OK, specifically, he won't touch my vagina! When we have sex, he occasionally gropes my breasts, but he doesn't go anywhere else and he doesn't even kiss me! I try to spice things up in our sex life (toys, porn, new moves) but he always says "I'm not interested". It's been this way for about 7 of the 9 years we've been together and it really makes me feel like crap. I never said anything to him because first I thought it was a lazy phase, then I didn't want to pressure him. Finally, 8 months ago I had enough so I asked him why and he got extremely angry and defensive, said he "didn't know" why he won't touch it, he "just doesn't feel like it"! We didn't talk for 3 weeks after that. I told him he has 6 months to work it out or I'm leaving due to my self esteem is down the toilet. Well that 6 months has come and gone and he didn't even try to touch me once. But I am 7 months pregnant with our 4th child so I can't leave. And I'm certain he's not cheating or gay. Sorry this is so long!!!
2007-10-14 17:49:21 · 16 answers · asked by blubaby77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This started when our first child was about 2 and it's not because I'm pregnant because its been going on for 7 years and I sure haven't been pregnant for 7 years! Also, he won't do counselling and he's not gay coz although he's not intersted in watching porn with me, he looks at it on the net. Oh, and I've shaved before and he didn't like it.
2007-10-14 18:26:37 · update #1
I do everything I can to pleasure him, including going to town on his lollipop! But I'm not seeing any benefits in return. I've tried putting his hand down there but the second it gets near my thigh even, he yanks it away like I'm a dirty hooker (not so, I'm very clean)! I have asked him gently and calmly why and he got angry, barely spoke and wouldn't look at me!
2007-10-14 18:58:18 · update #2
The point is HE used to do all these thing and I want to know why he doesn't now. I really don't think that it is DIRTY DIRTY for my husband to put his hands on me. I don't want to leave him because he's sexually different! I want to leave because he makes me feel like a hooker and because he isn't even willing to discuss this issue , let alone try to resolve it.
2007-10-15 12:56:49 · update #3
Ok if he's old enoughh to be doing all that, he SHOULD be mature enough to give you better reason than "i dont feel like it" . Get him some rubber gloves or something, just make sure your not alergic. Let him know we're coming for his man card if he doesn't buck up.
2007-10-14 18:22:22 · answer #1 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I don't know what to tell you. From the perspective of a guy who willingly licks, touches, gropes, fondles, inhales and any other form of touching of my wife's love canal, I really don't know.
From a very personal angle, I had your problem the other way around. I wouldn't get much touch; mouth, hand or otherwise. I just kept eating away at it so to speak, and one day I got something in return, and the friggin' smile hasn't left my face since. Let's say there's alot of touching going on now:)
We've of course talked about it since that day, and she said she's glad that in just shy of nine years I never asked her to. Besides, I was enjoying myself doing the pleasuring to her. The reasons for it involved a number of things, which all stem back to the fact that she was raised in a strict catholic home. Never saw her parents even hug. I'm serious. Sex IS procreation, not enjoyment. Affection? What's that?
It's hard to give you advice. On the one hand, you've waited a long time. Did he touch you at all in the first couple years? Then you got pregnant? Did he watch your first child come out? Most guys who aren't biology freaks might have a life-changing event right then and there.
On the other hand, talking about it is great, but you can't be accusatory. One anecdote from my experience is that once during that long spell I tried to crack a joke while she was going to town on a lollipop, and she got REAL defensive. Now that comment would be followed up by a wink.
One suggestion from a guy is get yourself all worked up before you have sex, then put his fingers right on your clitoris, and show him how it's done. If you're already worked up, and it doesn't take you long to orgasm, and he's the one to have brought you there, he'll for sure want to do that again.
2007-10-14 18:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by lovinglifeina69 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Either he was sexually molested by a female adult when he was younger or if he's catholic he was raised that touching down there was dirty and disgusting , other then that I just dont know what to tell you it sounds insane for him to be carrying on this way , I agree with you he isnt gay but he does sound selfish in the sex department.
My 2nd husband wouldnt go down south either I thought it was me but found out he just hadnt had enough experience to know how to please me down there so after finding this out I trained him in what I liked and he's now perfect at it.
Maybe more talking?
2007-10-14 19:31:57 · answer #3 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is just uncomfortable!!!
i guess some people can feel weird about doing certain things in the bedroom and maybe that's one thing that he doesnt enjoy or gets grossed out about....
you should talk to him to find out WHY he doesnt touch you there, ask him if he would go to counselling with you.
just talk to him calmly without making him feel like you are attacking him and you shouldnt give him ultimatums...
deep down though, i think he just gets grossed out with that part of a womans body and it makes him unconfortable....
2007-10-14 18:11:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
don't force him to do something he is not comfortable with... perhaps you used to be with someone who did all these things? every person is different, you should be content that you are getting any at all... if it bothers you that he won't do certain things than don't do them for him anymore... just be simple... he obviously does not like the dirty dirty stuff... let him be... and don't push or force him... by the way, you don't leave someone because you are different sexually... good grief, don't be so selfish...
2007-10-15 00:23:24 · answer #5 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Was he like this before you had kids? Some men don't like touching their women down below once they have kids. If it's not then he needs some professional help.
2007-10-14 17:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by Miss H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's taking away all pleasure and making you feel like crap. maybe ask if its because you're pregnant? maybe he feels he may hurt the baby, or because your body may not be as thin as it once was? if so, hes shallow but it could be the answer.
2007-10-14 17:58:17 · answer #7 · answered by colostomy_punch 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
do you shave? I know that's a silly question.. but maybe it's the hair if you don't shave...
Try shaving all your hair off...if you don't it's hot
or maybe it's a mental block .. he knows that there's a baby in there and he doesn't want to think about it when he's aroused? I saw that in a tv show once.. sorry for the bad answer..
2007-10-14 17:53:52 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine24 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
it could be many things going on, i would talk to a counselor
or someone about what reallly going on. with three kids and
one on the way it something. he could be cheating.
2007-10-14 17:56:51 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but he treats you like a hooker.... they do not kiss their customers or let them touch them down there... they only allow breast contact.....he is very odd....
2007-10-14 17:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by DavidV 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋