my ex girlfreind contacted me in email should i tell my wife who is a bit insecure and thinks i still want my ex girlfreind oh by the way she sent me an email telling me her mother is paralyzed and to send me condolenses on my brothers death.
2007-10-14 14:34:30 · 22 answers · asked by gamafoo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your wife and get her to send an email back to your ex expressing regret on both your behalf. That way it will put your wife's mind at ease and she will see for herself that there was nothing untoward in the email.
2007-10-14 14:41:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your wife that she contacted you to send condolences and that you replied to say thank you and sorry to hear about her mother. Best wishes. Show her the emails if you think it'll help and promise her that you won't continue the contact or initiate further contact.
From personal experience, I know that it'll be better if she finds out from you instead of by accident or some time down the line.
By the way, what makes her think you want to get back with your ex? Do you talk about this chick a lot? That's my problem with my bf and he was just CONSTANTLY bringing up his exes and finally I was like if you say one more thing about them, I'm gone. If you're so keen to talk about her, then why dont' you go get her back. So figure out what's causing this insecurity and fix it. It's probably not something that came out of thin air. Maybe it was an innocent comment but women pick up on things.
2007-10-15 12:04:50 · answer #2 · answered by abrennan01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't tell your wife - it's not like you want your ex-girlfriend back, if she asks or you like just say you had a message from a friend you haven't heard from for ages who is going through a rough time. If she presses for more, just say a distant relative (which in some case is true). Just make sure you don't get into any lengthy communication with your ex, but it's good to be a friend and offer a little support.
2007-10-14 22:29:52 · answer #3 · answered by faithwrkz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better believe you'd better tell her. If she finds out for whatever reason she emailed you, she's going to think you had something to hide by not telling her. You think she's insecure now, she'll be even more. It might help with her insecurities if you do tell her. If the ex is sending condolences for your brother, that was a polite thing to do. It's really the considerate thing for your wife's sake.
2007-10-14 21:43:57 · answer #4 · answered by doglover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a catch 22. One the one hand your wife might appreciate the fact that you are being so open with her BUT she might also think the two of you (ex & u) have been 'talking' all along.
Could she handle the truth? Go with your gut and for goodness sake, if your wife means the world to you and she is not the type to understand friendships then you should cease your communications with this ex.
2007-10-14 21:40:24 · answer #5 · answered by Indya M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep away from your Ex. You never want to do anything that makes your wife in secure or hurts her. You should respect her feeling.
I went through the same insecurity where my husband did not understand the impact of being in touch with Ex (funny that my husband's exes email was all about her dad's heart attack and stuff - per my husband) and it kept making things so bad between us on the trust part that a seven year old marriage is going through a divorce.
stay away from the Ex!! Stay away !! Please respect and care about your wife's feelings :-)
2007-10-14 21:41:34 · answer #6 · answered by Romi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife will likely feel like somethings going on, but you should tell her. Show her the email so that she doesnt suspect anything was going on behind her back. Definetely do not tell her anything like "I wasnt gonna show you" or "I couldve hid it but I was honest" because that will make her think you might just do that. As long as the email is innocent - and unsolicited - then you should be honest with your wife. Then let your wife help you respond back, and then block her (your ex). Your wife will feel better knowing the whole story and feeling like you included her. Good luck!
2007-10-14 21:42:33 · answer #7 · answered by My2Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should tell your wife that the ex made contact with you to give her condolences on your brother death and she also said her mom was paralyzed. its innocent information. but if you decide not to tell your wife send your well wishes and ALL ERASE emails IMMEDIATELY. her and yours. but know that secrets can destroy. but am sure you should be okay if you erase everything and make no more contact with her. GodBless
2007-10-14 21:52:17 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um. I agree with all the ladies. *thumbs up*
=D
But seriously, they are right. Tell your wife and ask for advice and/or show her the message. She won't be able to trust you if she finds out, and you might have an internal struggle for a while even if she doesn't.
Every woman deserves to know of communications with other women, as my girlfriend has loudly gotten through to me finally.
2007-10-14 21:55:38 · answer #9 · answered by Zach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ex was touching base and being thoughtful,,,,tell the wife even if she is going to freak just to save yourself some grief if she finds out another way
2007-10-14 21:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋