My soon to be ex is going into treatment because he cannot stop drinking. He wants to see the kids while he is there but I don't want my kids to see him like that. Should I? I think he would be in the hospital. Thanks
2007-10-15 04:07:46 · 10 answers · asked by lvbrdy4vr 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would talk to the treatment center. There will be a week or two (or more) that he will not be allowed minors to visit.
2007-10-15 04:51:36 · answer #1 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex checked into treatment when my girls were 9 and 7. I chose not to tell them straight away. As it turns out, it was probably for the best as he only stayed 3 days, then checked himself out. Depending on how old your children are, and if he is serious about getting the help he needs, use your best judgment. If there is family intervention and your children want to be there, by all means, they should be.
Trust me, they have seen him in much worse conditions if they have seen him drunk. Having them see him there, may make a stronger case for him wanting to get better.
2007-10-15 11:17:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a recovering addict myself I will tell you it is good for the kids to atleast to a meeting(AA/NA) so they can try to understand the power of a certain substance and the addiction it causes. I know that while I lived in a treatment/halfway house my kids came to see me and it really made it easier for me to cope. I also was reminded of one of the reasons for my decision to get help and quit using. First and foremost, you cannot quit for any other reason but for yourself. But seeing my kids not want to be around me and refusing to come home if I was there was my breaking point to help myself. It is good for kids, that is if they are at a age they will understand, to help and be supportive to a parent that is recovering. AA has a support group for family members of an alcoholic/addict. Good Luck to you all!!!
2007-10-15 21:41:11 · answer #3 · answered by marcy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still their father....He will be in a treatment center and will not have access to alcohol....I think by allowing him to see his children will give him encouragement to complete the treatment....I think your kids have probably see far worst of him when he has been drinking....so I am not sure what you mean by seeing him like he will be in a treatment center.....
2007-10-15 11:14:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he should, but first talk to the people at the rehab/hospital to determine a proper time line for the first visit. If he is going through detox it might be a few days before he is allowed visiters and a few more before it is appropriate for him to see his children. The employees at the hospital will know when is appropriate.
2007-10-15 11:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes your kids should be able to see him, in treatment, might be a good life lesson for them,
2007-10-15 11:19:59 · answer #6 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd let him get sober before he see the kids... make hime think about what he missing and how he was screwing up everyone else life while he was drinking
2007-10-15 11:12:04 · answer #7 · answered by Back W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can they see him face to face or would it be through a window or bars? My daughter's biological father went to jail when she was a year old. His mother and lawyer called and wanted me to take her to see him.. seeing him through a window, I decided, was more traumatizing than just not seeing him. You're their mother. You know best.
2007-10-15 11:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should be there for awhile so he can get some counseling before subjecting your children to this.
2007-10-15 11:13:47 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's their father. As long as he's not having delirium tremors or violent, they should see their dad.
2007-10-15 11:11:31 · answer #10 · answered by ranch_tester 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋