this is for people over 40?

Question

do you find your self turning into your parents.. there ways.. there habits.. child raising or do you go out of your way to be different.. i did that and got 2 spoiled kids.. which will lead to another question later

Answer 1

Yes Vis I have one very spoiled my 20 year old......she has to have the best.
My 22 year old she is completely different....
Wish sometimes I could start all over lol............

Answer 2

Definitely not, in most ways. I did a couple of things the same, but for the most part very different. I don't think I went out of my way to be different either. I've never been the type to have to learn everything the hard way and I have learned a lot from other people's mistakes. I was taught to use my own brain and not be led by others so that's what I've done and I don't have a lot of regrets.

Answer 3

Oh, gee, we should get together cuz I have THREE spoiled adult kids! Im tried to raise my kids with the understanding, nurturing, and empathy that my parents didn't show us. My parents were very rigid, stingy with compliments and encouragement. So, I thinking I'm gonna "change the world" starting with my dimpled darlings! Wroooong! So much for putting them in any activity they chose, even it meant going without. Or trying to be the understanding, but firm parent. How could I go wrong? They aren't into drugs or anything like that. They all have good jobs...blah, blah,blah. One's even a cop. But they do go about their lives with their noses sticking up the air and keep up with the Jones', sort of speak. They all show us they love us, but you'd think they were akin to a Trump or Hilton. What's your story? ha.

Answer 4

From what you say, you are spoiled or you didn't completely do everything the same as your parents. I have found we are a compilation of our parents, family, and others, so it is impossible to emulate our parents exactly. I've seen children who have everything, yet the are not spoiled. I've seen children who have nothing that are spoiled. The key I've learned is to keep consistent and to discipline. It is important to make the children think of their actions have reactions. They can impact other and themselves.

I would be proud to be more like my parents, and I'm grateful my ex for not undermining me with my daughter. My daughter has known she is loved by all her family. Yes, we say things that our parents say, but is it a bad thing? As long as we don't say hurtful things or bad things, we can be more like our parents.

It isn't too late to teach your children not to be spoiled. It is just more difficult. God bless.

Answer 5

I find myself making the same comments that my mother use to make. Luckily, they are not negative comments, it is just interesting how much we think like our parents and end up doing things the way they did.
I did not go out of my way to raise my children differently. However, I did go out of my way to give my kids some things that I did not have when I was growing up. It was not spoiling purchasing things, it was more like my daughter going to the prom and do activities that I was not able to attend due to finances. I try to let my son join activities that he wants to participate in and it is not always easy to do that because of finances :( My sister says that my kids are spoiled, yet she says this jokenly. I find myself going without so that my kids do not go without. If that makes any sense.

I actually see my children doing the same things that I did when I was their age and recently learn that my mother did some things when she was certain ages.

Answer 6

Nothing like my Parents. Mom had allot of problems and Dad had the IQ of a rock. Not a bad man. He put up with my Mom. I've been pretty much on my own since I left home when I was 20. I don't want to be anything like my Parents. It wasn't fun in our house.

Answer 7

I didn't treat my kids the same as my parents treated me for the most part, and i raised them differently.

My kids aren't spoiled and don't have the emotional problems i do, as the result of an abusive childhood. I treated my kids the best i knew how, admitted my mistakes, and we moved forward.

Answer 8

I think I'm naturally like my mother and I don't think it's a bad thing. I'm also blessed with some of Daddy's common horse sense. I also think that children should be made aware of things like where they got their eye color, a mannerism that one may take from a grandfather, and so on. It's little things like this that bring families closer together. Besides, everyone turns into their parents in the end anyhow.

Answer 9

No matter what you do, you need to follow your heart. Of course, there are things our parents did that we didn't like, but did they get the desired result? There are basic things we want for our children: independence, self-reliance, and the ability to think for themselves. There has to be a happy medium between being overly strict and overly indulgent, no matter what your parents did or did not do. Realize you need to be a parent, not a best friend.

Answer 10

Nope I am no where near my parents. My mother was a manic depressive who refused medications, I am "borderline" and am on medications...for my family. My father was a violent alcoholic who used me as his favorite whipping post. I never used physical violence against my daughter. I was in a miserable marriage, I got out of it...my parents were miserable in their marraige but stayed together "for the children" and made the entire family miserable.

Answer 11

I really never thought about that. I was raised with two wonderful parents....never screamed, yelled or cursed in front of us. never struck us........Now, I truly wonder how they did it,
being married myself now and raising children......
I guess you are right in a way, we do not yell in front of the children, and discuss serious things when the kids are not around. Yes, we tell them no, however no striking the children.
They are grown now, married and are the most wonderful
grown children any parent would want.