My younger sister is almost 50, married and very poor. Her husband is on disability and she has never worked outside the home. Their children are grown now and on their own. Up until his death 5 years ago our father had bought used cars and pickups and gave them to my sister (and her family). "Sister" hasn't asked yet, but I'm sure there is a need. She lives in another state so I can't simply lend her my car when she needs it. They live in a very rural area so public transportation isn't an option. I have two brothers who might help me buy her a vehicle but is this our obligation? We are not wealthy people, just working class with many bills of our own.
What would you do?
2007-10-15 03:15:06 · 17 answers · asked by Miz D 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Depends on what you consider obligation. Family members should never feel indebted to each other. They are family after all. Why did your father give them vehicles, out of obligation or out of love? There should be nobody more important in the world than family, and family should look out after each other. It is not a requirement, it is what Jesus taught us is right to do. However, we should not put our own spouse and children at risk to do so. We must keep our priorities, but if it's at all possible for you and your brothers to scrape together the money to help your sister, if it was me I wouldn't hesitate. If I had two and anybody in my family truly needed one I would give them one. In fact, if I only had one and someone needed it more urgently than I, it would be theirs. Is this not what love and family is all about. I gave a car, this summer, to a man I didn't even know just because he needed it.
2007-10-15 08:13:40 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that she should try to keep her present car running by
keeping it tuned up and in good running order. Why should
anyone in the family feel an obligation to supplying her with
another vehicle when everyone has to meet their own bills
as you mentioned?. If your father can afford it, and enjoys doing this, then let him be the generous donator. I just hope she appreciates his generosity over the years.
My hubby and I are also poor by todays standards. And live
on a very weak SS amount each month. We stretch our dollars til they can't be stretched further. And like your sister
and husband, I'm sure, get food stamps as seniors that the
disabled alike can receive through a state program. No one
has ever offered to give us a car. We've had to manage on
our own and keep what we have running well. If something
were to happen to our car, we'd be faced with taking the
bus. I realize your sister lives in a remote area. Perhaps she
could arrange to ride to stores with a neighbor once a week,
if her car isn't in good shape. Then save their car for trips
to doctors or what have you. If you really wanted to contribute
to her cause, then by all means put some money into the
pot and any other relative as well, so the donation wouldn't
fall on just your dads' shoulders. And let her know, that from
now on, she will have to find her own source for newer
transportation. There has to be an end, sometime. Some-
times we all have to make adjustments in order to live.
2007-10-15 20:15:56 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if you and your siblings could agree, it would be a wonderful and greatly appreciated gift. It is so difficult to get around without transporation, even the simple little things like running out of food or medicine takes enourmous effort to get to where you need to gowithout transporation. Have you ever had to go grocery shopping and lug all the bags home, walking, or dropped off at a bus stop 3 miles from your home?
No, it isn't your obligation, but it is family. If oyu are in a position with the help of other family members, I think it would be terrific. Maybe her children can pitch in to help cover some of the expenses too..
2007-10-15 06:35:53 · answer #3 · answered by slk29406 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So, have you ever checked with the lender to look should you *can* expect the mortgage? You are not able to simply preserve the auto and make the repayments. The executor/individual consultant is in charge for settling the property and that involves amassing resources up, paying money owed and *then* dispensing any inheritance. You would possibly ought to take your sister to court docket. If you do not, the lender must.
2016-09-05 10:01:16 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is 50.Your father didn't do her any favors.She doesn't know how to stand on her own two feet.She needs to learn to take care of herself.I don't mean to be harsh but,like you say your not rich.If she brings it up tell her if you had the money you would love to help.Let her know that thing are tight and you don't have the money to spare.Keep her in your prayers.
2007-10-15 10:39:18 · answer #5 · answered by fernwood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to look into helping your sister and her husband move to an area that is less rural, so they have more of the conveniences. And, your sister could be with in walking distance of the stores, etc.I live in Indiana, and we have small buses that will pick up the elderly and handicapped for free. I think it is funded by United Way.And, why doesn't your sister's children help?
2007-10-15 03:24:13 · answer #6 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
IF you and your brothers could present to them a 'plan' so to speak where you all would give X amount IF they would match it...sure! Sisters/Brothers help those who can help themselves...[paraphrased of course]
Also in my area there are car donation groups who help disabled low income people get used cars...do some research to see what is available..Goodwill is one.
2007-10-15 10:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by sage seeker 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you aren't obligated, but if 3 of you are in a position to pool your resources and help her out, go ahead and do it as long as it is from the heart. You don't want her to feel obligated, you just want her to know if she can use this help, that it is available. Bless you for caring.
2007-10-15 03:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by Lady G 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
How kind and thoughtful of you. I think it is a wonderful idea. If your brothers help it would be a gift from the family. She is truly blessed to have family concerned about her needs. I'm sure you will be blessed back 100 fold.
2007-10-15 03:40:35 · answer #9 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course this is NOT an obligation, but it sure is a nice way to treat family. If you are married, talk it over with him first....does he mind? If not, then talk it over with your brothers..if they agreen, then ask your sister...IF all are in the OK with this, I can't think of a nicer thing to do for someone else...gives them freedom. But please do this only IF you all do it from the heart, expect NOTHING back in return...often, some give and feel that the recipient is indebted to them, not a nice price to place on a gift. Good luck and peace, Goldwing
2007-10-15 03:24:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋