Me and my partner have been together for 5 years but we had a split after 4 years. My partner and i were in very different places and wanted different things out of life. In that time my partner got into huge amounts of debt having the life he wanted. We promised to not share money as he owes alot more than me and we shared money before and it caused arguments. However i think we are both in the same place now and have the same dreams and goals. He currently budgets himself but every week he goes over, spends more than he can afford and forgets about bills he owes, basically he is terrible with money and always has been, the only difference is now he actually wants to get it right. im thinking to accept he is terible with money and go all in to take control of this and do this idea. We put all money in together and whatever is left we half....does this work and am i wrong to want to take charge, i just feel its the only way we can have a healthy future together.
2007-10-15 04:51:32 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you must take charge of your own financial life. i made the mistake of allowoing an irresponsible man that i loved access to my money. it left me devastated financially. i should not have - even though he kept promising that he would get it right, he never did. make him prove it first. tell him he has to be debt free for 5 years then....
if you take control, will he resent it? will that work for him? this is a serious problem and if you take over the money it is a big job that he cannot help with and it means he can't help with anything that requires a check etc. (like going to the grocery store) so it puts a lot more responsibility on you. is that ok with you?
2007-10-15 04:58:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on being with him forever, then his debts are gonna be your debts no matter how you look at it. You are bringing to lives together here, and you are gonna have to help get the debts outta they way and you midaswell start sooner than later cause its gonna happen anyways. Take control of the budget untill you guys get back on track. combine your incomes if you want, or just get him to give you control of the accounts you do have. Setting up a budget and following it is really really hard for most men and they need our help with it even if they dont like to admit it. He will thank you in the long run forsure.
2007-10-15 04:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by louie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I put all of our money into one account, then I pay all the bills out of it and tell him ok this is what is left to last us until next pay day. It has worked well for us since we both get direct deposit and the bills can go out automatically as well. Then we budget the rest of what is left. You may take charge, but only if your partner agrees with this, other wise it will make for an awkward conversation and lifestyle
2007-10-15 04:58:34 · answer #3 · answered by outgoing pincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't share, he is obviously very irresponsible with money and you don't want to lose the money you have because of his inabilities to control his spending. You should coach him and help him be more responsible if you want to help him. He needs to grow up and take care of his money and when he proves he can then maybe you can have a joint account. But from what you've explained he will just abuse your money as well as his and then you will both be in a rough spot.
2007-10-15 04:59:23 · answer #4 · answered by Buggy Jean 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is this, his investment interior the home is thirteen% and the stability is yours. You pay the loan in finished , yet he contains thirteen% of the coverage top classification on the domicile and pays thirteen% of all upkeep and upkeep that u mutually comply with do. this type he in basic terms has a thirteen% proportion interior the industry fee of the domicile if and whilst the relationship is dissolved. Then u ought to draw up a funds for the working expenses of the domicile,utilities,cleansing amenities, food and so forth and the two make contributions 50% right into a joint account. interior the progression of a shortfall, the two one in each of you're making this up with an equivalent contribution. you are able to then the two determine the thank you to a minimum of one after the different make investments and spend the stability of each of your earning which will stay your guy or woman investments. this type ought to the relationship harm up you get a industry fee on the domicile pay him thirteen% of that and the home is all yours or sell the domicile and supply him thirteen%. confident, you ought to have a binding settlement to guard yourselves in this regard.
2016-12-14 18:27:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bad idea good points but if he has proved that he sucks with money why would you give him the opportunity to spend more i would advise you to help him with his and teach him how to properly manage his moneys before i would venture into pooling your resources
2007-10-15 05:01:32 · answer #6 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know if i would do that if i were you. he might end up spending all your money. but its up to you not us.
2007-10-15 04:56:18 · answer #7 · answered by Exotic Pink 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt
2007-10-15 04:57:01 · answer #8 · answered by txladybug_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋