do books like Wild at Heart and Captivating set unrealistic standards and expectations on men and women?

Question

for what they think they need or want in a marriage partner?

the Eldredges redefine what it means to be a man and woman into some psychologically sensitive, self aware, wild and hot person who does pretty much what they want, and if people don't do that they are to be considered boring and unattractive and abnormal.

Answer 1

I my opinion, anyone who tries to sum up a large mass of humanity in just a few simple axioms is doomed to failure. Any sociologist can tell you that 'normal' is purely a statistical term, and that there is really no person who can be called 'normal' in every sense (i.e. everyone is abnormal). Certainly if people were so easy to figure out, we would all have done it long ago.

What then are we to make of Eldredge's attempts to tell us what every woman wants or what every man thinks about? I think the least that can be said is that Eldredge vastly VASTLY overestimates his own understanding of people.

Sure, it may be true that SOME people follow his guidelines. And people often behave differently if they think they are supposed to... so his readers might MAKE him right if they trust his authority.

I would argue that people who are so easily taken in are probably not people you want as your partner anyway. As soon as the next fad comes along they'll be completely into some other kind of regimen that they think they must follow to be happy, and you'll have to go along or be left behind.

So yes, I think the books can help to create unrealistic standards, but it is not the books that should be blamed, but those who swallow them whole without appying reasoning and scrutiny to their contents. So it goes.