Hi im 25.My mom has cancer.Everyones depressed at home.Dads also depressed.But im beginning to note a change in him.He has talked to my mom's sis about his personal life.He has told his personal life was bad and he din have sex for almost 10yrs.I don knw y he talked like that.He is very good and nice.But in his irritation he shouts at home.My aunt got depressed on hearing this.Shes also married and has a kid.Because of this suddenly a black cloud has fallen on our family.Is it because hes depressed that my mom's life is gona end? is he doin it out of his frustration?He doesn realise what hes saying sometimes.Im very confused.I myself have been betrayed by my lover who thinks only sex and money is life.So im beginning to hate marriage,and for that guys as a whole.Im beginning to hate sex and male affection.Can anyone tell me what the purpose of marriage?afterall is it only for sex?so if sex is not possible will men change?
2007-10-14 19:20:53 · 3 answers · asked by strong 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Can't speak for your dad; sorry about your mom.
Marriage is not only for sex, but sex is an important aspect of it. You seem to not have good role models for the relationship, but it is possible to find a guy who respects AND loves you, AND wants to have sex with you. He wants to be your friend and lover. Don't despair. If that's what you really want in life--to get married--there are good guys out there. Just look in the right places, i.e. not bars or other pickup joints, but maybe work, school, church, youth groups, family friends, etc.
2007-10-14 19:34:05 · answer #1 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently you have never been married, cause it isnt for the sex haha!
Your dad is so scared! He is about to lose his life partner and he doesnt know how to deal with it! Some people show it by crying, or making jokes, your dad just deals with it by anger. Maybe deep inside, he thinks that if he can talk to anyone, not nessisarily your mom's sister and tell them stories about how bad their marriage has been, it will keep it in his mind on all the bad parts and make him stop loving her. Its alot easier to have someone you dont love die than someone that means the world to you! This is something that you can't really understand until you personally go through it yourself. It doesnt make sense to you that he would want to stop loving your mom, but it makes perfect sense to him, if he doesn't love her then it wont absolutly crush him when she does pass away! The sad part is, he isnt going to stop loving her. Not that easily. I truely believe from your story that is what is going on. Don't forget your dad has been with your mom longer than you have... it makes it even harder on him. Maybe instead of persicuting your dad and damning him, he needs to know that its ok and that you kids are there for him too. The only thing harder than losing a child would be losing your spouse.
As far as you being betrayed... there are a few good ones left out there. And if you havent found him yet, just keep waiting, your prince charming will show up eventually. Its just not in the big plan right yet. And you will know, and you will want to spend the rest of your life with that man. Marriage isnt about sex, money, kids, or a life. It is about 2 people that want to be joined together for eternal life in gods eyes. Its just a piece of paper! Its just a formal way to let everyone know that 2 lives are joined into one! Im praying for your mom and family!
2007-10-15 02:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy to 1+triplets 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex isnt evrything in a marrage your talking about a person who is about to loose a specal person in there life that.s fact. my opion/
2007-10-15 03:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋