Still a lil scared how can I tell my husband?

Question

I was raped on May 5 by my best friends boyfriend I hav'nt told my husband because at the time we were seperated we got back together on the May 8 then I found out I was pregnant on June 15 I had sex many times with my husband after I asked my Doctor she said it's my husbands but the guy who raped me is african-american what if at birth it's not my hubbys is there anyway I could be 100% sure it's my hubsbands

I did report him I sould have said that he is in jail serving two years and my best friend knows

Answer 1

I'm so sorry sweety. I know your mind must drive you nuts. I did the calculations and based on my theory. If you got pregnant May 5, 2007 as of Saturday October 20, 2007 you would be exactly 24 weeks. With this information get a fresh ultrasound. the technicians are great at their jobs. If you got an ultrasound that Monday October 22. And the tech said you were about 24 weeks and roughly 2 days. You can be assured it's probably your attackers baby. You should defiantly tell your husband, because if it is a possibility it's not his child. At least he'll know.

Answer 2

I hope you filed a police report because often times its hard for someone to believe that a woman was raped if she didn't take some action to make sure that the man who assaulted her was held accountable. I believe you...being raped must be a terrible thing and it will stay with you the rest of your life but the answer is never to just let it go because it will eat at you and the man who did it will see how easy it was to cause a woman that much pain and he won't hesitate to do it again...he got away with it the first time. You have to tell your husband and your best friend if you haven't...it won't be easy but you can't just hide it until the child is born and if it isn't husbands then come clean because it will look like a cover or lie. Be honest now and there are amnios and I keep reading about a cvs test that can determine paternity. I know the amnio carries a risk of miscarriage but thats a decision you have to make. Be honest and get the support you need. I'm sorry for what you went through and I hope that when you come clean that your husband, best friend, and the rest of your family can give you the support you'll need.

Answer 3

The only way to be 100% sure it's your hubby's would be either seeing it or a DNA test. They might be able to use amniosintisis to take a sample but it is a very risky procedure to the baby and they probably won't do it just to know who the father is. I'm sorry about you being raped but I really think that you should tell your husband what happened...no matter about the baby or not. If you really want to stay happy and healthy as a couple you should not hide it. Firstly because he should be there to help you though this and secondly if he finds out in the future (and it's not you who told him) it might be kind of hard to prove that you were "raped". I know that sounds bad but that does happen sometimes, especially since you were seperated at the time...he may think that you are just saying rape because you don't want him mad at you.

Answer 4

Aw Im sorry...I've been there and as uncomfortable as it maybe to tell someone its the road to healing. I would definitley tell your husband if I were you...and file a report with the police! You may just want to forget about it but this guy might do this to someone else and you'll feel even worse...Congratulations on the baby I hope this all works out well for you!

Answer 5

Girl, Just think how upset your husband will be if you don't tell him and the baby comes and it's another race. You know this is eating you up inside now. You cannot handle the stress of keeping this secret while pregnant. I can personally tell you, you will harm your baby's health by keeping it bottled up. I know, because I had cheated on my husband just before I got pregnant, and I didn't know whose baby it was. I kept it inside, and my child ended up being a thumbsucker and having other anxiety disorders that are stress-related.
Just think of the life growing inside your belly, and do the right thing.

Answer 6

the only way to be 100% sure is to have a DNA test done after the baby is born. as far as the rape goes, YOU SHOULD HAVE REPORTED IT WHEN IT FIRST HAPPENED. you should still report it BUT, since you have had sex since then, there is a chance that all the medical evdince is gone.there 4 you might not be able to put him in jail. i'm soooo sorry this happened to you BUT YOU DO NEED TO BE HONEST WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND TELL HIM EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED. good luck.

Answer 7

If you truly were raped and not getting even then why haven't you reported it ???
This sends up my red flag because of not trusting the love of your husband in this major life changing issue. And discussing it with him much sooner. If it is his baby and you discuss the rape this late in the game, my guess is he won't be very sympathic to your waiting 5 months to tell him. If your doctor is TRULY POSITIVE it is your husbands, NO MISTAKES, I would let sleeping dogs lie.
I tried to do a web search for DNA & Amniosynthesis on webMD and got nothing...so it's possible to not know who the father is until the baby is born. Or do another search until you find some answers. I know that the baby's blood can be drawn in the womb and tested for birthdefectsso why not test it in the womb for DNA ??? Costs I guess......????

Answer 8

You may be scared but you need to tell your husband what happened. If he really loves you, he will understand and be there for you. It could be your husband's but do you really want to wait until the baby is born to find out who's it is? I wouldn't. That would devastate your husband. Do you want to do that to him? Just be honest with him. Don't exaggerate or omit anything. Good luck. I hope that everything works out for you.

Answer 9

Please tell your husband! He needs to know. Not only that, but you need to report this guy! Imagine how many other people he will do this to if you do not report him! There is no way of telling who the father is until after the birth. I am so sorry that this has happened to you, but you have to do something about it before it is too late!

Answer 10

does your friend know about this? you need to be honest...no use in ruining you marriege because if you wait he's not going to believe you! Good Luck and i hope everything works out for you.

ps i just realized i didn't answer your qestion...you can find out before the baby is born but it is very dangerous to the baby it's better to wait until he/she is born and find out. your hubby may want to raise the baby as his own either way. he/she is a part of you