Is time to go when you feel nothing at all ?

Question

My bf of 8 years accussed me of having sex with three men this weekend . We have been through so much but in the last week i told him that he had one more tim to mess with me and i would go emotionless and that notthing would matter anymore. Well he did it , I told him if he said it againr that i would do it and take pictures so he had proof instead og just accusing me all the time . Well i told him to leave yesterday but he just stayed . Now he wants to be all nice to me and i dont even want him to touch me. Am I wrong I dont feel anything at all for him anymore. My heart hurts because I know its ove im just not mad or sad or even anry anymore. Should i just leave and give him the house ? I have a 4 month old baby boy

he is 45 and i just turned 23 on the 1st

the attraction has been gone for years

Answer 1

Why stay in a relationship where there is no emotion? If you don't think things can be worked out, then part ways so you can each travel a more pleasant path...what you do about property or anything else, is between the two of you. Your priority should be to make sure your child is cared for properly.

Answer 2

That's a tough decision, but my advice would be that if this isn't the first time to either disscuse the problem with him (no matter how hard it is) or if you already have disscused it with him and it either did not help or he just got mad and emotional then I would leave and take a brake for a few days (maybe a week or 2) at a parent or friend's house. When you come back and nothing has changed I would leave.

If this is the first time this has happened thenwhat you should do is leave and take a break more a week or two. If you miss him then everything will be fine, and you two should go back to living together. If you don't miss him you might either want to extend the brake, take up marriage counciling, or leave the relationship.

If you stay with him you should see a therapist about once a month or whenever needed to help keep track of how the relationship is going. A friend or family member will work too.

Also you said you just had a child with him. He might be a little paraniod because he really doesn't want to end up like one of those train wrecked families. This could mean that he's afraid you'll leave him or he could just like the rush of excitement (he might be one of those guys who likes drama).

Answer 3

Love is about "feelings" in the beginning, then it's more about dogged determination than anything else. You threw down the gauntlet daring him to behave a certain way, and you threatened him with consequences (going emotionless) if he crossed this imaginary line you drew in the sand. He assumed you were bluffing and then crossed that line, so, true to your word, you went emotionally vacant on him. This covers the facts of what's happened, and this happens to many couples in the course of a relationship at about the point where it's happened to you two.
You know, accusing you of cheating is probably more indicative of his insecurities than anything else, and a sure sign that he lacks a certain maturity in dealing effectively with his core feelings. What he probably meant to say and couldn't find the words was: "We're so busy with our day-to-day routines and raising our child that I don't feel I get to connect with you much anymore...that scares me because I sometimes feel you slipping away..." That would've been easier to understand and accept than that s h i t he said, but I'll bet that's what he meant, nonetheless. You're at the point in a busy relationship where "routine" numbs you out to the emotional existence of your partner...a normal occurrence, but it's an occurrence that can have disastrous consequences to a couple, so it's not necessarily practical to let "feelings" (or the lack of them) be the sole barometer you use to make a decision on whether or not to remain a couple. (I say this because you would be at this point with anyone who was sharing the load you two are juggling right now....it's part of the cycle relationships take once family dynamics expand). So think carefully before you do something drastic. This cycle is scary for males and females, alike, and in the midst of that fear sometimes we say and do some pretty stupid things to mask the desperation we feel. (Pick anything your boyfriend has said recently and you'll have tangible proof of that fact.)
Let's look now at another set of facts, equally compelling: You have an 8 year history together (that's no small accomplishment; in fact, by all accounts that's a success story in the making); you have a 4 month old child together (a Godsend of a blessing, but enormously taxing in the amount of attention and work they require of both of you), and you've purchased a home together (evidence that you have confidence and trust in each other enough to attempt such a monumental endeavor). You two have history together, you have a child together, and you have joint property...these are tangible reflections of the love between you two...love that may lie dormant beneath the surface of your routines, but is likely alive and well all the same...just hurting a little bit. Think carefully about all of these things before you make any decisions. When families deteriorate all of you suffer, and sometimes people's malevolence and rigidity make that a necessary occurrence. Be damned sure this is one of those times. Love exists beyond the realm of mere feelings now...maybe it's time to dig in and hang on to preserve what you've built together. Good luck to you all in whatever you decide.

Answer 4

Well..in my opinion, this is his 4 mo. old baby as well and the babies needs should be met first and foremost. If you leave where will you take the baby and can you financially afford to go it alone? Is it cheaper to keep the house and make him pay part of the mortgage or rent for the baby's sake? I definately think if you feel that emotionless, then its probably over. have you tried counseling for the babies sake? You might want to do that first. But if that fails, then i think you need to make arrangements for what is best for you and the baby in all aspects. If you can honestly say you tried and have nothing to feel guilty for, then by all means, its time to end it.

Answer 5

Wow, he`s 45 and you`re 23??? Anyhow, if there are no feelings anymore, do what you feel is morally right for the whole family incuding your husband.... 8 years isn`t a short period of time, I would also think of getting therapy??? But i still can`t get over the age difference, he could be your father..Maybe that`s why there is a distaste in your mouth??

Answer 6

If you can tell someone that you were going to shut off your emotions, you are a liar and the truth ain't in you. Both of ya'll are crazy and toxic for each other and your baby. Grab a slice of sanity and move on. Not to another person, but to a place where you can develop some common sense; for your sake and your baby.

Answer 7

this is common . The vagina has no nerve endings interior and little or no at and around the hollow.that's why you cant sense a tampon after insertion.in the time of intercourse the guy is meant to rub and pound and caress the clitoris to sexually arouse his spouse. then returned to assert this. He could could desire to manually or orally stimulate you formerly intercourse and by using. purely so i've got not got one thousand human beings screaming i'm stupid there's a area reported as the g- spot that's in area the vagina in spite of the indisputable fact that it has no open nerve endings. solid luck and shop attempting.

Answer 8

Why is he accusing you of such a thing? If there is no basis for this behavior then I say you told him how you feel and he choose not to listen, time to leave. This is only the beginning, he will only get worse, who needs that?!

Answer 9

I thin k it is time for you to let go of your bf now. But whose house is it in the first place? If it is yours, then you should chase him out of the house and not give it to him

Answer 10

Drop him. Give him the house, what ever is his that you know of. Call a lawyer to get your child support.