My bf broke up with me after 4 years b/c he was suddenly unhappy and I took the break up badly. I also asked him back but he told me to not have hope, he wants to be single, and told me to find another man.
I haven't contacted him since and I just want to know if he might one day call back. In a way, I keep blaming myself that i drove him away when i kept pestering him to come back during those weeks after we broke up. I should've stopped contacting him the minute we broke, that way he may actually have time to clear his thoughts, I guess I kept wanting to know the final decision that it just made him seal the deal. I feel like it's all my fault. HAVE I LOST MY PRIDE OR DIGNITY BY ASKING HIM TO RECONSIDER? I am moving on but I just want to know if other people's ex's called back or wanted them back. I know i need to move but my question is has anyone experienced something similar whose ex said the exact same thing but ended up coming back? Thanks
2007-10-15 04:16:55 · 12 answers · asked by GirlinTrouble 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not to sound conceited, but every single ex boyfriend of mine has come crawling back.... usually within 1 - 2 years later. A couple of my ex boyfriends tell me all the time that if they weren't so stupid back then (up to 6 years ago now!) that we would be together and married already! LOL.... It always seems that they do not come back until I am completely over them, then it's just too late....by the time they get their act together I've already moved on with my life.
I wasn't ready to move on from my last ex, but I did. We were together for over a year (and lived together), I was head over heels in love, and we talked about marriage all the time. Heck, after a couple weeks of dating he already had a dream of me in a wedding dress!! Then he walked one day when it got tough! He moved to a new city, wrote me every single day about how much he loved me, moved back to my city 5 months later, and we tried dating again.... Well things just were not the same at all. I couldn't trust or love him like I used to, he wasn't who I thought he was. He ended up moving to another city again and breaking it off. I said enough is enough, this guy obviously does not love me, I am moving on to bigger and better. And I did. And now he is writing me emails all the time telling me that I am the one, we are meant to be, etc..... too late now, I am a mommy to be with an amazing man who would never let me get away - would never risk that chance in a zillion years!
2007-10-15 04:35:51 · answer #1 · answered by Betty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had a similar situation a few years ago. He broke it off all of a sudden basically because he figured he was too young and wanted to 'experience the world.' I pestered him for a while then gave up on him. About 4 months later he slowly came crawling back. It was tough because I was beginning to get over it. He realized that what we had was pretty special and it is not easy to find others that are compatible. We took a long time talking things through and eventually had a different and deeper relationship than the first one.
Of course, every guy is different. It would probably be best to try to move on and if he comes back question him, and if not well sais la vie.
2007-10-15 04:29:08 · answer #2 · answered by Katie Lou Who 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only reason this man would come back is because he found the grass is not greener on the other side. If he had truly loved you, or still loved you, he would not have left and wanted a single life. Further, if he loved you he would not be able to consider you with another man let alone tell you to find one.
If he calls back, I don't know why you would even consider having him because the reality is that he is likely to up and off again when it suits, and you will just remain the gap stop.
You have not lost your pride and dignity by asking him to reconsider - that is love. You will lose your pride and dignity if you accept him back.
2007-10-15 04:27:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have any hope, that is a thing you are doing wrong. You are asking other people if their ex's have come back, but I really don't think you should have hope. I was with my previous bf for 6 years, he treated me really bad in our last 4 years of being together, I gave him all of my attention, love and support, he just didn't know how to cherish it. I broke up with him 8 months ago, and have found someone that is cherishing my kindness. My ex has begged me till this day to go back with him, but I have found someone that from the first moment has been very kind and loving towards me. I'm telling you this, because if your ex made a huge mistake, he will notice it, hopefully it's not too late like my ex, but just please don't keep your hopes up. Just move on and explore the world.
2007-10-15 04:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by masdtx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A great way to get your ex back is https://tr.im/9Qvip
They might realize they need you and come crawling back!
If you do get back together, don't let the same issues that destroyed your relationship crop up again. Have a good, long talk about how you're both going to make it right this time.
2015-02-02 13:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a good idea to have expectations of this guy. At least he broke up and was honest about his feelings.
He's probably not into the relationship anymore, and did what was best for himself, by breaking up. It would have been unfair of him if he strung you along and faked happiness.
I think it's best to move on, and to readjust to being single for a while. Get your head together, and figure out what you want in life... spend time with friends and doing things which take up your spare time -- a hobby, or a class of some sort?
take care, and i hope you heal well.. i know you are struggling, and it doesn't seem fair. we have all experienced the pain of a break up. i know it's difficult.
you will heal in time. hugs
2007-10-15 04:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if he is really this important to you to get back then the best thing you can do is just to ignore him. Do not call him. Give him tons of space, and if he does call you act like you are not bothered by the break up. Just say to him on the phone, hello how are you doing, and is there something I can hellp you with? Four years is a lot of time just for someone to be thrown away. Just give him space and act like you are fine. Do not ever let him see you down or know you are down. Whatever you do do not let him win, be strong and stay strong.
2007-10-15 04:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by daisy322_98 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, my ex left because he needed more freedom and then he came back, but he left again with the same excuse. You can't really beg anybody to stay with you. I have done it and not only do they still leave, but you feel foolish for begging and groveling.
You have to have enough self-esteem to know that you will be fine with or without him. You don't need him to make you the woman you are - all you need is yourself.
Don't ask him to come back . . . you only think you want him. What you want is the happiness you used to have. Now that it is gone, you think he is the one who gave it to you, but it wasn't him. It was you. Just find yourself again and try not to let him in. If you do, make sure you don't do anything to embarass yourself, because this is what you will regret most. Allow yourself to grieve this loss and take it real easy for the next few days. Good luck in love.
2007-10-15 05:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by oh really 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like ne a couple years back.
Over 4 years together and she wanted to be single.
Yes, youre losing your dignity.
Stop blaming yourself.
If he cant appreciate you, someone else will.
He doesnt deserve you.
I did the same thing. When I finally stopped, he started calling like crazy.
By then I decided I didnt like the situation at all.
I wasnt being treated right.
He's not the one who needs to clear his thoughts.
You are. He's not worth it.
2007-10-15 04:27:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. After my relationships ended either by me, or by them, once they say find another man, or I tell them to find another woman, it's because I have already moved on or they have and we don't contact each other ever again. I did get back with one guy, but it was a mistake. So after that once it was over, it was over.
2007-10-15 04:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋