I am a divorce mom of two kids .After my ex husband came back from prison(after 3and 1-2 years)we agreed to reconcile for sake of our kids and also for some love we had for each other.We had recently moved to a new town, everything was going smoothly , we both had found good jobs and restablishing ourselvesin the new community.as a father and a husband he is a great man.I aggred to reconcile because he asked me to give him a second chance,and he commited drug crime and also ihad d some soft corner for him.Now he has left the house ,he wont give me any reason why he did, he said to me that I will do my duties as a father and there is no compatibility between us that we r so diffrent with each other.I m devastated and so r our kids.I had high hope from new life,I feel like im going to collapse,( there is no girl is involved with him i have checked) Please help !! He does not want to see acounselor, he does not want to give any reason for his action,should i wait for him?
2007-10-14 14:12:00 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be glad he did what he did - things would probably only get worse.
2007-10-14 14:20:38 · answer #1 · answered by Tonya R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont waste time waiting for any man, but dont rush out and get involved with a different relationship either, the reason for this is because of the children, this would add more insanity and insecure feelings that they are already suffering from, also Im very stunned that you mentioned going to therapy with your ex-husband, what about the rest of the family and yourself? I think maybe being that you are from a relationship that at one time was exposed to drugs , that you are a co-dependent, so step one to take is to stop focusing on your ex- and start looking at the people who are supposed to be #1, and this would be your kids, they are the ones who need some stability and love and some therapy. Alanon might also be a good place for you to find support, as this will be a great step in the right direction for you. So dont wait, cause you may be waiting around for nothing, and start living your life with your children, who need their mom to be healthy and happy, Good Luck!
2007-10-14 14:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.. i'm sorry you are having a rough time, and i see you are struggling.
maybe your ex husband doesn't feel the same as he used to, and does not feel it's going to work out for the two of you. life changes us sometimes, and you and your husband were separated for quite a long time.
you also seemed to go back into the relationship with expectations that things would go well. expecting everything to work out is a set up for a big let down -- you both tried, but somehow the arrangement failed, and i'm sorry to hear it.
please do what you can to move forward. seek therapy if you must. do whatever it takes to take care of your emotional well-being and that of the children.
sending all best wishes. i know it's hard. xo
2007-10-14 14:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Well you do know that prison life changes people and it maybe that something did happen when he was incarcerated; maybe while there his sexual orientation changed. which is why though he has left you ,your investigation reveals that he is not involved with another woman .
*Since , as you say, he does not wish to see a counselor nor does he wish to give any reason for his strange actions; i suppose the only avenue left for you is to move on with your life and also take charge of the children's future. Just assume that he is in prison and stop waiting for him to return , after all this is not his first absence from home.I really feel for you.Be strong.
2007-10-14 15:15:24 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Source 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should not wait, you have done enough waiting for this guy and now that he has dumped you and the kids why should you wait and what are you waiting for. You should go on with your life and get the divorce. I know this hurts and it will be hard but it will be harder to keep putting your hopes into a relationship with someone who does not want one.
2007-10-14 14:17:58 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about that. You are a mother who take care of these children obviously you have strength to move on. You don't need any man with you and you prove it to yourself. Put your head up take your own time you get fun hunting the man that you want. Make up your life in a better way with a better guy if you want, but you proved to yourself that you can do it alone.
2007-10-14 14:32:24 · answer #6 · answered by Charmed_Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no that you should not wait for him. Obviously prison changed who he is and what he wants in life. He is not willing to commit to you and the kids at this point. You are going to have to find a way to move on with your life without him in it.
2007-10-14 14:16:26 · answer #7 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are better off without him. he is very confused right now and cant seem to make the adjustment of being out. doesnt sound like he wants to be tied down either.
2007-10-14 14:16:12 · answer #8 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think long and hard ok hes been locked up with mens you say there is no woman maybe his desire is gone for a female its known to happen
2007-10-14 14:26:06 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋