need help what to do ...
im married and my husband don't know that it not his baby since i was sepeated with him for while and we been together thought my preg and he went to hopital with me and he notice that my baby is " dark " skin we are light skin and he didn't say anything but he love my daug very much ...
the thing is that i want to get my ex guy to pay child support and my baby got my last name not my ex last name and i don't know if i should get that guy to pay child support and if i do my husband will leave me for lieing to him that is not his baby .....
what should i do ????
i love my hudband so much and we do have 4 month baby .
2007-10-14 18:13:07 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE ... NO IT NOT ABOUT MONEY .... JUST NEED EVERYONE ADVICE FOR MY CHILD LIFE AND I FEEL MUCH BETTER !
2007-10-14 18:52:51 · update #1
dna test
2007-10-14 18:18:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a question.........why are you doing this now? You can bet the ex will probably want a test to confirm that the child is indeed his. It is unclear as to when you conceived...while you were separated? You can probably bet that your husband has already wondered since you say the baby is dark. If you love your husband sooooo much and he loves your daughter, why do you want to ruin everything for child support? You are thinking of creating a whole lot of heartache and for what....money?? If you prove the other guy is the father and get child support, then he is entitled to visitation, etc. Believe me.....it almost always creates hardship when dealing with blended families. Personally, I would let it be and love each other and keep your family together.
2007-10-15 01:29:26 · answer #2 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to let your husband know the truth. The truth will surely hurt him BUT you cannot risk him finding out the truth in another way (or from somebody else - because this will cause bigger damage). Its either you tell him now or prolong the "life of deception". I am sure your husband will forgive you (in due time) if you assure him of your love and reasons for hiding the truth from him. I don't think your marriage will last if you are not both honest to one another esp. now that you have another baby - the more reason you have to tell your husband the truth. He has the right to know. Besides he was decent enough not to ask so I am sure - he will understand you. Just be ready for the consequences. I hope and pray you and your husband can move on from this predicament even for the sake of the children.
As for your ex - times are hard and I believe he should also be responsible in supporting his child. Although from legal point of view (since the child is not carrying his surname) - make certain you can justify your claim that he is the real father of your 1st born. Expect that he may deny this at first BUT if you have enough evidences - then explain to him your side. Assure your ex that no one is going to benefit his financial aid except his child.
Good luck!
2007-10-15 01:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by addicted too 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The biological father of the child is not, (strange as it seems) responsible for child support. The guy who assumes the parenting role pays the child support. In any case, the law assumes that the husband of the mother is the father of the child.
You would sure be kicking up a hornets' nest if you told your husband that he is not the father of the child! For no good reason, I might add.
I don't uusally give advice, but this time I will.
Any expert will tell you that if you have had an affair, DO NOT tell your spouse. All you're doing is getting rid of your own guilt, at the expense of an innocent person.
For the sake of your child, your husband (who sounds like a decent guy), and the child DO NOT tell your husband about the biological father and DO NOT pursure child support.
2007-10-15 01:27:06 · answer #4 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to own up to the fact this is not his baby! He probably has a good idea if he can do simple math and has already noticed a difference in skin tone.
If he loves you and already loves her, he may just be willing to stay in the relationship.
If your husband is supporting your daughter, than why do you need child support from her biological father? Is it the money?
Tell the truth and live with the consequences.
2007-10-15 01:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he has acted as the child's father then he is the child's father, biological or not. He should pay support. However I suggest you talk to a lawyer. There are online sites where you can ask legal questions and have them answered by a professional. This is years of income for your child so you need professional legal advice.
2007-10-15 02:01:59 · answer #6 · answered by Ellen L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you must tell the fathers child just incase your child needs medical help bone marrow e.t.c and only the next of kin can help its best to come clean if you husband leaves you. You must be ready for this but if you 2 were seperated then it really shouldnt be a problem but him trusting you will become an issue so its upto you good luck
2007-10-15 04:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by sexiebum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to your states family services, child support enforcement or petition the courts for child support. If your babies father protests they will make him and your husband take a DNA test.
Once it is determined that your ex IS the babies father then you can enforce child support.
You can call child support enforcement or child welfare or human services in your state and asked them how to get this going.
I can promise you this the truth will come out concerning who is the real father if not know but in years to come.
Best Wishes to you and your child.
2007-10-16 17:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by BeautyQueen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first have an open talk with your husband. its obvious that he knows or suspects that something is up. then get a DNA test. just because ur baby is darker than both of you doesnt mean that its not his. its all about genetics. then if its not your husbands change ur daughters father on her birth certificate and go after child support.
2007-10-15 01:49:04 · answer #9 · answered by MG 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before worrying about child support, you need to deal with the issue of paternity.
Get a blood test and find out who the child's father is before years and years go by. It's not fair to your husband or your daughter if you don't.
2007-10-15 01:25:13 · answer #10 · answered by Bean 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What a greedy Biatch you are you got a man that is taking the responsibility as the father and yet you want to get money from the babies real father.... so on top of everything else you are also a liar... go after the real Daddy for support and tell your husband the truth
2007-10-15 01:23:01 · answer #11 · answered by DavidV 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋