I am 24 and most of my guy experience has been from going to clubs. I know I need to change that and maybe try elsewhere but it just seems so silly that weight can litterly hold you back in terms of the dating world.
I have a lot of qualities ppl like/ask for like great skin, st8 teeth, college educated, funny but the weight is the only thing I can think of holding me back.
My non educated, living pay check to pay check, friends with slim bodies never have to seek men because the men will always flock to them.
I am getting really distressed over this. I am afraid that once I lose weight 2 things will happen.
1. Men will like me more and I will become resentful.
2. Men will NOT like me more and I will feel ugly.
Please help me get over this fixation!
2007-10-15 04:47:50 · 10 answers · asked by Okay Hero 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I prev lost 100 pounds and can tell you... you will NOT be resentful. You'll be getting tons more attention from everyone, people will look you in the eyes and talk to you more, men will start holding doors for you again, you'll have loads more self esteem and rediscover how fun it can be to shop when you're not mortified by the sizes you have to wear... no, you will not be resentful because you'll be too busy feeling so great that you finally did something for yourself!
2007-10-15 04:58:40 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are asking other people to change how you think and feel? This is in itself just wrong. Meaning that you are smart and know that it is what you do or want or think you want or need to do and you can do it or not. Nobody else can help you. You need to get out of the bar scene is right, most the men there are drunks, after one thing or are as lost as you are. You will never be looked at like your skinny friends are...that is just a fact. Older women aren't looked at like younger ones are and women who dress conservatively don't get looked at like ones with it all out there do. So, we can't change that. You have the answer, go someplace else, find different friends, ones that are educated, have other things to do to improve the world and nopt just party all the time. You will have at least better more productive friends won't you? Try a group thing, maybe something to do with conservation, maybe Big Sister programs or a church group...look for something. Volunteer where there are others that believe in giving back, that means they at least have a different thought in their heads than just how a person looks. You know how you need to do it, you just need the kick in the pants to move on...forward and become a mature woman that a real mature giving man will see and want. Good luck. Look in the yellow pages or look up Americors...they have help with volunteerism.
2007-10-16 09:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by MISS-MARY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The men at clubs are losers.
Good for you for all the work you have already done on your body. Don't forget the you inside. She is not what you see in the mirror. Don't worry about men and their perception of you.
They aren't living your life. Do what you intend for yourself, alone. Hold onto your power. No one can make you feel anything unless you allow it.
There has got to be a special man who will appreciate the lovely woman you are. When you are ready, he will appear.
Be patient. Believe in yourself.
C. :)!!
2007-10-15 05:13:59 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most men at clubs are just out for a fling or ONS so they will not go for big-sized ladies like you. Fear not, you sound like a really good catch who do not have much exposure to members of the opposite sex other than clubbing. Enlarge your social circle and get to know more people from decent settings. This will help you find the right guys.
As forlosing weight, don't do it for others. Do it for yourself because you want to gget healthier, not to get more guys to flock to you. Be confident of who you are and your qualities.
2007-10-15 04:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lost-Hurt-Disappointed 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would go for the first option by far. I like girls that are kind of shy and modest. They seem to be a lot nicer (although some outgoing people can still be nice).
2016-05-22 18:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by kristen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have looked over your other ?'s and the problem isn't your weight or your looks. Many really fat and or ugly people have great relationships.
Your problem is that you are looking too hard and judging by your questions you may just be giving the impression to any man that is near you that you are hunting for a man. That makes any man run.
Stop looking, be with yourself for a while and I promise it will happen when it is supposed to happen!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-15 07:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by New England Babe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are over weight you better lose weight for your health.
Life is strange. The more polite, outgoing, and kind one is the more likely they will be treated poorly by some.
Good book "Three Faces of Love" by Dr. Paul Hauck PhD. “Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy” by Dr. David Burns M.D.
2007-10-15 06:11:14 · answer #7 · answered by gdc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. If you say you are really who you are - funny, smart, straight teeth, gone to college - no problem!
I suggest you do some healthy eating, if you really want to lose weight. This means you are also fit, and men will notice. Ignore what other people think. Just think what YOU want to do, and how YOU want to look.
Good Luck! x
2007-10-15 05:00:30 · answer #8 · answered by <3StarryEyed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many ways to get men to flock to you, but is that what you want or do you want a certain type of man. Your qualities should attract that kind of man eventually.
Women want one man to satisfy their every need. Men want every woman to satisfy their one need.
2007-10-15 05:03:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please stop making things so complicated, and decide whether you want to lose weight or not and follow that policy, whatever you decide--why do you want to make more of things than you really need to?
2007-10-15 15:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Paradigmshift 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋