what should i do .. yes child support or no child support ?

Question

need help what to do ...

im married and my husband don't know that it not his baby since i was sepeated with him for while and we went back together cuz he think it his baby and i didn't want to leave my husband cuz i love my husband so much to death and we been together thought my preg and he went to hopital with me and he notice that my baby is " dark " skin we are light skin and he didn't say anything but he love my daug very much and we had son he is 4 months

the thing is that i want to get my ex guy to pay child support and my baby got my last name not my ex last name and i don't know if i should get that guy to pay child support and if i do my husband will leave me for lieing to him that is not his baby .....and also my ex baby father don't want to pay child support and he has 2 other kids and didn't know he had ohter kids so he don't want to pay child support and he dont want anything to do with my daug .... he think he can get away with anything ....

what should do

SOME ONE WROTE THIS TO ME SAYING ...

Is your husband's name on the birth certificate? If so, there is nothing you can do about child support--the child is legally his. Also, if you are married to someone else, there is almost no chance of you getting child support in the first place!!!

Just let it go. It will undoubtedly cause more problems for you and your husband to pursue the ex for anything, especially money. Your husband wants to believe your daughter is his (even though he knows she isn't), so let him!!!

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MY QUESTION TO THIS IF I LET IT BE AND MY EX KNOW HE IS NOT PAYING CHILD SUPPORT AND IF HE DECIDED HE WANT TO BE PART OF MY CHILD LIFE ... CAN HE TAKE AWAY MY CHILD ???

Answer 1

In my opinion and from my experience from married life it is best to honest with your husband about everything.
Yes you run the chance of him wanting to leave you but in the long run of things this will all come out one way or another.
What is hidden in the dark or secret will always come out so it is my suggestion to get clean before your husband AND CONTINUELY REMIND HIM that you love him and had to get this out so there are no secrets between the two of you.
After he gets over the shock of it all he will have more respect for you and it can bring you both closer together.

You can get child support and a dna test will have to be taken by the courts or child support enforcement.

Answer 2

If you pursue child support you are going to have to bring a paternity case to prove this guy is the father because the presumption is that your husband is the father. How long after the child's birth you can do this varies from state to state. But if you don't want your husband to know, then collecting child support is a bad idea. He will obviously know about it if you do that. I suspect he already knows since you cannot have a dark colored child when both parents have light skin, it just isn't possible.

But that is a decision you have to make. Maybe your husband won't leave you, but he will find out if you go after the ex. How would he not? Court proceedings are a public record.

And yes, your ex can file a paternity case and try to get custody and have you pay child support. That doesn't mean he'd succeed, but he could try.

Answer 3

I don't know. That was kind of confusing. But from what i got you cheated on your husband got pregnant, your husband thinks the baby is his but you want the father to pay child support? If your married the baby has your husband's last name, right? If your husband is on the birth certificate i think your going to have a hard time getting child support out of this other guy..for one in the eyes of the court your husband would be that child's dad not the other guy. Also what if you tell your husband and then he disowns the baby; the other guy isn't going to want to step up and be a dad, so basically by telling your screwing your child out of a father. Good Job. If thats what you want then do it, if not then don't. The only one this is going to hurt is your daughter and husband..not you nor the other guy. Personally i hope your daughter's emotional wellbeing is more important to you then extra cash each month.

Answer 4

Everything about this is pitiful, including but not limited to the spelling and grammar. Maybe you should a decision before you spread your legs for someone other than your husband, separated or not. If you want your husband to know that this child is not his, that you were sleeping around while you were separated, and for him to possibly disown her, then, sure, go to court, insist on child support from your "ex guy" ("one night stand because I was horny" is more accurate.) and let it all come out in public and humiliate your husband. If you'd rather continue to keep the family together and have your husband think she's his and have her think your husband is her father, then struggle like the rest of us do to care for your family. Does it matter to you to ruin a couple of lives so much to prove to your husband that you CAN get away with somethin'?

Answer 5

If you are married, then there is a legal presumption that any child born to you during that marriage is that of your husband. Plus, you said you gave the baby your last name on the birth certificate.

Every state's laws are different, but generally speaking in order to even be able to take your ex to court to try to get child support from him you would have to first go to court to rebut the presumption that the child belongs to your husband and get a paternity test to prove that your ex is really the baby's father (if he is.) Once this is proven, based on his income, he will be required to pay child support. (FYI- the less money your ex makes can affect the state reccomended guidelines on what he pay for support of the child.)

I hate to say it, but my gut reaction is to just let sleeping dogs lie. Your husband seems happy to be the father to your children and support them. You ex seems happy to have "gotten off the hook" and is not pursuing a relationship with the child. You seem to feel confident that you love your husband, don't want him to leave you, and are certain he loves your children even if he may or may not suspect they are not biologically his because of their skin color. Pursuing child support seems to just be opening up a whole other can of worms.

Answer 6

Is your husband's name on the birth certificate? If so, there is nothing you can do about child support--the child is legally his. Also, if you are married to someone else, there is almost no chance of you getting child support in the first place!!!

Just let it go. It will undoubtedly cause more problems for you and your husband to pursue the ex for anything, especially money. Your husband wants to believe your daughter is his (even though he knows she isn't), so let him!!!

Answer 7

Good heavens - I can't imagine where your brain is. That you would think of asking for child support from someone who doesn't want to pay child support and, probably, can't afford it is --, stupid. The honest and, morally, correct thing to do is tell your husband the truth unless you wish to take the chance that he will find out from someone else. If he does learn the truth from another person then, to him, you are not only guilty of becoming pregnant by another man but you are, also, guilty of being deceitful. As he loves this baby, he deserves to be told the truth and it is 100% selfish of you to think, only, of yourself - what makes your wants and feelings more important than his? There is a penalty to be paid, for having sex outside of your marriage - the day will come when you will have to pay for this, in one way or another, and it is wisest to get this behind you. It's better to suffer pain, now, than always be afraid of "discovery" - don't you think so?

Answer 8

Well legally your husband is the baby's father cause u are married and he assumes that the child is his and you have led him to beleive that. It is best that you not seek support unless you are willing to deal with one hell of a legal mess. I feel sorry for your husband and the fact that you could not be truthful with him in the first place and at least have given him a chance. Good luck.

Answer 9

First of all, you must allow your husband realize the reality. The reality will undoubtedly harm him BUT you can not threat him deciding the reality in an extra approach (or from an individual else - considering this may increasingly motive larger harm). Its both you inform him now or lengthen the "lifetime of deception". I am definite your husband will forgive you (in due time) in the event you guarantee him of your love and causes for hiding the reality from him. I do not suppose your marriage will final if you're now not each sincere to at least one an extra esp. now that you've got an extra youngster - the extra purpose you have got to inform your husband the reality. He has the correct to understand. Besides he was once first rate adequate to not ask so I am definite - he's going to appreciate you. Just be able for the penalties. I wish and pray you and your husband can transfer on from this hindrance even for the sake of the kids. As on your ex - occasions are difficult and I think he must even be liable in assisting his little one. Although from authorized factor of view (because the little one isn't wearing his surname) - make precise you'll be able to justify your declare that he's the truly father of your 1st born. Expect that he would possibly deny this in the beginning BUT in case you have adequate evidences - then provide an explanation for to him your facet. Assure your ex that nobody goes to advantage his fiscal help besides his little one. Good good fortune!

Answer 10

Oh, brother. This is the mess you get into when you sleep around. You need to get a paternity test. That is the only way to know for sure who this poor baby's father is. Don't try to stick someone with child support unless you know for sure. And try being faithful from now on.