What does "Act like a wife" mean?

Question

My husband and I fight all the time. He's hardly ever nice to me anymore, just sarcastic and hateful. He won't sleep with me anymore. It's ridiculous. We're only 25 and we have a one year old. I quit doing things for him like HIS laundry and cooking for him because he never does anything for us. He hardly ever plays with our son and he never takes us anywhere or wants to spend time doing things with us. He complains if I want to take our son to the park. He never helps around the house and says that he "doesn't do housework" even though all he has to do is go to work (easy work, mind you) and sleep. So, he doesn't act like a husband/father, so I stopped acting like a wife. We've only been married 2½ years, does this ever end? I just want to be happy..

Answer 1

You are on a fast track to divorce court. Somebody has to give. The two of you need to bring "something" to the table. The part of yourself that is open and willing to work on saving your marriage. Try couseling, if necessary, but if you value your marriage and want your child to NOT be another statistic of divorce, take steps to change this now. How about telling your husband that if he'll agree to make an effort to spend more time with the two of you, you'll make more of an effort to cook his dinner, do his laundry, etc., and then work up from there. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 2

To "act like a wife" means to be a lovely, understanding, considerate spouse to your husband. It also means doing housework, laundry, and caring for you children. Basically it means one should be mature enough to take care of her family and home. However, if he isn't "acting like a husband" why should you have to act like a wife? I mean the house is his also. Why can't he help you with some of the housework and laundry? Why can't he feed the baby every once in a while to give you a break? You are his wife, not his maid. That is his home and child just as much as it is yours. If you are unhappy, try to communicate with him to fix it. If you are interested, marriage counseling might help. Even if he won't go, it might help you realize that you do not need this guy. There are plenty of men out there that realize housework, laundry, and caring for children should be shared by both parents. It just works better that way. You each can respect the other and appreciate the help you are receiving. If your husband doesn't wish to fix this situation, then you should consider leaving. I know it will be different but you do not need to bring your child up in an unhappy home. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I think you should show him this question... I also think you gotta give a little to get a little. You two arent going to hear each other as long as you're angry and being stubborn, that goes for both of you.

You feel he isnt doing enough, he feels the same about you so you two have to compromise and find a way that each of you can help the other. Marriage is about compromise, sacrifice and HARD work. lol. Its even harder right after a baby.

You've got to talk and both be willing to work this out. Try writing him a letter, one that doesnt take on a blaming tone, and see where he stands. Try to see if there is a way to have peace in the house. You gotta bend a little, just a little I'm not asking you to be a door mat! Take me for example: My hubby and I got into this spat because of something I said, jokingly that he took offense to. In that sort of situation, one automatically jumps to the defense. I was irritated, but gave in and just tried talking with him to bring things to the surface. We were able to understand where the other was coming from, and not feel like we were being attacked. Sometimes it just takes the more level headed of the two, to take that initiative. Often the position of level headed switched, depending on the situation.

Just try it out. Write a letter, a heart felt letter, and express how you feel, how much you love him, and especially add this part:

"So, he doesn't act like a husband/father, so I stopped acting like a wife. We've only been married 2½ years, does this ever end? I just want to be happy.."

I think that's important because it outlines how you each feel about the other. More importantly you're saying that you just want to be happy, showing us, and him, that you just dont want to fight anymore.

Wave the white flag honey... (and have great make up sex hehehe)

Answer 4

I don't know about "acting like a wife", but I believe the person who is at home with a young child can do the basics like, cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc. Also, I do believe both parents should take time with the child and it sounds like he needs to do his part too. If you worked outside of the home too, then both of you should share household duties. I have a feeling you two are being a little stubborn and have created a little war of if you don't do this, then I won't do that. I would talk to him about this and just do the "at home" work, if he doesn't change some things on his part, I would leave if you want to be happy. Good Luck!

Answer 5

"Act like a wife" means that he wants you in the space he believes you belong in, cooking, cleaning, and everything possible to serve him as your King, to bow down and do what he says when he says it.
This is not a marriage, you both are 25 and no sex? Holy moly, there is only one tangible explanation here:
Your husband may be (probably IS) cheating on you, and he likes to control his women, and believes that they have a "place". He was looking to marry someone who would take over the chores that his mother used to do for him.
You may consider to cut your losses and find a real man who believes that women should be who they are, not who your man now wants his women to be.

By not acting like a wife, he not acting like a husband/father; where is the child through all this??
You need to do what`s right for the child. Acting this way is very impressionable to children; they mimic what they see and may accept this type of behaviour as normal; and may carry on in their adult life with these attitudes.
So don`t raise another statistic. Make the changes and start now before this becomes a learned behaviour for your young one.

Answer 6

Maybe it has to do with the way he was brought up, seeing his mom and the way she interacted with the rest of her family and what she was expected to do or just did out of what she saw or was taught. It may never end for you unless you're willing to talk it out with him and get an agreement on what is fair and right to do. He may be depressed over time you had to spend with the child as a baby, especially if he had very little to do with a newborn, and this is a carryover to that. Some men expect the wife to do the house chores, especially if they aren't a working mom out on a job daily, so that may have a large part in the way he is. But as far as participating in family outings and such, may have to do with some sort of depression.

Answer 7

Your complaining because your husband isnt nice to you any more why should he got you married you and gave you a child totake care of. He doesnt sleep with you anymore so you stopped doing your wifely duties for your husband what has this solve for you. You have allowed this man to get by with this from the beganning so what is it that you want from him. It sounds like to me something more is going on here none of my business but just take care of you and your child and god will do the rest.

best of luck

Answer 8

I empathise with you but being pregnant for nine months then the year after a baby is pretty taxing for both of you. It does get better but both of you have to stop being stubborn or you will miss out on some of the best years of your life.

Answer 9

people have stupid stereotypes, I am white, but according to many people I act too black, who cares race is a made up concept, at least among humans. If race really existed, all "biracial" people would be sterile and unable to reproduce

Answer 10

After having our daughter, my husband and I had a lot of fights, but you have to sit down calmly and talk about your issues... As tired as you are , he is just as tired(even if his work is easy).... and if you are an at home mom, try keeping up with the house despite what he contrabutes, the mess alone will keep you depressed...Good luck..