 4 to 5 weeks pregnant, i am over the moon with this news as i have wanted a baby for so long, my boyfriend however is not very happy about it and has suggested that i have a termination, i am strongly against abortions (unless in an severe situation) and would love to keep this baby. i have told him that i would like to keep he/she but he has said he has made his descision, i feel like i am stuck in the middle with my boyfriend one side and a baby on the other and i dont know what to do. does anyone have any suggestions?
2007-10-15 04:57:07 · 61 answers · asked by sarahchick24 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Definitely choose your baby over your boyfriend.
2007-10-15 04:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by czekoskwigel 5 · 12⤊ 2⤋
All I can say is that if you are happy about this and want the baby you will seriously seriously regret having an abortion. I never even wanted any kids. When I found out I was pregnant I almost had a heart attack. I knew I had to have an abortion. To my surprise I really didn't want to. I was enjoying what I was experiencing and I was crying constantly at the thought of terminating the pregnancy. I ignored all my emotions and thought about my future so I had the abortion. I was a depressed, weepy, useless mess for two months. My point is, I was this way when I didn't even want a child. How will you feel if you have this abortion and you really want that baby? You have to search yourself for the answer. I can only share with you my experience and hope that it will in some way help you with your decision. Good luck!
2007-10-15 05:04:08 · answer #2 · answered by Missy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, if you BOTH do not full heartedly agree on what to do, do NOT have an abortion. You have strong beliefs about abortion anyways so why would you even consider having an abortion if everything if FINE? Some guys have a hard time stepping up to the plate and taking responsibility. But with this, on one hand, you dont want to lose your b/f and the other you dont want to lose your child because of your b/f.... Here is a question. Does this give you any insight into how a marriage would be with this man? Is this a man that you would really want for the father of your child? Because I know I sure as hell couldnt stay with my husband if he told me to kill my baby... I dont think you have an abortion and I think you need consider getting out of your relationship with your b/f and finding someone that you have no doubt is a REAL man!
2007-10-15 05:12:58 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy to 1+triplets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I have a suggestion......choose your baby over the boyfriend. This just irritates me to no end. I had a boyfriend that decided he wanted me to get an abortion or give the baby up when I was already 7 months pregnant. I already had names picked out and sonogram pictures framed. I told him to hit the road. It was the best decision I have ever made.
I am all for pro-choice because woman has the right to decide what is best for them. Although I would never get an abortion, I still support women's rights. Your boyfriend does not have a choice. It is your body and you can have this baby and be a great mom without him. If you are ready for this child and are excited as you seem about the pregnancy....then do it. Do not base a decision as important as this on what your boyfriend says. Forget about him. I know it's hard.....but this is your body, your baby.....YOUR CHOICE!
2007-10-15 05:04:59 · answer #4 · answered by AshP 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Without getting into the whole argument of "How could you choose your boyfriend over your child" hoopla think of it this way. If you do decide to go against what you truly want and you have the abortion and then stay with your boyfriend and get married will you EVER be able to forget what he asked of you?
I would think that the strain of his demand that you terminate your pregnancy would eventually put ruin to any relationship you could have.
I would say have the baby. If he wants nothing to do with you or the child then seek financial support from the state, and move on...loving your baby and knowing that you made the right decision.
However you may find that you will have this baby, and eventually your boyfriend will discover the error of his snap judgment, and you two will have the life together that you want.
Your heart has already given you your answer. You want this baby. I think you will regret it FOREVER if you go through with the termination.
Good Luck.
2007-10-15 05:12:25 · answer #5 · answered by moonshadow418 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, boyfriends come and go and this one should go. He is making you feel like you are torn. And that is not cool. Abortion is a horrifying way to get rid of a baby. Why would he ever suggest something like this? He got you pregnant, he should be man enough to deal with the responsiblities. What he needs to do, is grow a brain, step up to the plate and support you and this baby. If he won't then it is time for you to terminate your relationship. You seriously don't want a man involved who doesn't want to be there in the first place. DO NOT TERMINATE your baby becasue you love your boyfriend. You have a human LIFE growing inside of you, a human LIFE that did not choose this or its parents. It is not the baby's fault that it has an immature father, who doesn't want it. The most important thing is that you want the baby, and that you are this baby's mother. Please, please do not do what he wants you to do. Sure you love him but he's telling you to get rid of the baby. Is that love? Is that committment? Is that taking responsibility for his actions and what he has done? NO! Keep the baby becasue you are already in love with it, you already know what you want to do. You don't need this man in your LIFE filling your head with crap.
2007-10-15 05:19:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can support the child, have it. Let him b**** and moan about it. When you give birth and he gets to hold the baby for the first time, see if his feelings change. Try researching pregnancy together and showing him how beautiful it is to become parents. If he is worried about money or about having to give up the fun things in live, reassure him that everything will be alright and that this happened for a reason. Tell him that you ARE going to have the baby, and that you want him to be the best daddy he can be. Let him come with you to doctors appointments so he can see his son or daughter on the ultrasound. When the baby kicks, let him feel it. It's normal for guys to flip out if they weren't expecting a baby. This has happened to some of my friends when they found out they were pregnant. Give him some time to warm up to the idea - he's probably terrified. Assuming he's a good guy and a good boyfriend, give him some time to get used to it. Research as much as you can together. Good luck and congratulations on your pregnancy!
2007-10-15 05:09:48 · answer #7 · answered by leigh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision that only you can make however i feel that if your bf is not up to even discussing the option of keeping this child that there may be other issues that he may "put his foot down" to as well. A decision like this is a very hard one however i think you should truly think about this and if you feel you could raise this child on your own, and you really want to carry out the pregnancy then go about it alone. There are many support groups out there should you chose to go about this on your own, who will help you with advice and counselling.
Having this child in a relationship where the father does not want him/her will only make it tough when the baby is born, not only for you but for your child as well.
Good luck!
2007-10-15 05:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by Evil Kitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an important decision and I believe like you do - that the baby should not be terminated. Now you have a decision to make. Keep the baby or give he/she up for adoption(one of the most giving and unselfish things a person can ever do) As for the boyfriend-kick him to the curb and find a real man, you will not be sorry!!!!!
2007-10-15 05:03:48 · answer #9 · answered by absent farmer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can support that child and love that child, then keep him and to hell with your boyfriend. It's your body, and if he can't accept the responsibilities of his actions, he's worthless. Let him know that you don't think that an abortion is the right choice for you, and that you're keeping the baby whether he likes it or not. If you can't support the child, then I'd suggest adoption, but don't abort if you can't handle the consequences of how it will make you feel.
2007-10-15 05:01:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your body, your choice. Having an abortion to please your partner is NEVER a good reason to have an abortion. There's been research on this - men who say "I'll leave you if you have this baby" usually end up leaving anyway even if you do have the abortion.
Be prepared to be a single parent, but hope for the best that maybe he's just temporarily freaked out at the prospect but that he might warm up to the idea down the road as the pregnancy progresses.
2007-10-15 05:00:59 · answer #11 · answered by Take A Test! 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋