i am 9 week pregnant and he is lost? what to do?

Question

my boyfriend is 38 i am 27, we know each other 5 months as a whole and i moved in his appt 1 month ago and now i got that i am 9 weeks pregnant, when i told him he was fricked out and could not accept that, now things are much better, by talking we came to the point that i am going to keep the baby, i was ready to have it even if he would drop me, but still he is so afraid and always tells me about that, i am tired to support him and telling all will be well, with his negative attitude he put me in a position when i do not have any motivation to continue these talks again, when he starts these talks i feel pain in my abdomen, i do nto know what to do, i cry sometimes and feel alone, but i know for sure that i am not gonna make abortion, pls advice what i could do else to reasure him and free him from his black thougths and fears, he did not say to his family and says he is not ready for that, and says it was too fast and it was not in his plans... the baby...

Answer 1

This is why I personally don't believe in people living together....it is just playing house without the commitment. It is like having a roommate with benefits.....if he didn't want a child he should have made sure that it wouldn't happen so soon....condoms! Believe me 5 months is not long enough to know someone, especially to move in with them AND then top it off with having an unexpected & unplanned birth. That is why there should be a commitment in place before moving in......unfortunately there is nothing you can do to rid him of his thoughts and fears. I would start worrying about myself and not try to pretend this is all going to be wonderful. If you are 9 weeks pregnant and only moved in 1 month ago (4 weeks), did he know that you were pregnant before you moved in? You should have told him before moving in and not after.....if you are 27 and unmarried....why weren't you taking birth control of some kind? Getting pregnant is a poor solution to try and snag a guy!

Answer 2

First you need to see a doctor and make sure your baby is ok, stress can cause problems for babies.

Second, your boyfriend needs to man-up. Not trying to be insensitive, but he's 38 years old, he's known where babys come from for a long time now, and if he was this unready for a baby, he should have used some sort of protection to prevent conception in the first place.

There are first time father programs in pretty much every city, ask your OBGYN to recommend one for him, it may help. Maybe going to the OB with you would help him, too, he can ask questions and maybe that will do him some good. He also needs to understand thet you need to be able to lean on him at this point, because you are the one who's about to bring a life into the world. Other than that YOU can't do anything, he's the one that needs to grow up here, and if his parents couldn't help him all this time, there's nothing else left for you. He just has to suck it up and become a grown up now, because he's going to be a father now and you don't need two children to raise.

If he can't or won't do anything to help himself, maybe you should reconsider if this is the environment you want to bring a child into. Do you have family of friends you can turn to for support if you continue to not get any from him? You may both want to consider counseling, as well.

Answer 3

Sounds like your going through alot of trouble. All I know is that in my relationship, Iam the negative one. Iam worried about what my parents will do after they find out Im 5wks pregnant, but my hubby is so caring with me. He always has a way to calm me down. Hes great. Get some help from people who encourage you, not put you down. Your baby can feel when you cry.

Answer 4

Aren't you old enough not to get pregnant by accident?