How can i change who i am ?

Question

Its that im a shy guy, i always forget what to say when im with people, when i get the chance to do somthing like kiss a girl i over think it, and end up not doing it ... How can i become more confident about my actions so that i can do what i want to do ?

Answer 1

Try to focus on the other person rather than on yourself. People like it when you ask them questions about themselves. Listen to what they are saying and follow-up with something related that you can ask. Open-ended questions get people talking more than yes/no questions. Also watch other people's reactions rather than worrying about what you will do next. If you read their cues correctly, you will know when the time is right to act.

Answer 2

I used to be exactly like that. Now I've totally changed. I WAS a total introvert - now I am an extrovert in a social situation.

I noticed one thing that was keeping me from becoming talkative, and it was the fact that whenever I held a conversation with someone, I was WAAAY too aware of what "I" was saying. As a result, I wasn't holding a proper conversation. All I could hear was my own voice saying things that made me worry that maybe the person listening to me thought I'm stupid, boring or unattractive.

So one thing that you must not forget is to LISTEN TO THE OTHER PERSON, not to yourself. Forget about how you sound, concentrate on keeping the conversation flowing. Talk assertively and CLEARLY, and don't think about what the person might think of you. There is nothing beneficial doing that.

I did it. You can do it!

Answer 3

Kissing a girl without a clear OK is dangerous these days. You may be better off letting her do the kissing. The rest of your problem seems to be a lack of self-confidence. This can be addressed by counseling or by not focusing on the negative aspects of your behavior. Accentuate the positive, as the song says. You will make mistakes, we all do. As you are starting to realize, not doing something can be as much a mistake as doing something. Accept the fact you will make mistakes, and you will feel better about yourself..

Answer 4

I used to be really shy and it took me a long time to get over it. I would just put myself in situations where I couldn't be shy. (like going out with friends) When you are sitting somewhere with a bunch of people think about what you are going to say and SaY It!!! Honestly.. it's really hard to do at first but after you do you will be so happy you did. Just starting a convo with one random person will probably boost your confidence way up. Sorry I couldn't help you a little better..

Answer 5

Just do whatever you think you should without a doubt or a second thought. If you think you want to do it, just go for it. Unless it's something bad and effects someone or something around you in a negative matter. If it's something light as a kiss, don't have a second thought unless the person you're going to do it with doesn't want to. If the person wants to do it, just kiss her and regret it later. Thinking of something like "Agh! I shouldn't have kissed that sl*t" or something around that area the next day.

What's there to lose? Your reputation? Your money? Your humanity? What is there to lose from a kiss? In your case, you probably should be a bit mroe creless and senseless towards something like that. Well, to certain extent of course. Don't apply it to everything.

Answer 6

Hun for the most part all people tend to feel that way at times. I have moments of being shy or backing out of things because I get nervous. Thats ok. Try just being more assertive about things. Start with small stuff. Like while out somewhere saying hello to people or talking with someone you normally wouldn't.

Answer 7

I spent a long time with the very same issue. I saw other people who had similar problems, and I watched them to see how they tried to deal with their problems. Many of these people failed, and did not become the person they wanted to be. The thing I noticed they all had in common was they tried much to hard to change themselves. People say, you can't change who you are. It's not true.

You have to set goals for yourself, say to yourself, who do I want to be? What do I want to be? Anything is possible.

The thing that restricted these people from becoming who they wanted to be (the ones who tried to hard) was the the fact that, well, they tried to hard. They restricted themselves, and people began to treat them differently, and not in a possitive way.

I am dealing with this issue, just like you. However, I am making progress in my own life, because I am going about changing myself gradually. The other people tried to hard to change themselves quickely.

Remember, it was a process that made you shy. It will take another process to reverse that. Just take time to relish in the glory of your accomplishments, and build confidence from it. Like kissing a pretty girl. Do you know how many guys never get to do that? if you do, be proud of yourself.

Just be patient. You'll get there. Everything I told you is working out alright for me, so I'm sure you'll do just fine. Good luck.

Answer 8

Find out, who you really are. Ask yourself: "Who am I"? You are already yourself but have forgotten. When you are in contact with yourself, you know what you need to do in each moment. Do some grounding exercises, to get you out of your mind and into the body. Be open to experiments. Even you go "wrong" you will learn from that too! So, take the courage and jump.

Answer 9

I would say what you are going to have to start doing is Not thinking about it. Make your self at least go up and say hi how are you doing today blah blah blah to at least one new girl a day and once you see you aren't making a fool of yourself or getting rejected your confidence will start to go up. That, or (if your over 21) get drunk lol jk

Answer 10

i'm not really sure how, but i managed to change. i was so shy in high school, but when i moved to university i thought that this is my chance to be whoever i want. so i just wouldn't let me get in the way of who i wanted to be. i decided to be really outgoing and then i was. so... maybe just try a different environment where no one knows you as the shy guy. that might make it a little easier.