I am asking this because I know her, and at one point (before I knew they were together) I had spent the night with her. I know she regularly goes out on weekends with her girlfriends (most of them are addicted to drugs and/or alcohol) and when they get together, they are actually worse than most men I've ever known. I don't want to be the one to let him know, but I'm afraid he is going to find out after it's too late. Please help?
2007-10-14 14:57:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not your place to tell him. Talking *** about his fiance will make him mad at you. He needs to find out on his own. If you think about it, you could probably "arrange" for him to discover her extra curricular activities. You will have to be a bit....creative to make it happen.
2007-10-14 15:04:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to make sure that he knows but if you can find a way to do that without him knowing it is you, then you can be there to support him when he needs that. If the girls normally go to one place and get out of line there, perhaps an anonymous phone call telling him they are there and he needs to see that or even a picture taken on a cell phone sent to him. If one of the girls drive after an evening of drinking you can always call the police and report that they are driving drunk with drugs in the car. Perhaps you could get another friend that the soon to be married friend does not know hit on her and lt the friend see that.
Understand everyone, that I would not normally urge these things but if a girl - or person for that matter that I knew - was to be married to someone and yet is sleeping around with others and using drugs I would not hesitate to do these things to protect my friend from a failed marriage as well as some possible disease he or she might get from the other person.
I hope your friend learns in time about her.
2007-10-14 15:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely you tell your friend. If the situation were turned around wouldn't you want to know? Trust me divorce is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. If you can spare your friend from any future heartache you should. Now be prepared...your friend may not believe you, but at least you will be able to sleep better at night knowing you made every effort to make your friend aware of the situation. If you don't say anything you may feel guilty for a very long time. It's nice to have good friends through the good and the bad....so what are you waiting for...TELL HIM!!!!!!!!
2007-10-14 15:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's really your friend then you should let him know before its too late. He may resent you and you may lose his friendship for a while but it would be worth it if it means that it will save him from a life of turmoil. He may know already what she's all about and he may still love her regardless but at least you can warn him if he doesn't already know.
2007-10-14 15:03:14 · answer #4 · answered by concernone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is truly your friend than tell him that you and her slept together and that it was way before you knew that they were seeing each or getting married for that matter and that because you consider him to be one of your best friends or your best friend. you wanted to tell him so that there would be no surprises later and that you wanted him to know that he can trust you at all times. tell him ASAP before she turns it into something like you like her and you are jealous. so tell it before a twist get to the truth and he turns on you. GodBless
2007-10-14 15:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you NEED to tell him. if he's your friend he deserves to know. if you let him get married to her and he doesnt know whats going on and he finds out you knew, it'll be bad for you. on the other side he may get angry and upset and think your lying but you wnt have a guilty conscious. you need to let him know because he will find out too late and wont be able to get himself out of it. at least if you tell him before he's married, he has time to think and decide if he still wants to be with her.
2007-10-14 15:04:13 · answer #6 · answered by queenzflyestchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is expensive and he would be pretty piss*ed if he found out that you knew after he finds out a few years down the road and has to pay for the divorce. Plus, SHE isn't your friend, HE is, be a friend.
2007-10-14 15:14:11 · answer #7 · answered by Neekoleye 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, if he's a good friend to you, you MUST tell him. I'm sure you would want to know if your future wife was doing that before the vows were exchanged.
2007-10-14 15:00:34 · answer #8 · answered by Linni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAVE to tell him. Do you want him to end up with either aids or something? Or to have kids with her and that will be a horrible situation for a child!? Tell him whats going on im sure he will appreciate it.
2007-10-14 15:14:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends don't let friends get hurt.. if they can help it...This is a sticky situation but put yourself in his place and see how you would feel...Even if he happens to get mad at you at least he is going to start thinking and that is what you want...so approach it very carefully and go for it...Good luck...
2007-10-14 15:03:18 · answer #10 · answered by foxygirl29303 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋