My fiance left me yesterday over hte phone. I had just come back from holidaying in Thailand and we were due to start booking upon my return. We had been together for almost four years and things were really good before I left. I moved out immediately and am camping at Mum and Dads's. Can someone tell me how to heal as I'm not angry just devastated. We have spoken about practical things like leases and credit cards etc and I have been strong but I'm crumbling on the inside. I have kept the rings as a memory and hold no grudges but I feel so lonely and upset. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.
2007-10-14 16:35:56 · 11 answers · asked by Tracey rocks in cotton socks 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What you should do is thank your lucky stars. No, seriously, anyone that is going to break up with you over the phone is not the type of person you should be marrying. It sounds like you are really upset, so you may not want to hear this, but I think you are lucky to be getting out now (because, after marriage, things could have been a lot worse). Time heals everything - so just give it time and you will be fine. Also, getting out with your friends (as opposed to sitting in your parents house) will probably help.
2007-10-14 16:45:25 · answer #1 · answered by dope211 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am truly sorry for the suffering you are experiencing. If you're feeling numb, exhausted and confused, that's actually a good sign. Your body is taking over to heal you physically and emotionally. Just as if you had suffered a severe illness or really bad accident, you now need to rest.
Tust in your youth and your basic good health to heal you inside and out, and just hold on. Don't brood. Distract yourself with NetFlix movies and doing things like this.
The new Century for me began with my home burning and got worse from there. I know what I'm talking about and just from reading your question, I have great faith in your chances of coming through this in a way that both you and your fiance can be proud of.
2007-10-14 16:48:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a little time out, think through all of the little tell-tale signs you have observed, and allow yourself to process through all the emotions you are going through. You have just had one heck of a learning experience, so that is a lot to process.
After that, allow yourself to slowly get back into dating, and take your sweet time getting to know a fellow, preferably first as a friend, then slowly getting into the romance.
You don't give a guy "permission" to break up with you, no matter how good or confiden it sounds.
You don't live with a "fiance" in an open-ended arrangement like that... it removes all impetus for him to marry you.
You can more practically move in when you are engaged and have a set wedding date within a couple of months, and you are setting up the household.
Remember that next time.
2007-10-14 16:46:49 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of those rings. Cut this flake off. What happened over such a short period of time to make him break it off. You deserve an answer, and while it will be the first step, unless he regains his common sense in the next few days, it just going take time. If you do heal, and wind up with someone else eventually, make sure this loser knows about it.
2007-10-14 16:56:09 · answer #4 · answered by kttphoenix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop obsessing about him (very difficult) but time will heal it all. You have to build up support for yourself around family and friends and look at the bright options ahead for yourself. Find something to look forward to every day (lil things) and take good care of yourself. Always be surrounded with people and activities and try not to be alone. Join a gym and find activities to do.
The hurt will stay for some time but remember that time heals it all. There is so much better out there for you and stick to that.
Avoid confrontations / trying to contact your ex except to take care of the logistics. You have to stay strong and you will come out as a winner.
2007-10-14 16:44:26 · answer #5 · answered by Romi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I spent 3 years on my own before sticking my foot into a singles club or social group and enjoyed my time on my own to think about things and improving myself, as I wasn't interested in men what so ever after being in an abusive relationship. You will eventually look back upon this and say to yourself "thank god I didn't go through with it". Everyone is right here when they say time heals all and thats what you need, time to yourself.
2007-10-14 17:17:42 · answer #6 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I say first go have some self esteem sex. Prove to yourself he's the one that lost out on a good woman, Then you have to go find the rebound man. That's someone you really like but he's not the next true love. After that you'll find the right man. All this shouldn't take you more then 8 months. Good Luck
2007-10-14 16:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just keep on going every day. Time will pass and you will thank your lucky stars that he had the guts to end something before it had time to grow into something awful. He did you a favor, now you have the chance to find someone who will love and respect you. He isn't that person.
2007-10-14 16:48:31 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunaly, only time will heal your wounds. but I heard someone say once, "nobody dies of love". (that only applies to non-suicidal people) After a breakup, you feel the world ends for you, but it will get better as you stop seeing him and you get your act back together.
Good luck
2007-10-14 16:41:00 · answer #9 · answered by Mandibulin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is time to move on. One thing is true,(if it's for you you will get it.) Move on with your life. Life is too short,(don't wast it). There are more fish in the sea. (go fishing).
2007-10-14 16:57:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋