My husband and I have been married for a little over a year and the whole time it has been a constant battle with him and porn. He prefers porn over me and it is completely tearing me apart emotionally. I don't know what to do anymore I feel so betrayed and worthless. We had a HUGE fight the other day and I almost left him and once again he promised he would quit and the next morning he was up masturbating to it again. He thinks I don't know half the time but I do, so I guess he thinks it's ok. I try coming on to him all the time and 99 times out of 100 he flat out turns me down. He has said once before that he is "ashamed of himself" because he doesn't last very long but I think that is just a good excuse. I have tried telling him how I feel a million times and he doesn't seem to get it. I have mentioned marriage counseling and he makes up a zillion excuses why he cant. I just don't see how any man could treat the woman they supposedly love this way. I am so torn up inside.
2007-10-14 17:50:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok he uses the internet on his phone to look at the porn (he has a pda phone) and no i didnt know about his addiction until we were married otherwise i would NOT have married him!
2007-10-17 15:09:33 · update #1
The fact he doesnt last long when he is intimate with you is a result of him masturbating to much , the sperm doesnt have enough time to build up in the sack and and this causes the penis itself to not be able to be stimulated by anything other then the hand.Or so specialists would have us believe.
Your husband's issue is far deeper then pornography , he is missing something emotionally or physically , get him onto some vitamins and some wyld for men or anything with horny goat weed in it.
And cut your internet connection for 6 months even if he needs to use the computer for work or you do cut it , otherwise your heading for divorce.If he truely loved you porn wouldnt need to be watched every day and masturbation wouldnt need to be done either.
Its time people really looked for the deeper problems in their marriages that are far more important then the topic of porn which gets the blame every time.If he isnt making love to you then either 1 of you arent or both of you arent putting enough time and effort into the relationship to entice either 1 of you to give and take on the sex issue.
Good luck.
2007-10-14 19:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 4⤊ 6⤋
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2016-07-25 17:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A male counselor sounds like a good start. This is a form of cheating- he's married and he needs to choose his wife. It really doesn't have a place in a marriage- at least not open of other women (he can keep pictures of you though!)
2014-10-25 22:23:28 · answer #3 · answered by clippy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say you're not alone, my friend does the same thing only he does show me affection but doing sex he can lose erection. If he doesn't admit he has a problem and willing to do something about, you're fighting a loosing battle. Why did he marry you is the question you need to ask him, don't be harsh, being alone is no fun, can't speak for him. Have anything change about you to make him reject you. Once you no for sure it is not you set up an appointment at a family counselor for the two of you,maybe he is to embarrassed to go by himself or tell someone you could make it easy, if necessary go to the first by yourself this will help you if nothing else. You are married and have a better upper hand than I. I would trick or lie to get him there surely he has told you a few and has played trick with your emotions. Surely you love him cause you married him either stick with or get out. If it comes down to you cheating get out don't condemn yourself.
2007-10-14 19:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by deneansmith@att.net 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes, he's ashame. No, he don't want to do that. He's adicted, just like any addiction. Take him to a psychiatrist to sort out that problem. Sure it's hard on you, don't go feel diminished for that, it's not about you at all. He's sick, just like a gambler who spend more money than possible. He don't think it's ok, he cn't stop. He's sick, he don't prefer porn over you, it has nothing with you or by comparaison, don't feel betrayed or worthless, you still are the same person, IT'S HIM WITH A SERIOUS PROBLEM. Realize that, go to a psy! Good luck!
2007-10-14 18:02:37 · answer #5 · answered by kayneriend 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can. While I wasn't quite that bad, I went through that myself with my first wife. I did quit a few months after my ex confronted me over it, but it eventually cost us what was otherwise a good marraige. I know that cycle very well. You get bored and depressed, so you turn to porn to medicate you. Then you realize what youve done and it makes you feel worse. So you go back to it again and agian. Show him this note. He can CALL me if you or he wants to. I have been down that hellish road, and if I can come back, anyone can. Tell him I said that porn won't hold him when he crashes. It's not goingto stand by his side and it won't love him. Get a MAN (I seriously volunteer here) to begin talking to him about whats at stake and more importantly what he can gain!
You are so awesome to stay with him through this, God bless your forgiving heart. Pray for him, I will too.
2007-10-14 18:06:10 · answer #6 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 11⤊ 0⤋
If i knew your husband i could call social centers on him, basically because of the fact a new child is two does not propose they are in a position to't word some thing and learn from it, actually your new child is probable going to start repeating the habit he sees as a results of his age, it quite is how he/she learns
2016-10-09 06:11:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i knew your husband i would name social offerings on him, just considering a kid is 2 does not imply they cannot become aware of whatever and learn from it, correctly your child is generally going to repeating the conduct he sees because of his age, that's how he/she learns
2016-08-05 21:13:33 · answer #8 · answered by pounds 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm also addicted to masturbating to porn on line (7-10 times a week), but I have NEVER once turned my wife down. I actually think it helps me last longer when we do have sex (1-2 times a week).
2007-10-21 17:14:04 · answer #9 · answered by Kingler 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
You have been married for only a year and you are now having these problems?
Your marriage is over, at best you may find a temporary fix, but your marriage will inevitably fail.
You never should have married him.
It's time for you to move on, make a new life for yourself. The longer you stay, the more hurt you will feel and the more regrets you will have.
2007-10-14 18:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Infernal Disaster 7 · 9⤊ 3⤋