She spent alot of the day taking with him. We have 3 kids under 5 and I spent most of the day walking them around so she could catch up with old fiends. ( it was a bring you kids with you 15yr HS reunion) Anyway we are vey open and honest with each other. Afterwards I was talking to her about him and asking her how it was to see him. She said that she had chosen me and was happen and would not change that but she did still have stong feelings for him. Even still loved him in some ways. ( Being a guy I could completly understand her having sexual feeling for him but she was talking more about those "emotinal" feelings that I and most guys do not understand so well) She said just give me a day to get my feelings in check and put some perspective on them and then we can talk all you want. Is this normal. He just went through a divorce and I do not know if him bing free added to the exitment of an old boy friend or not.
2007-10-15 03:31:06 · 20 answers · asked by Brian 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she forgot about him until the reunion she will forget about him after :)
2007-10-15 03:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
she's being honest. that's good. you asked and apparently you've made her feel comfortable enough and she TRUSTS you to be able to handle it. i don't think she would have told you this if ur relationship is on shaky grounds. so what??? she has feelings coming up from the past. we all do. she's got a family and obvisouly a husband who is a great guy. leave her alone. don't even bring it up. move on. have some special times like you did when you met. rekindle the fire. she has 3 kids under 5, how fun can that be everyday? bring the fun and romance back. make her laugh. she loves you. she's done nothing wrong and u sir, seem to have been doing everything right. keep it up. this will pass. let it go.best wishes.
2007-10-15 04:33:11 · answer #2 · answered by (!)listen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is really good that you and your wife have an open relationship. I agree with most (not all) of the answers posted. Nostalgia is a very real emotion and everyone is affected by it at one time or another. When we remember the old days with rose coloured glasses on and we somehow we forget the bad stuff or just don't remember the whole picture. She just got caught up in those feelings a bit and I suspect it will subside soon. Take her out, don't encourage her talking to him because nostalgia interferes with reality and rational thinking. Let her put her thoughts in check. She is still your wife and from what you said she is aware of her priority to you.
Peace
2007-10-15 03:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by celle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is normal. All of us (men and women, really) have a huge capacity to love, and just because a boyfriend didn't work out doesn't mean that all the love just goes away.
See, I can understand the sexual feelings being gone, while the emotional ties remain. :)
She chose you and she is still choosing you. The only reason to worry would be if she were hiding this from you, but she's being very honest.
You're a lucky guy.
2007-10-15 03:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by Jodie G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all be happy that you two have an open and honest relationship. Most married couples don't.
I would just remind her why she picked you. Surprise her by cooking dinner, cleaning the house, be romantic. She picked you for a reason.
There will always be a special place in her heart for the ex though. There is in my heart for mine. Not all of them, just the "one that got away". Mine got away for a reason and I'm happy he did. It would've never worked out anyways.
Give her a day, then start talking to her and reminding her of how much you love her.
She probably just needs a break from it all. She's also "re-living" her youthful days before kids.
2007-10-15 03:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I'd worry about it. I'm sure there have been times when you've been reminded about something that was fun and exciting in your past and said " man, those were good times, I wish I could go back ". You don't want to actually go back to those times, it just gives you a good feeling. I think this is what's going on with your wife. After a day or two she'll be back to normal! I hope this makes sense, I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words right now!
2007-10-15 03:48:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
After many years of marriage, the Reunion was something she built up in her mind...a fantasy for a day.
Away from the kids and husband for just a while.
He reminded her of her youth, made her feel young and in-love like we all were when we were teens. Wouldn't it be nice to be back in High School, sometimes?
Don't worry about it. She might play with this 'what if ' fantasy for a while in her head. But I think you can help remind her of the real love, home and support she finds herself surrounded with everyday.
And, well, flirt with her a little.
2007-10-15 03:46:33 · answer #7 · answered by kelly1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this is the time for you to ask her out for a special evening together someplace romantic and remind her again why she chose you. Don't give in to the green eyed monster, but drive the other guy out of her mind.
With three kids life is probably lost a lot of its magic for the 2 of you, but with some effort on your part you can regain it and eventually surpass it.
2007-10-15 03:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by Makemeaspark 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thats not fair to you. You are handling it respectfully I must say but only give her one day. Everyone gets excited to see an old flame but she has a new life and its not fair to ignite something that was once a dead issue. He just went through a divorce so most likely he is vulnerable right now. Her actions will most likely ignite a phony feeling in him. Talk to her when the kids are in bed and tell her how you feel.
2007-10-15 03:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tha Jane 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
men will think of sex, but your wife isn't, trust me, she's thinking of the romantic novel type of emotional tie that women crave. and the craving is just like the craving men have for sex. but it's not sexual. being married twelve years, or even two years, men stop being romantic as they were when they were new in the relationship. this other man listened to your wife, he looked in her eyes, he laughed at her jokes, he asked her for more detail when she expressed her feelings, he showed an interest in her personally, he did all those things you did in the beginning.
Men will say that their women shouldn't allow them to go around hungry for sex because they'll get it from somewhere else. Well, men shouldn't let their women go around hungry for intimacy, because the men they find for intimacy will only want sex.
Give her more attention.
2007-10-15 03:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by Liteson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not the old boyfriend she has feelings for but the memories of being younger again. Those memories tend to forget the bad times and make the good times even better.
2007-10-15 03:39:50 · answer #11 · answered by doglover 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋