if your partner or mate doesn't care if hes hurting you?

Question

my husband doesnt care how much he hurts me , he does it on purpose if i cry just turns his back , says i cause my own pain i tryed to love him listen yell scream cry nothing matters. so now i guess i told him i wil get a job and he needs to divorce me since he obviously doesnt care , love, or respect me . he says yea okay whatever.

Answer 1

Get a backbone.

Answer 2

It is so easy to tell you to leave. It is so hard to stay and allow your feelings to be hurt and to be stepped on. I know how it feels to love someone and crave for '' the way it use to be''. What you should figure out is... what's causing this anger in him. Do not leave your husband until you are sure that there is no way of fixing this. 1st of all, you start with YOU! toughen up. for some reason he is enjoying hurting you. The less you say to him the better chance you stand of getting hurt. During the silence, began to watch him. AND YES!!! Get A Job. The more you have a life, the less you will have time to think about what he say to you. When he say things in hopes that he will hurt you... find little clean things to say back and then go into the bathroom and cry if you have to. NEVER, EVER let him see you cry again. Get busy in filling out applications. This is for 1 to 2 things. It will help him ( which could be his problem) with money and bills. 2. in case you guys break up ( God forbids) you won't be stuck out there alone with no resources. Stop asking him what's the problem, stop crying and telling him what he is doing to you. Stop speaking about a divorce, because he just might want to take you up on that offer and then you will be more hurt than you already are. Start looking to see if he is having an affair. He is so use to you crying and pleading with him, he won't know what to do if you stop the same behavior and get on with your life. I'm not saying to be mean, Treat him with kindness and please stop crying. Be strong and decide if you want to stand or fall. Nothing worth having is easy. God bless!!!

Answer 3

First, don't cry in front of him like a child. He knows then he got to you. Ask if he will go to counseling with you. If not, leave him or throw him out. My husband verbally abuses me. When my son turns 18 next August I'm gone, if not sooner. Unless things change. You are too good for that crap. Get a job, save some money & make a decision. Tell him it's either fix the problems or get divorced. If you have kids please try counseling first. Kids stay scarred for life . Good luck.

Answer 4

My guess is that he is not a Godly man.
Either get serious marital counseling or get away from this situation. You cannot live in constant pain, it is going to really hurt you psychologically.
Join a good church... then ....
Get some schooling, get a job, and get out of there. Go find happiness before your life is over. How long do you have to live? It could all be over tommorrow.... seize the day.
I will pray for you.
God Bless

Answer 5

My first question is this: does he drink or use drugs? If so, get help for YOURSELF immediately if not sooner. This behavior you describe is consistent with an addict or abuser. If he is a drinker, go to Al-anon. If he uses drugs, go to a Nar-Anon meeting. These two self help groups are free of charge, are for people whose lives have been affected by someone elses drinking or drugging and teach us to get up off the floor when we no longer want to be door mats. In a way, he is right about you being responsible for your own pain. Just because he calls you a chair does not mean that you are a chair. It sounds like he is in pain himself and hurt people, hurt people. Get help for yourself so when he is mean, you dont have to take it personally....as much as you may not want to admit this, this is NOT about YOU...its about his own feelings of pain, guilt or whatever is motivating him to be cruel. Good luck
You can find a local Al-Anon meeting in the phone book or go WWW.al-anon/alateen.org

Answer 6

Youe right you do need to get a divorce and the sooner the better. He doesnt love you. Love isnt suspose to hurt. Leave now and make a life for yourself. You will find true happiness. Good Luck !!!

Answer 7

He said that because he doesn't believe that you will. Now, I want you to go and do just that. And I also want you to file for a divorce. This is called emotional, verbal and mental abuse. Please Google it and you will find the National Domestic Abuse Hotline number. They may be able to help you out temporarily. And if you ever take that ignorant excuse for a man back, I'll never speak to you again. LOL Good luck, sweetie. My prayers are with you tonight.

Answer 8

Your marriage is in need of a person to help stop the game playing and the theatrics.

A marriage counseling either alone or together will help put some sanity back in your lives.

Answer 9

Does your husband use marijuana? does he have an alcahol dependancy? was he raised by abusive parents?Do you have kids?.

Even though you have attemtped to explain your question there still isnt much detail apart from he make's statement's like :yea okay whatever.

If he is truely abusive then your better off leaving and doing it alone.

Answer 10

You don't need that kind of man. Marriage is supposed to build you up not tear you down to shreds. Get out as soon as you can and never look back.

Answer 11

thats right girl stand up for yourself. do exactly what you do him your going to do. get a job and roll on his behind and if you decide to get back with him insist that he goes to counseling and you need to seek individual counseling to find out why you accept this behavior and how not to accept it anymore. but you can make on your own. you dont deserve the abuse. GodBless