Wat can i do to make my short story less cliché?

Question

it's about a girl who is running a marathon for her dad who died of cancer. I want it to be really inspirational but not too obvious so if anyone has any good ideas then please help. It's important school stuff. It can only take place over 24 hours though so i want it to be mainly before, during and after the race.

Answer 1

"so i want it to be mainly before, during and after the race"

Eh?? Make your mind up!

The best stories have an emotional core...

How about this, it is all set after the race, she is sat in the gutter, with her silver foil blanket wrapped around her, and her dad is sat next to her having a conversation. Have the dad not understanding "What on earth made you do that?" And have the daughter explain how hard it is to watch someone you love get taken away slowly by cancer, and how seeing that changes you. Have the girl saying, "I'd have thought you of all people would understand that" Then cut to a boyfriend or sibling walking up to the girl, who is sat by herself, new person says "Your Dad would be so proud" then end it with the girl either agreeing, so as not to bad mouth her dad's ignorance, or saying that her Dad would think she was daft.

Answer 2

Why not write it as an hourly diary, the nerves, build up, determination to finish it for the memory of her father, the race itself and the people she meets, (mad runners dressed up for charity etc) the exhaustion and maybe some funny bits too, then the satisfaction of having finished.
I know noone would actually write a diary whilst running a marathon but you have artistic licence and I think it could work.

Answer 3

How about this.... I ran the marathon in memory of my Dad. Do you know what I mean?

Answer 4

Put a big surprise in it, like she may have cancer herself.