My son is 21 and is in the Army. He was hurt in Iraq which has left him with slight physical damage but mostly mental, going through flash backs. So here comes the abuse things he met a 20 year old who is divorced with 1 child and she was supposedly abused by her exhusband.
She about 1 1/2 months ago hit him, and on sept 7 he decided to marry her. During a flash back he tapped her and she ran out. I do belive he has never touch her He was taken to his barracks. then wanted to work it out. She started in on him accusing him of an affair he was hurt by that and took many pills and went to hospital. He was again put in the barracks, and then convinced the army to let him go home. he lasted 2 days and last night calls to say there is problems. My youngest son is there and has witnessed some of this. Last night she hit him many times and punched him in the stomach. My problem is this he wants me to help her. He wants to go back. I am scared and do not know where to turn for help
2007-10-14 14:13:34 · 4 answers · asked by lpdecca 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is only insisting for mre to help her I have told him no that he comes first be he is warning me that I need to help her and I tried and this happened all in a week. I love my son but I have warned him that the next time she could kill him. He doesn't care. I want to talk to one of his councelors or someone on a professional side to find out if what I am saying is ok. and for the first person who answered my question, I am very saddened as this is a very hard thing to try to help my son, and that was a very uncaring answer. My son has lived through being hit by a rocket in his armor vehicle and has slight brain damage and walks with his foot curved to the left. Your insinuation that It would be me hurt as this is a very serious subject.
2007-10-14 14:45:29 · update #1
Your son unfortunately is not seeing the writing on the wall. Could you possible convince if he goes to counseling, it will help him? And my definition of helping him is having a counselor show him the writing on the wall. Sometimes it takes an outsider's view to open your eyes.
It appears your son found some sort of comfort with this girl as strange as it may seem. She definitely has issues. Most women who have been abused DO NOT react the way she does. Self esteem is gone and when you find someone who treats you well, you do not make accusations or become physical. My father was abusive to my mother and have done counseling when I got older.
Please enlist the help of your family, if you can. Is it possible to have your son live with you a while to clear his head? Any excuse to have him do so seems worth it. Maybe, just maybe, when the "real world" comes back to him and shows him there is a better life that what he is headed for, he will wake up and take the higher road.
Your son has done our country a great service and does not deserve to go through such uncalled for drama. He deserves so much more and is very lucky to have you for a mother.
My prayers are with you-keep your chin up.
2007-10-14 15:03:36 · answer #1 · answered by ba374 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is grasping at straws, hon... Perhaps urge him to talk with a therapist about this situation and the girl. She is abusive and has emotional problems. Your son has been through enough without an involvement of this kind.
If the girl is urged to get help and she can be consistent and can prove she's changed after a period of 6-12 months (or more) then maybe it would work out, but i'd opt for getting help for your son.
His health is most important right now -- emotionally and physically. Please thank him from me for serving our country and for protecting my family and the nation. hugs
2007-10-14 14:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your son some professional help. Fix the mental issues, then worry about the relationship.
The only help I would give him with the relationship is to tell the nutcase girl to hit the f*ckin' road!
I think it says a lot for your son that he hasn't hit her back...he must be a really patient and tolerant young man.
God Bless him for his service to our country! I hope he gets better.
2007-10-14 16:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. GTO 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ask the military counslers...you need professional help
2007-10-14 14:18:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋