Ok, my husband has this "friend" who I've never met. Before my husband and I got married he called this guy and asked him to come over so he could meet me. But this "friend" never returned the phone call. This was a long time ago. Now all of a sudden my husband accidentially forwarded an email to him, and all of a sudden this guy calls thinking nothing ever happened, with no explanation of anything and said they are going to get together to "hash things out"... what is there to hash out besides the fact he disrespected me and my husband and hasn't said a word in all this time? I'm mad as hell because my husband sucked right into it without even asking why he never called or never sent an email or nothing... I feel like my husband is getting used and that this person is not a true friend, but my husband doesn't want to think that. It was specifically said that "the wife" is NOT allowed to be around. Not a good way to make someone want to meet him in my book. What would u do or say now?
2007-10-15 02:01:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just so you know... He did get the message, it was left on his house phone and his cellphone voice mail. He was even called at his work and given the message. He was standing next to his boss (boss answered) but friend was busy checking in an inmate.
2007-10-15 02:02:06 · update #1
He doesn't have to like me. But he didn't return my husbands phone call in almost a year. It doesn't matter to me if he likes me or not, since he's done nothing but rub me the wrong way. My husband has no intention of hanging out with him for the simple fact he purposely ignored the fact he is married and that our family comes before he does. He was rude about me even being around him, fine but a phone call back to my husband would have been nice to say not interested. I'm sorry but I like to know who my husbands friends are and he likes to know mine. It's something I call a courtesy on both ends.. If people want their spouses going out with people they don't know thats on them, but we like to know who each other is going out with and where (god forbid something happens) Neither of us have a problem with that and it shows we care about each others happiness and think it's great that we can have a life outside of eachother, but we're not rude to ppl and go out of our way to include em.
2007-10-15 02:16:25 · update #2
I've gone months w/o talking to some of my friends as well. But this guy didn't return any phone calls or messages, and acts like nothing is wrong. My husband said friend is in wrong, and has no intent on being around him since I'm not invited because it's not fair that friends g/f or wife whatever she is is always there. So the guy is just being a rude moron. I'd like to say I was over reacting but when my husband says I'm not and feels the same way as I do, it's easy to see I'm not. It would be different if hubby and I were just dating for like a week or something, but being married and having kids and friend still wants nothing to do with any part of my husbands life except him? No, I'm sorry but if you cant accept someones family, then you don't accept them anymore. Oh, and no, lol...nothing going on with them. I wish it were that simple hehe.
2007-10-15 02:22:52 · update #3
For those of you who come into questions and put thumb downs on everyones answers... please grow up!!
2007-10-15 02:24:51 · update #4
Firstly disciple.. I don't live in a trailer. I have a house and 2 cars bought and paid for, not that it's any of your business. And I can ask as many times as I'd like..but since I'm in a good mood I'll humor you...I asked again because I like different perspectives from alot of people and so far you're the only one who likes to insult people so maybe you should take the other persons' advice and find something constructive to do... your insults don't bother me. I guess that's because I'm an adult and much more mature.Maybe I like to have more than one sided answers than to just take the first one that agrees or disagrees. So thanks for your input. I'll take it to heart when I'm taking out the trash. Have a nice day now.
2007-10-15 02:47:49 · update #5
Seems you and hubby have already decided on how to handle this matter. Who knows why people ignore you or don't return messages. My husbands brother stopped talking to him or returning his or my calls for over 5 years. When hubby had to get an operation, though, this same brother dropped everything, traveled over 2000 miles to be at his bedside. Never a word about the whys or reasons he ignored him. They are now very close again and happy.
I do think this friend of your husbands should want to meet you and get to know you, as you are an important part of his life now. If he is a friend, he will see your husband again, under your husbands terms, not his.
2007-10-15 02:31:51 · answer #1 · answered by pussycat 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Well, I don't think it's right that his g/f or wife can be around and you cant. That would raise a red flag to me as well. I think you are right in being ticked off about the whole situation but remember your husband agrees with you. So don't worry about the so called friend who obviously isn't one anyhow. He's probably jealous that your husband is no longer single or that you have a family now. It was the so called friends choice to not return the phone call or messages, that is his problem. Let him come to you guys if he wants to all of a sudden be around, me personally, I wouldn't even answer the phone. It's a 2 way street, and he's trying to make it his way or none at all. My husband and I both know who all of each others friends are and I agree that it builds a stronger sense of trust as well.
2007-10-15 03:00:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 4⤋
Quite a mess. Listen seriously speaking, your husband said he agrees with you. That should be enough. If this guy was a true friend he would be happy that your husband is now happy. What ever the circumstances it was rude for him to say that you weren't allowed if his wife is allowed. But let him say what he wants, like I said your husband agrees with you. Change your phone number if you don't want him calling anymore. If he wants to be friends with you husband he does have to accept that he is married. It doesn't mean you're going to be invited everywhere and to everything, which I don't think you'd want that anyhow, but I do understand that it would be nice to at least know this person with him being a friend of your husbands.
2007-10-15 03:15:08 · answer #3 · answered by Highway M 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Let your husband be a man and decide for himself. Why do you feel the need to be in the middle of this when you say you don't care one way or another? Stay out of it and let your husband deal with his friend. Find something constructive to keep you busy.
2007-10-15 02:28:09 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is weird.....were they having a thing? I don't usually answer questions by thinking of the weirdest thing I can think of......this is what came to my mind though. Why else would this man (his friend) be acting like a caddy woman?
2007-10-15 02:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
my friends and i can go months, sometimes longer without communication, then when we do it is like nothing happened. probably because nothing happened, people just get busy with life. true friends dont make a big deal about it. i think you are way over reacting and probably wont be invited the next time either if you dont lighten up.
i still think your over reacting.
2007-10-15 02:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by nodumgys 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Hmmm, i would say "you seem to be acting awfully manic about an issue that you claim is already resolved. I believe theres medication for this sort of thing".
2007-10-15 02:56:10 · answer #7 · answered by the evil1 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Your husband's friend may not want to be friends with you....and he doesn't have to be. I don't think that's disrespectful....that's his choice.
If your husband keeps this guy as a friend and it doesn't infringe on your marriage I don't see the problem.
My husband has golf friends I have never met.....and I don't really want to met them.....they're his friends.
2007-10-15 02:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
another heart warming tale from the trailer park....it's really not that big of a deal.
2007-10-15 02:29:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 2⤋