What would you do? Continue pregnancy or abort?

Question

My wife and I just found out she is about 10-12 weeks pregnant, however the baby is not in her uterus it is in her abdominal cavity. Apparently the placenta is attached to vital organs. The Dr said there is no chance she could carry the baby full term, about 30% to carry long enough that the baby may survive with help from NICU, and 70% chance my wife could die trying to carry the baby. Her liver and kidney could fail. We have 4 other children between 1 and 12. She thinks abortion is wrong regardless(I always thought so too). I now think we should end this pregnancy before it ends my wifes life and takes my childrens mother from them. She thinks she got pregnant for a reason(she had a tubal after our last child was born) and every child has the right to be born. She won't even really talk to me about it any more. She also hasn't talked to any family members. What would you do? Any suggestions on how to get my wife to see my point or am I wrong and not considering her. HELP

Answer 1

Take time to research, seek out second opinion, look for a specialist in your area. After all info is gathered TALK to each other and make a decision together. Keep in mind her hormones and attachment to this baby even if it isn't born yet your wife loves the baby strongly and this is going to be one of the hardest decision you will ever have to face. Stay strong and listen to your wife's feelings and try to help when you can. Best of wishes for your family.

Answer 2

I would take her back to the doctor to discuss this,you already have 4 children,she should be happy with that,and she can always try to have another baby in the future,also if her organs fail how is she going to have the strength to look after a new born baby that may not come out too healthy anyway? Your wife needs to see the sensible side to this,unfortunately no-one can make this decision except herself,as she is the one carrying,it's her body & up to her,i just hope you are able to convince her to see the sensible side for her health's sake and for the happiness of her children she is lucky to have.

Answer 3

I agree that for the sake of her health and for your other children, this would be a case where termination may be your best option. I would be afraid of leaving my children without a mother. I doubt that your wife is overlooking that point. She is probably terrified and confused. I hope that you have seen a specialist in high-risk pregnancies. They would be able to give you all the information you need. I am sure if she continues the pregnancy, she will be monitored closely. I just don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. I wish you the very best and hope that things work out one way or another.

Answer 4

I would tell her that not only if she dies she would ruin your life and your children's, the baby would most likely die if she died as well. Tell her that you think its great that she wants to have the baby but the her main job is a parent and to die and leave her children would ruin their lives. So does she really want to risk 6 peoples lives? In the end, if she believes in God and that's the reason she does not want to give the baby up, God would probably want her to be healthy. You also need to confront her and say "This is my baby too, I know this is a hard subject but we need to talk about it." I really think she should get an abortion, because this pregnancy is not safe for either parties. What she could do instead is adopt another kid, that way she is changing someones life in a safe way.

Hope I helped.

Answer 5

well i'm not a doctor of any kind but i do remember reading on the internet where a woman had this same thing happen to her but her doctor was able to transplant the fetus into th uerus with successful plantation and she carried the baby to term.
Your wife is putting her life at risk and maybe if she hasn't talked to any family members maybe you should talk to them and hopefully they can talk to her. I am 100% against abortion myself but in this case if i knew it would put my own health at risk i would terminate and try again.
Maybe get your other children to write her a letter about how much they love her, stuff like that it may help you when talking to her about this issue.
Keep in mind that her hormones are still out of whack, something like this could cause her to go into a deep depression. Talk to your docotr and have him/her explain to your wife the risks involved and if she still refuses a doctor can have your wife admitted to the hospital under the mental health act or equivalent where you are and perform the surgery, hopefully it doesn't come to that.
Support your wife 100%.

Answer 6

My gosh. Firstly I am very sorry to hear about this but I don't think anyone else can make that decision. I also think abortion is wrong, however this is not the same. I don't think you will be able to change her mind however irrational it seems. I'm sorry I can't be much more of a help but all I can say is be there for your wife and support her, this baby is inside her and she feels it's her duty to take care of it...just like any of your other 4 children. I hope everything turns out ok for you all!

Answer 7

Your wife sounds like she is in denial about her and the baby's condition. I imagine she will begin to get a handle on things and begin to deal with the situation soon. A decision should then follow.
Honestly, I don't know what I would do in her shoes. She is not ready to make a choice yet, so my advice is to love her more than you ever have before. Don't pressure her about this. Let her mind and heart accept the situation. When that happens, she will want your support and counsel, and I can tell that you will be there to give it.
Hang on to each other. You are no doubt in for some rough times. Love, patience and the support of your families will get you through it.

Answer 8

this could be an incredibly tense determination inspite of what your perspectives on abortion could be. i could clarify to her that it is not a 'conceivable' fetus because it is not interior the womb and has little threat of survival. tell her she has 4 healthful toddlers she should be thinking approximately, and that by employing delaying the inevitable she is putting her existence in threat. does not she choose to be around to advance the youngsters she already has? Gotta pull the Mommy card dh, in hassle-free terms thank you to flow right here i'm afraid. My condolences on your loss, the soreness and rigidity from this could pass finally. interior the intervening time, attempt assorted lively listening, regardless of in case you do no longer agree together with her. remember how her hormones have been with the different pregnancies? This time is not any distinctive, regardless of if the fetus isn't interior the womb, her hormones are nonetheless going to 'act' pregnant. Her thoughts are in a rigidity cooker, and you do no longer choose to push the incorrect way. Strongly urge her to have extensive discussions together with her well being care provider concerning this. the faster she includes words with this, the extra useful for the entire family contributors.

Answer 9

sorry to hear this, i dont think nobody or myself could give u the correct advice. i would do some more research on ur own to see how many females had the baby with that situation and lived. key word "lived". that is a serious condition she has and many dr.s would prefer her to have an abortion for her safety. but i like u are against abortion and this is a hard decision to make. why dont u two seek guidance from your personal savior and pray for ur answer. it could also help to talk to a counselor at the hospital or ur pastor.

Answer 10

sorry to hear abt the case...i think you must take her to the doctor who can tell you about all the pros and cons of the situation, as far as i know, negatives are more than positives in this case.
ask her if she feels the kid should live without a mom...it makes a hell lot of difference to a kids psyche...
Also, there could be some danger to the health of kid too which should not be overlooked...
its very diffciiult for a woman to abort...she may get into depression n all...but ask her to see reason in this case...
decison is all urs...take help from her parents whom she can trust more than anyone else...thats after you ofcourse...they will certainly help you both to take a decision...

Good luck!