When we were in the grocery my husband leaned over to kiss me on the cheek and looked at some other woman in the process! When I looked up at him (thinking 'Oh my husband is such a sweetheart :D' he wasn't even looking at me - his eyes were looking at someone else!) I got upset but when we got in the car I just told him, with a smile and a laugh, that it wasn't a very nice thing to do, and it wasn't respectable - no yelling, nothing like that! Well he completely denied doing anything, and ladies you know when they do that we just get more angry... So of course this ended in a full blown argument! We had driven separately so by the time we got home we were both calmed down and we just sat together and talked about it - he said he was sorry for turning his eyes elsewhere, but that I shouldn't try to control where he looks (not that I am trying to do that). And of course I apologized for getting too upset about this issue... Now I feel bad because the argument ruined a our beautiful day..
2007-10-15 03:05:34 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
So did I get upset for nothing... Was it even worth mentioning this...? Did I overreact?
Please correct me if I am wrong but I think most people consider it wrong for their spouse or even boyfriend/girlfriend to scope someone else out when they are with you?
It is hard for me to gauge my own reactions sometimes because I am a bit emotional... Also we are newlyweds and I am kind of thinking we are going through a transition, like finding a balance, learning our boundaries etc... Or maybe I am just a control freak?! What are your opinions?
2007-10-15 03:09:11 · update #1
u were rite dear!
2007-10-15 03:08:38 · answer #1 · answered by Oh My God! 6 · 1⤊ 5⤋
Well, it was kind of rude but you don't know what he was looking at. If it was a hot girl at the check out counter that's one thing, but if it was a special price on BBQ potato chips than who cares. A kiss is a kiss. Be glad your husband still thinks enough of you to give you little public displays of affection like that. A lot of marriages aren't so lucky. And... a kiss on the cheek should have different rules than a kiss on the mouth. When you kiss the cheek you can look around especially if there's a lot going on, but if its lip locking, those eyes best be closed or on you at all times! So, yeah, I think you blew up about nothing but what's done is done. Just remember this for the future and try not to ruin your days over something so insignificant. You can't always be right and what's going to be more important to you? Being right or having a nice day with your spouse?
2007-10-15 03:11:48 · answer #2 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm... Hard to say. You don't really specify how issue escalated. You initially handled it well and it shouldn't have become a problem. Of course he's going to deny it, he's a man. The question is, did he get upset for you accusing him of something (in his mind), or did you get upset for him denying it? After all, it was kind of a rude thing to do, but at the same time, there's no harm in looking. So if you were the one that got angry first, just because he denied it, which is exactly what you were expecting him to do anyway, then yeah, you got mad over nothing. But in the end it seems like you both handled it well, and got over it, which is a good thing, and something a LOT of couples wouldn't be able to do. Maybe it ruined your day, but at least it didn't continue on and ruin your whole week. Kudos for that. And good luck to you.
2007-10-15 03:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by ragdolltb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were reading way too much into his glance. Think about this for a moment. Both men and women are going to notice someone that is attractive. It doesn't matter if you are married or if you're single, we will notice attractive members of the opposite sex until we die --- that includes you as well. Accept it. The ways in which we notice is another matter. I don't remember her name, but a woman here on Yahoo Answers said it very well concerning men who check out other women. She said, "Most men glance at another woman in the same way they glance at a road sign --- they see it and continue on their way. Then there are men who take a hard up and down look with thought in their eyes." These are they guys you should be concerned about, and I'd bet that this sort wouldn't be kissing their wives while looking at someone else.
2007-10-15 03:22:10 · answer #4 · answered by mt75689 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard the saying "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the menu"? I'll be you sneak a peak at an attractive guy every now & then.
Did you overreact? Maybe. But you let things simmer down before it boiled over and you made up. Sounds like you handled it fine.
If this is the biggest problem in your marriage I'd say you'll have a long & happy one.
Good luck.
2007-10-15 03:17:44 · answer #5 · answered by Irish Sean 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the only thing I can say is that he is a man, and men will forever have wondering eyes.It wouldn't matter if you were the prettiest woman of all time,your man would still look at another woman.They are on a single track mind,so lighten up and just know that he is trying to be sweet, it's just that he can't help himself,but he did have good intentions!But don't take any serious offense to it,they are the less dominant species anymore,We are the dominant ones!!
2007-10-15 03:14:23 · answer #6 · answered by Britt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's over, let it go. Guys are typically more visual than women and so if something catches their eye, they're going to look. No big deal...let 'em look all they want, it's the touching that should be an issue...y'know?
It does sound like the situation got blown way out of proportion so be more aware in the future that this can happen, and don't let little things turn into something that ruins your whole day.
2007-10-15 03:10:19 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say it should not be a problem. it could have been that a movement caught his eye as he leaned in for the kiss. It is a normal reaction to track movement. It is un-conscious and he may not have realized he was doing it. Then again maybe he did. If he has never before (or since) given you a reason not to trust him, I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
2007-10-15 03:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by gamedic6304 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your reaction was normal. But at the same time his action was normal. Just realize that as long as you both understand what happened, why it happened, and how to correct it then you will be fine. It's unfortunate that this had to happen on your day together, but it is not the end of the world. Make sure you enjoy the next one you have!
2007-10-15 03:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say you got mad for nothing; if you felt hurt, that's something right there. At least you two were able to calm down and talk about it after the fact. That suggests that it didn't totally ruin your day. Be grateful that your relationship is available to communication and open to positive change. Go hug your hubby.
2007-10-15 03:12:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a way i think that you were on point for bringing it to his attention, but I don't think there should have been a full fledge argument about it. I think that argument more or less evolved when he lied about it, because you know you were looking right at him. So as far as the act, not a problem, but the lie, well that's not good...especially for newlyweds.
2007-10-15 03:15:24 · answer #11 · answered by goodgirlabout2gobad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋