do you like this poem? I do?

Question

I woke early one morning
the earth lay cool and still
when suddenly a tiny bird
perched on my window sill
he sang a song so lovely
so carefree and so gay
that slowly all my troubles
began to slip away
he sang of far off places
of laughter and of fun
it seemed his very trilling
brought out the morning sun
i stirred beneath the covers
crept slowly out of bed
then gently shut the window
and crushed his **c*ing head

I'm not a morning person

Answer 1

You had it all going for you until the last line and you blew the whole thing. There is no place in poetry for that kind of language. From me you'll get a virtual soapy mouth washing, and NO star.

Answer 2

The poet Keats lay in his bed
Penniless, sad and nearly dead
No mighty verse was his creation
Alas, he had no inspiration
Then a nightingale hopped up on his window sill
And handed him a dollar bill
"Keats", it chirped in gentle tone,
"Remember, this is just a loan."
That's why Keats wrote, though wan and pale,
Of what he 'owed to a nightingale'.

Answer 3

Pretty funny. I would probably make the last line "little head" to keep it in the cute fairy tale voice.

Answer 4

lol, that is cute, i like the way in the beginning you make it seem like your snow white waking up to the singing of birds and at the end you become the evil step mom and just kill it.


kudos i like it.

Answer 5

So change the time of day.

Answer 6

That's terrible, but a good poem tho.

Answer 7

I loved it I give you a 10. GOD BLESS

Answer 8

Good poem, bit morbid, but still good. ;D

Answer 9

FABU! (fabulous) i love it! where did you get that poem? it is great! and sad... but still great!

Answer 10

ahhh! thats horrible... good but weird.