Why do so many parents teach their kids not to feel?

Question

First of all I don't have any kids nor do I plan to have any.

It seems as though it is common for parents(not all) to teach children not to feel. Not to express their emotions. Don't get mad. Don't cry. Don't stand up for your rights if you feel violated. Don't scream and jump up and down when you're happy.

So why do some parents teach them not to feel?

Answer 1

as a parent, sometimes it hurts to see your children cry.

its easier to teach children how to resolve their conflicts and not let their emotions rule over their mind.

I grew up in a home where my dad never showed emotion over anything, but he grew up that way. My mom, i have had to carry her because she would cry so hard and couldn't walk.
I express my emotions, but have a better time expressing sad emotions in private, and happy emotions in public.
its the cultural norm, that people spot emotion as a sign of weakness....and it can cause problems. I agree with you, and i'm a mom, but this may be why some teach their children not to feel.

Answer 2

i asked myself the same question when i had my first child and i agree with you. it's important for them to be able to express they're feelings. for instance, if my daughter is punished for misbehaving and she cries or screams a little in anger - i let her go for it. i'm talkin' havin' fits or anything, but just a normal reaction of a small child that's in trouble. then, after she's got it all out, when can talk and all's well. i don't ever want any of my children to feel as though they can't express themselves fully within their family. that's what we're here for...so yeah - good question!

Answer 3

I think what the parents are trying to teach their children is not to wear the emotions on their sleeve. Unscrupulous people will take advantage of sensitive people, and the parents are trying to prevent this.

Answer 4

I think that parents who do this had it done to them and don't know another way of handling it. If you don't have the experience of being open with feelings, it is hard to teach/show another how it can be done.

Answer 5

Maybe they are afraid of showing emotion themselves. Many people grow up in homes were showing too much emotion is not acceptable.

Answer 6

Probably because they are scared themselves of their own emotions . It's unhealthy and damaging to be ordered not to feel , there should be a test for parenthood ....

Answer 7

idk but its so annoying like whenever im in a bad mood my mom gets pissed off at me and then punishes me and like ugh arnt i allowed to be mad!?