we are 40 years old. and we are barely making the bills.... having a another kid will be hard...she will quit her job and then we will be stressing ...????? how do I explain to her... this is what I want...????
2007-10-15 03:16:45 · 14 answers · asked by timmyripsall 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I won't take sides, but I maybe I can give you both something to think about.
First it isn't about just what you want. It's about coming to a compromise with your spouse.
You both need to have a big long discussion about the pro's and con's. Your daughter would have a sibling. Someone to grow with and be with her when you and her mother are both gone. You would be expanding your family greatly, providing both kids grow up and had families. Do you both want a big family? A very small family? Decide what's important.
Money comes and goes. Are their costs you can cut? Or can you absolutely not afford to cut any costs right now? Discuss these things. Is she willing to work 2 jobs for next 2 years and then maybe save up and have a second child? Are you willing to do this, too?
You BOTH need to come to an agreement. I don't believe either of you should be telling each other this is the way it is.
2007-10-15 03:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by plastic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying have you tried explaining this to her to make her see. She wants another child perhaps so that the one you have wont be lonely and that's understandable also. But your 40 years old and your both working just making ends meet and if she has a child than she will have to stop working to take care of both children.
Marriage is about compromising and children are gift from god.Sounds like to me that you are not willing to compromise .
i hope that you wont get angry but this is just suggestion to you okay maybe if you both worked different hours and save some money than you will be able to have a child.
But do what will make the both of you happy.
My heart goes out to the both of you.
best of luck
2007-10-15 10:30:18 · answer #2 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is too old to carry a baby. Do you know the risks involved having a child at her age? The baby can be very normal yes, but it can also be deformed, why chance bringing a little one in our world to only suffer? I certainly wouldn't besides you don't want another one she needs to respect that decision as your wife.
2007-10-15 10:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by Maria 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, and understand your point fully.
This is all the more reason these things should be contracted before marriage.
Remind her of the population problems and the fact your daughter will have a much better, fruitful life if there isnt another child diminishing your funding abilities.
2007-10-15 10:21:22 · answer #4 · answered by Noone i 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you just told us on here. You love her and your little girl and you like your comfy little family. You do not want another child because you feel it will stress the family and the outcome would not be a positive. Apologize and understand but be firm in your feelings.
2007-10-15 10:21:31 · answer #5 · answered by jslorri 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would tell her that as a father i am planning for my daughter to go to college and having that second child is going to ruin her future because it's clear that you will not have enough funds to provide for her in the way that you aspire to. you would like to concentrate on the first child. if in a year or two finances get better she can still get pregnant.
2007-10-15 10:26:56 · answer #6 · answered by sarah kay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk with her,Explain to her that u2 are not young anymore and having another child right now would take away from the other one.
2007-10-15 10:20:49 · answer #7 · answered by Gemini 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sit down with her go over all the bills and show her how when she no longer is working how it will effect your bills even more and, really talk about it. Be honest and sincere.
2007-10-15 10:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
explain to her that if u have another kid that you' ll be really low on money. That you would want the best for another kid but cant make that happen.
2007-10-15 10:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♪♥§♫Arizona Chick♫§♥♪ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you will never be able to financially do it but having babies doesnt have anything to do with that but if you dont want anymore children then that is what you tell her my motto is i would rather raise 1 child right than 20 wrong
2007-10-15 10:28:13 · answer #10 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋