Desperate wife Looking for peace in her home.?

Question

My husband is always telling me that I am wrong, Everything I do or say is wrong its to point were somtimes I think I should just stay on the computer to avoid arguments. For the pass couple months we have been arguing evey weekend and I have even cought him checking a few singles site. I dont know what to do. Please help.

I have tried confronting him about the singles site but he stated that he was just fooling around for 3rd time. but nothing serious. I would love to have some one to talk with but I dont have anyone just his family and they would probably not believe me. Everyone thanks for your response it's a real help. God Bless you all.

Answer 1

sweetie his arguing is not about you. its about him wanting to look else where but dont know how to effectively do that with out you finding out. he wants to explore the single life again, so to do so without guilt he argues with you and that justifies his online cheating. so you both need to communicate and get to the root of the arguing cause not about what you think it is. its called communication. GodBless

Answer 2

Something amiss in your marriage thats 1 thing for sure , have you hear the term "The cheating affair to divorce"?

When men are bored , fed up with their job's , their live's , they spend all day dreaming about what life might have been like "IF" they'd done it differently.

So they cause arguments , even though they know they are stupid and petty and have no valid point to them , they come to realise the only way out is by pushing the person they truely love away and the sad thing is they dont realise they've done it until it's all said and done and finished in divorce court.

The fact this is the 3rd time you've caught him on a single's dating site only confirms my thought's , he is losing sight of what is in front of him which is "YOU" and looking for his escape.

He needs to realise what he is doing before it destroys you both and no matter how much you point it out to him he wont recognise it.Sit him down put all the bets on the table , ask if he's bored , ask if he is regretting past choices , not neccessarily your marriage but just choices to do with home , work and who he saw himself as being when he was 18 , 19.

He may wake up to things if you can manage to discuss this openly , honestly without prejeduce or anger.Good luck.

Answer 3

I know how you feel- I often stay on the computer to avoid even talking to my fiance because we have been arguing so much lately. As for the dating websites, you must confront him about this. Ask him about the websites and then you will most likely know whether you should consider ending things. However, before ending things try marriage counseling- I know many people whose marriages were failing and marriage counseling helped them greatly. The majority of husbands browsing through dating websites, are either thinking about getting a divorce or considering cheating so you must confront him immediately.

Answer 4

I agree that talking to him about it is probably a good idea if it can be done calmly and respectfully. And don't do it in your house or car. Ask him to take a walk, or even sit out on the front stoop or in the back yard. Marriage counseling is a great idea if he will go. But more importantly, you go to counseling. You need to take care of yourself and have support to combat all the negativity he is surrounding you with. A councilor will be on your side and help you stay strong through whatever happens.

If you are concerned that he may be continuing to pursue outside relationships, stop having sex with him. You don't want to be exposed to any diseases he might bring home.

Answer 5

Sounds like to you need to talk. Sometimes it is impossible to have a nice peaceful talk with your spouse. I am in the same situation. I have concluded that if my husband wants to work things out, he will talk and get to the bottom of what I think is wrong. If he doesn't care, he will not talk. This talk needs to be without argument and with soft voices. Your spouse should help lift you up, not tear you down. The single sites should go. He is not single. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Ask him why he's checking the singles sites. Tell him you would like to go to marriage counseling and make your marriage work. If he's not interested in going - tell him it is very important and try to persuade him that the marriage is at stake - go yourself, by yourself, and plan your future. If he wants to trash your marriage, he will do it and no one can stop him. But you can help yourself to deal with it and him and maybe get some insights into what is going on.

Answer 7

Have a talk about whats bothering him. Ask him if he wants some time out. Maybe you need some time out. Round up your friends for a movie or invite them for dinner.That might get him to open up to your friends husband than her husband will tell her whats wrong with him than you can ask her "what the hells wrong with him. Tit for tat: Go check out some guys on the web that might get him to stop "window shopping"

Answer 8

You could start by telling him what you just told us. If he won't talk to you about it then seeing a counselor might help. I wouldn't bet on him going for that. Just tell him how you feel and if it doesn't help, then kick him out, thats probably what he wants anyway. Sounds like you'd be better off without him.

Answer 9

You do need help. If he's looking at those sites, it is only a matter of time before he puts himself on the market. So, since he won't listen to you, it's time for some outside help. Marriage counselor, pastor, family friend, etc. Do it now, before it's too late.

Answer 10

I would ask him what the real problem is-and then to leave you the hell alone until he can speak to you like a human being. Don't join in his petty arguements. Then find a counselor for either yourself or both of you.