Raging hormones at 13?

Question

My friend has this wierd problem and she has written an email to me. What should I tell her?

She is 16, living in a 2 bedroom apt with her mother, father & brother. Her brother is 13. She shares the other bedroom with her brother. She hasnt finished school and cant move out.
Her brother mostly stays at home in his shorts and doesnt wear underwear under that. He says that he feels very uncomfortable wearing underwear. This has led to 2-3 very embarassing situations for my friend. Sometimes, he gets erections...and has to walk out of the room covering it with tshirt/hand.

Specially when he gets up, he always has a erection. Its very embarassing for her.

Many times she has caught him staring at her cleavage/a*ss/undies if she bends down or something.

She feels if he is getting erections, he may be thinking sexual thoughts or may be 'looking' at her?

Her mom feels that he is just 'growing up' and 'its just hormones' and feels she is 'worried over nothing'. Help?

Answer 1

Does your friend live in the uk?..if so, then she should contact social services...It is unhealthy to sleep in the same room as her brother and can lead to nastiness...It sounds that her brother is finding it difficult to control his urges and thoughts and that can grt out of control..Her mother is either ingnorant or stupid to think it's ok for her son to act in an appropriate way..

Answer 2

Mom is being extremely naive if she thinks her son can't be having sexual thoughts about his sister. Usually it doesn't happen but obviously sometimes it does, particularly under those very conditions. Your friend needs to understand that her brother really can't control his thoughts, his curiosity, or his erections, just what he does about them. As long as she doesn't get turned on by him, too, nothing is going to happen, so there's nothing to worry about, no matter how uncomfortable seeing her little brother sexually aroused may be for her. Probably the more often the brother can masturbate, like 2-3 times a day if necessary, the less often his hormones will be a problem for either of them. Meanwhile, I assume she's being careful not to encourage his curiosity.

Answer 3

At that age children really should have some form of separate space, with a physical barrier. Have her look into setting anything up, even as simple as a thick curtain across the room so it can become two rooms for her. She shouldn't have started puberty sharing a room with a boy and he should be talked to about wearing underwear to better hide his erection, by his parents.

Answer 4

At 13 most boys have an erection almost constantly. It makes them 1/2 out of their minds for a few years.

If she can't move to another room, hang a few sheets as a curtain across half of their room so they can both have some privacy. That will help both of their embarrassment over his little "problem."

Answer 5

I could understand if they were not over 5. But they are to old to be sharing a bedroom. They both need their own personal rooms and space. Girls need as much privacy as boys do and should have their own rooms by the time they are at the most 5 years old. When she turned 5 she sould have no longer had to share a room with her brother. And it is common place for boys to have this problem first thing in the morning. Which really she or you neither should have had to know this if it weren't for her having to be exposed to it day in and day out.(because you both are to young to have to know this). They need to talk their parents into a place where they can each have their own space or try putting a wall up between them to divide the room they already have. At this age her brother is not checking her out thinking bad thoughts (i hope but after sharing a room together so long who knows)other than that he is trying to satisfy is curiousity of what a girls body looks like without clothing.(i hope) And that is typical teenage male hormones and curiousity. I have 3 teenagers 2 boys an1 girl and they have always had their own rooms. As far as him not wearing underwear his parents should make him wear boxers especially with sharing a room. And having to wear shorts or sweat pants to sleep in at night. That is not fair to their daughter to expose her to this and allow their son to go around in such nakedness. Boys should never go around their sistes even in just boxer shorts either. As well as girls should not expose themselves in their underclothes in front of their brother or dad after age 5 neither should a boy expose themselves to sisters or mom. If her parents won't see sense in this maybe they need some intervention to help them.( such as social services). For sure put up a temporary wall between the boths personal spaces, in their room until they can find a permanant solution to this problem. Good luck, best wishes.

Answer 6

If having her own space would help she can ask her mom to put up a temporary partition between her side of the room and her little brother. I might suggest also his dad telling him wearing undies while not comfortable for him it's necessary to do and he will do it. That should help give her privacy

Answer 7

This is the common problem. Parents doesn't understand that(r don't accept that) Their children are grown up. This is pretty vibrant age. Better they both should have their own private space. Otherwise it will be embarrasing for both.

Tell her to convince her parents and get separate room or space whatever.

Boys are quite careless about it. But girls are quite sensitive to these kind of issues. It's right time take action.

Answer 8

Your friend should not have to share a bedroom with her brother she needs privacy. It sounds like my worst nightmare & i feel really sorry for her. Her mother & father sound as though they have a problem. "just growing up" & "just hormones" are no excuse for your friend to be in that terrible situation.

Answer 9

the son needs a talking 2

Answer 10

I'm pretty sure that its illegal for two siblings your age and the opposite dex to be sharing a bedroom. If C.A.S. knew about they would make your parents move to a 3 bedroom unit.