My husband gets angry when I bring up a friend. For example I was going to take some of my old jeans to my friends' daughter she is about my size now and my husband was instantly angry. I could hear it in his voice. Then a day later he asked me if I wanted to go to a three day class with him, I would have went, but we are in the process of moving and I figured since we are trying to save money, if I did not need to be there I would just go to work. Again when I asked if I had to be there he said no, so I said probably not and the angre came out in his voice over the phone again. I do not know what to do to get to the root problem, if there is one or where to turn now. I do not want a divorce I want to stay married I love him, just needing some advice on what should be done to make our relationship run more smoothly.
2007-10-15 04:54:32 · 10 answers · asked by outgoing pincess 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok some of you were saying that I do not spend enough time with my husband. Let me shed more light on this subject, We both work monday-friday. I work 830-230 and he works 730-430 then we spend all evening together every night and all weekend as well.He never wants to do anything outside the house anymore and it seems like all we do is play on the computers at home all weekend long. I have expressed to him already that I love him and that I do want to be with him. I think that he is jealous but he claims he is not....
2007-10-15 05:21:01 · update #1
Sounds a bit like maybe he is fighting for control in your marriage! He may have developed an insecure attitude toward your relationship! Sometimes, if there is a strong insecurity issue at work some people have that insecurity spill over into their relationships.
I would suggest stting down and dealing with this issue, as soon as possible. Lay your cards, all of them on the table! Ask him to do the same. Remind him you are partners in this life experience ride you are on.
Do you discuss your daily challenges and dissapointments with him? Do it!
He needs to feel that ifhe's away, you'll miss him. He needs to know that his opinion is the first one you listen to! he needs to know that he is your best friend!!!! He is your most trusted confidant!!
You need the same from him, too!!!!
you both need to sit down and talk, seriously, about what is going on! Sooner or later, the culprit causing all this turmoil in your marriage and relationship with each other will raise its ugly head, and you two can deal with it once and for all!!!
2007-10-15 05:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Rawstuff 007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It almost sounds as if your husband is getting angry when you do things with your friend and then tell him you won't with him. Maybe he feels left out??
Is there anyway you can sit him down and tell him you sense something is not right and you have hopes you could ring some light to it so it can be worked on rather than create the distance you feel its doing. Tell him you love him and don't want a divorce and your afraid thats where its leading.
Tell him you'd like your relationship to run smoother so you need to talk about whats disprutping it.
2007-10-15 12:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by savahna5 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My question to you is, do you spend enough time doing things with your husband? maybe he is feeling left out. Talk to him, ask him if he is angry, why? Address his feelings, make time for him. It sounds like you're busy and need to do something inexpensive and fun together. Family, friends, and work need to be balanced to have a healthy relationship. Good Luck
added details: That is a lot of time to spend together, but if you are on the computers, that doesn't sound like it is together. Do you do things together other than this? Why is he jealous? Encourage him to get out of the house with you and do something you both enjoy. Even if it is just for a ride to view the scenery. A relationship needs more than just home and work. Don't give up your friends, encourage him to do things with his friend. Maybe then he will see friends add to the relationship instead of taking away from.
2007-10-15 12:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by Len 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's either suspicious of you, OR jealous of anyone else that has anything to do with you or both.
You need to sit him down and let him know you love him to death, but that you ENJOY friends, and everyone needs friends, and that's OK. He doesn't have to like it, but he has to understand that it's NOT just all about HIM. Sometimes people with serious jealousy problems get really angry for little or no reason. Don't let it get to you. The more you respond to it, the more he'll know he can "tug at your heart strings", and he will manipulate and control you as much as you LET him. Good luck on this one.
2007-10-15 11:59:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could find a time to ask your husband if he'd please sit down and listen... let him know you've noticed he seems frustrated and becomes easily annoyed... tell him you are there if he'd like to talk about it.
and then, let him know how you feel -- i feel _______ when you get angry with me out of the blue....
you could also tell him that you love him and want to be with him.
even if he doesn't respond right away, you will have made your feelings clear, and he might just come to you with an explanation.
if he doesn't, maybe suggest counseling for both of you.
2007-10-15 11:59:51 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you finding ur self more likely to do things for ur friends then for him or are you doing what ur friends wont and not spending time with him believe me he is worth spending time with as long as u r getting along but i no husbands get mad when u hang with ur friends to much because they think they are trying to get u with someone else especially if they dont like each other they will try to keep him mad
2007-10-15 12:02:10 · answer #6 · answered by sissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by any chance is this guy latino? most latino men think they own their women and that we should be at their side 24/7 waiting on them constantly! and when we want to hang with our girlfriends, all of a sudden were lisbians! give me a break!
2007-10-15 15:21:25 · answer #7 · answered by gurlynmgurl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned divorce but you never mentioned counseling. Why is that?
Seek help first. You both might understand how to communicate better.
2007-10-15 13:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him maybe there is more that is keeping him so frustrated and angering him easily maybe he is wanting more time with his honey with hte move and everything he is feeling out of place
2007-10-15 12:04:40 · answer #9 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey it's not your fault,..your husband is worth to live with you..you can find anyone happily you must be pretty and there is not lack of men out there for you...good luck.
2007-10-15 12:01:30 · answer #10 · answered by Blueshine R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋