I'm a happily married mother of 2 and there's a guy that calls me from time to time. Origonally, I knew him from my church and he was just a lonely kid (I'm a few years older than him) that I was nice to. But he's not just a lonely kid anymore, but now a lonely man with issues. He kinda acts like he likes me and it freaks me out! He acts like we're best friends or something! Last time I answered the phone I said, "How are you" and he said, "Good, now that you're on the phone"...WEIRD?!?!
How do I tell him that he can't call me anymore without upsetting him? (He recently got kicked out of the military- I don't know what he might do if I upset him)
PLEASE only serious advice!
2007-10-14 15:50:13 · 24 answers · asked by MommaLissa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I had a similar problem with a former co worker and can relate to your unsettled feelings. I am not sure if you have talked to your husband about it yet or not but if not then do so quickly. Explain to this guy that it makes you uncomfortable and that you just are not in a position to be the type of friend that you feel that he is in need of. Ask him politely to stop calling. If he continues allow your husband to answer the phone the next time that he calls and ask him to inform him respectfully that it is not appropriate and that he (man to man) would hope that he would respect him and you enough not to continue calling and that if he does call again that the next step will be to get an anti-harassment order. If it still does not work get a restraining order. I truly hope that this helps. In my situation the man stopped contacting me after talking to my husband.
2007-10-14 16:02:12 · answer #1 · answered by The Original Monstress 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't tell him without hurting him. You are married, and your husband and family come before this misguided person. They are your first priority. What do you mean by you don't know what he might do? Suicide? Or do you feel he could get violent? Tell your husband. Tell him that his calls are making you uncomfortable, and you would prefer he stop.
If you met him at church, what kind? Any Christian church would surely frown on a man attempting to befriend a married woman, and a married woman not shutting down these advances. And I believe they are advances from the comment you mentioned him making.
Encourage him to go back to church, join a mens bible study or discussion group, or even a church softball or basketball league, to help him make male friends that he can confide in. Then from there he can try some singles groups perhaps.
Don't answer his calls, or return them anymore. There is no reason to.
2007-10-14 16:00:26 · answer #2 · answered by MamaC 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you have caller don't pick up....or try to explain nicely....like instead of a direct approach just make up something.....like you had to pick your kids up from some place or go grocery shopping....try even asking him about his feelings toward you...maybe imply what your getting at so maybe he'll get the hint?.....but if you think he might be mentally unstable then telling him directly might make him crazy so that would be a last resort for me....with the flirting make up a boyfriend to help ease him off your back....if things get out of hand i would change your number...I would tell a co-worker, family member, or neighbor too just so your not totally alone with your situation & they could provide their own solutions....
2007-10-14 16:03:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can block phone calls from particular phone numbers - I think it is *69. Check your phone company's web site..
I think a better answer is to make your irritation public - change your answering machine message to come up after 1 ring and say "Please leave a message and I will get back to you. We are having trouble with a man who keeps calling when we don't want him to and this keeps him out. Please excuse the inconvenience."
If you think he will come over, alert those around you - neighbors, apartment manager - as appropriate and police if you feel you must.
2007-10-14 15:57:27 · answer #4 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try explaining to him that you are married and you have 2 children and you can't be taking his phone calls anymore as you feel uncomfortable doing that to your husband.... But if you're scared that he might do something to you or your family, I'd just get my phone number changed. Have you told your husband?
2007-10-14 15:54:14 · answer #5 · answered by I ♥ my irish twins! 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Just explain to him that you feel that by maintaining a relationship with him is putting a strain on your marriage and while you certainly wish him the best you are not willing to risk losing the man you love for any friendship. Be firm and stay strong. Even if it is a lie it still works trust me.
2007-10-14 15:55:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you have a husband, have your husband get on the phone next time. If not, have your minister call him and tell him to knock it off or the police will be called in.
2007-10-14 15:53:22 · answer #7 · answered by Jamie 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Either have your husband talk to him or file a restraining order. It is best to start documenting these types of things with the authorities when it begins!
2007-10-14 16:49:34 · answer #8 · answered by Charles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your phone company might be able to block him from calling. I would also let your husband know and see if maybe he could talk to him.
2007-10-14 15:53:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
don't you have caller i.d.? just dont answer when he calls, or else, say "Hey, I'll have to call you back, I'm in the middle of cooking, helping the kids with homework, giving my husband a back rub, whatever." and then you dont ever call him back, of course. OR, have your husband answer and ask him his intentions.
2007-10-14 15:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by diques1018 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋