so i took some tests this weekend and it was positive,,i got to the doc today to confirm it. My question is for all those ladies with unplanned babies waht did you do/think when you found out . I have thoughts of both having and not having it .. i have no friends to relate that have been in the situation.. thoughts??
2007-10-15 03:37:35 · 23 answers · asked by girl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The dad to be i guess and i are still in a relationship. we have been dating not even a year. he said he wuold want me to have it but its my choice. I have a year of school left to go and i know this may just delay it but i will get it done im just so confused.
2007-10-15 04:07:28 · update #1
I found out I was pregnant when I was 7 weeks and 5 days, almost two months already...and I had only been with my boyfriend for 4 months total, when I found out. I thought of abortion, but I didn't think I was ready for it. I thought to myself I was more ready to have a baby...or I could get used to have a baby anyway, than to have an abortion and never get to know this little person. I thought my mom gave me the opportunity to live and I should give this baby the opportunity too. My boyfriend didn't want me to have an abortion at all, he made it clear that it was not fair for the baby, and that if I didn't want the baby that I could have it and give it to him to raise on his own...but he gave me my space and time to think about it. I talked with my mom and sister, they both told me to have it. My dad actually told me to have an abortion but told me he personally thought it was a crime...but that it would mess up my life at this time, blah blah blah, since I have not even finished college or have a great job either. Anyway, when my dad told me all these things (and more) I cried so bad I realized I actually wanted to have this baby and that I was upset that he could even tell me these things. He was happy to find out I was having it and even happier when I told him a couple of days ago it's a boy and I'm naming my baby after him (only the middle name though). I think I needed other people's support to make sure I could have this baby. I don't know what I could have done if I didn't have my family's support. Of course, they supported the idea of me having the baby but they didn't like the idea of me and my boyfriend. They don't like my boyfriend very much for 'whatever' reasons...you know, I got into a relationship with him and I wasn't even sure I wanted it to be serious. But things happen. They happened to me and now I'm trying to find a way to support myself emotionally so my baby is okay. I'm not in the best of financial situation...but I will have to work hard to do better once my baby is here. My boyfriend will have to step up to the plate and do something about me and our baby.
I'm supporting my brother right now and my boyfriend and I are not making enough money for everything we have to pay. I will have to make a lot of changes in my life...but if I don't see people react I'm going to have to do it on my own...well, actually! I'm going to have to do it with and for my baby...that's all the love and energy and strength I'm going to need.
Good luck and CONGRATS! :)
You know what? things happen for a reason..I was going to marry this guy and never took care of myself...never got pregnant either. Then we broke up and months later I'm pregnant with somebody I don't even know well. It's weird how things happen sometimes...but you never know right at the moment why they're happening, you understand them later, so let this baby come to your life and you will see later why you needed him/her in your life. Everything happens for a reason...
2007-10-15 05:20:03 · answer #1 · answered by Diana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first pregnancy was not planned..my son is now 14 months old. I am now 36 weeks pregnant (another unplanned) but my fiance and I had mixed feelings with our son. He was happy and I was horrified...I just turned 19 and I didnt know what to do. My fiance is 8 years older so he was ready to have a baby. This pregnancy we both were scared about having 2 close in age but we both were pretty excited. I will tell you what my mother told me when I found out I was pregnant the first time (my mother had me when she was 18) "I cant say you are making the biggest mistake of your life because im sitting here looking at the best mistake I ever made, and If I didnt have you it would have been the worst mistake I ever made" it made me realize that planned or unplanned having a baby is the best thing that will ever happen to you as long as you are open and ready for it...and it will take some time to feel ready but dont worry after the first initial shock excitement will definately take over!
2007-10-15 03:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when I was 20 even though I was taking pills and they had worked for years.. I was poor, in the middle of college, with someone I was unsure if I wanted to stay with. I decided to have an abortion, it not an easy decision, but I've always been glad I did. But, I have several friends who have really regretted their abortions, and it really comes down to what YOU believe is the best thing to do. I will say this, I know that if you do decide to keep the baby by the time it gets here you'll be glad you did, because that is just how it works with babies.
Chances are that no matter what you do, as long as you are healthy and don't have a complicated pregnancy, your future fertility will not be affected. Good luck, I know it's hard.
2007-10-15 04:18:39 · answer #3 · answered by dunefangirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was 38 years old, my husband and I found out I was pregnant. I had been on birth control pills for 11 years and our children were 18, 15, and 12. It was a complete shock to us as well as my doctor who originally thought my stomach issues were due to Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Because of the hormones in the Pill, I had seemingly regular periods for 2 months after I would have conceived followed by one lighter than normal period. I was 17 weeks along when we found out, so our window of opportunity to "do" something about it was small. For us, abortion was never an option we considered. We refused the multitude of tests offered us as well. Due to my age and the fact that I had been taking high blood pressure medication and migraine medication as well as birth control pills (which, by the way, have no known risk to the baby) there were some concerns as to the health of the baby. I did develop Gestational Diabetes and we had a few labor and delivery issues, but our little "surprise" is now 10 years old and we just can't imagine our family complete without her.
2007-10-15 03:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had two unplanned pregnancies. The first was my fourth pregnancy and it ended at ten weeks with a miscarriage, the second is my current pregnancy (fifth). I had feelings of whether I wanted the baby or not with the first unplanned but not with the second, i think because of the emotions I went through with the loss of the pregnancy and the fact that I didn't want to go through that again! It is certainly a tough decision though and I'm glad you're seeking advice from those who have been through it.
2007-10-15 03:49:33 · answer #5 · answered by jujube 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of it depends on if you have a partner that is happy about it and going to help you, altho.. some relationships dont work out in the end and you become a single parent (Im one)
If you think that you can support having a baby, cause let me tell you .. its hard work supporting from birth till 18 or so... do you have help? family etc...
Are you willing to give up your life, for another.. cause thats what your doing basically.. It is rewarding and the best feeling ever.. But, I wish that I had planned mine and was ready finacially...
Good Luck with whatever you choose to do!
2007-10-15 03:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by Inquiring Mind 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both of mine were unplanned, but I planned to eventually have children with my fiancee, so we decided to go through with the pregnancy. It was a little earlier than we planned, I was only 22 when I gave birth, but I am so happy I went through with it. We had to live with my parents for a year because we couldn't afford a place of our own and take care of the baby. It was really tough, but now we own a home, and my youngest will be one this week. It depends on your situation, your lifestyle, your relationship with the father etc. I made the choice that was right for me but every situation is different.
2007-10-15 03:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I found out I was pregnant, I started crying. But this is because I have had a previous miscarriage and worried myself silly for a good while. I never thought of not having the baby, in fact, I wanted/want it pretty badly. Now, I am 37 weeks and extremely excited and wanting to hold him and see him.
2007-10-15 03:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by Brooke S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what is right for you. Consider these things:
How is your health in general? Would a pregnancy complicate your health?
How are you with children?
How is your living situation?
Do you have anger issues? Would a child be in danger by living with you?
How is your maturity level? (be honest with yourself)
What is your financial situation?
Is there domestic violence in your home? Keep in mind that if there is but the child is not physically harmed, it is still child abuse for her to be a witness to it.
Do you have a support system?
If you, in all honesty, find you cannot care for a child just not, please consider adoption.
Although I am pro-life, since I have never been in your shoes I will not tell you not to abort. However, I encourage you to at least keep the baby to term.
2007-10-15 03:49:14 · answer #9 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my pregnancy was not planned but deep inside we both wanted it. I was so happy but scared at the same time of telling my parents. Im 20 yrs old and he is 28. He was even happier than me and was already planning on how to love his baby BOY!!! lol. its a great thing when you find out that God has given you a little miracle inside of you. Its a gift dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
2007-10-15 03:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Is that your final answer? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋