Engaged too young ? what do you think of this engagement/marriage?

Question

i am 17 years old , just got engaged to a 37 , i have already been with him , lost my virginity to him and i love him.
I know marriage is not just about love and sex, its more about sharing or compromising, however, I am very insecure about whats going to happen in my future life , am i gonna regret it ? can i contenue to study , will i be happy in my sex life etc etc.
He is certainly ready to get married and he could get more women to get married to , he was married anyways long time ago and he cheated on his wife as he used to womenise a lot but, thats a part of his past , he wants to build a family and live a life.
How do you think this engagement,marriage will go on ?

Answer 1

if you have too many question,you are not ready. #

Answer 2

I got engaged at christmas time when I was 17 yr. old. Graduated in May, turned 18 in June and was married Oct.1st. And I will tell you this much. I believe now it was way too young. In reality, you are still developing who you are. I feel after 24 yr. of marriage (still married too the same fellow) that I don't even at times know who I am. I have walked a tight rope. It's been hard and I am not sure I'd do it all over again, sometimes. I have a healthy handsome intelligent if a little too-wild 21 yr. old kid out of it -- and it's not all been bad, but I just want to tell you that its been rough over-all. Take your time. You have the rest of your life to be married. Get out and experience living a little. Get an education, I cannot tell you how I wish I had. Take your time and my best too you.

Answer 3

I've always been attracted to men older than me and I'm currently dating one who's 17 yrs older....... more or less the same difference between you and your fiance. The difference here, my dear, is that I am 30 yrs old and not 17..... I know a lot better now, I've lived and dated a lot of other people, and even though I'll never have as much experience as he does, he can't control me because I'm a grown woman who has studied, is financially and emotionally independent...... so he cannot control me. At 17........ it's soooo easy for such a grown and experimented man to manipulate you (I'm not using the term in a bad sense) and make you act / behave as he wants.....

I was once your age, and I also dated an older man (11 yrs+) back then whom I was just about to marry and whom I also lost my virginity to. But nowadays I'm SO GLAD I didn't....... don't get me wrong, he was a very good man and I'm still in touch with him after these many years. But I'm so glad that I didn't make such an important decision when I was that young. We first talked about getting married when I was about 19 and he waited for me to finish college (22) but before I did I realized I was NOT ready for marriage, so I ended it. It was very hard for him, but believe me, that marriage would have failed sooner or later.... I'm so glad I kept my freedom to study, to travel, to work, to meet other guys. I'd have been very unhappy if I had married him, even though he loved me very much and I did too at the beginning. You still have so much to do and experience....... I don't care if he's 2 or 20 yrs older than you, I think you're way too young to make this big decision and because of his age he most probably will want to keep you at home taking care of his kids, because he is ready for that stage..... you aren't yet and you're going to miss out on SO much if you marry him soon. Marriage isn't all honey and roses my dear, it's TOUGH and it takes a lot of work and sacrifice. I am not ready for it at 30.... and don't think I ever will be. If you're insecure about this, DON'T DO IT. I'm glad I backed out in time when I was about your age..... you will regret more getting married than not. You have sooo many years ahead to do that.... live your life before taking this step which will change it forever!! Good luck.

Answer 4

Your crazy.
#1 why are you engaged to a 37 year old, your only 17 and are not a legal adult yet.
#2. If I was your parent I was strongly disapprove, I don't understand why a man who is 20 years older then you would be interested in you unless it's for very different reasons.
#3 You have not experienced life yet, you are probably still in HS Look, I am 10 says shy of my 21st birthday and 4 months from graduating college..I just got engaged in August. My fiance is 22 and wonderful but It's really tough at times. We just bought house so now at my young age of 21 I have to worry about a mortgage, a fiance,school and my job. It's alot to handle. Take it from someone who is young, I would wait..go experience life first. If he loves you now he will love you 6 months from now and 6 years from now. Don't rush it, your still a child.

Answer 5

Wow.
This is a big step for a young person to take.
First, I think you guys both need pre-marital counseling.
You can seek this at your church, or at a marriage counseling office.
The age difference is not a terrible thing. If both of you are committed to making it work then it will work.
But, I think you need to sit down, talk this out, be brutally honest with each other about the strengths and weaknesses in your relationship.
Ask the big questions:
What does he expect a wife to be/to do/to become in the future?
Ask yourself and him the same:
What do you expect a husband to be/to do/to become in the future?

Asking these questions and more in front of a counselor will help to open lines of communication.

I definitely think you should move slowly with this relationship, and understand that you are both coming from very different levels of maturity. This could be a blessing or a curse. Give yourself a chance to understand what your doing for or to each other.
Make an informed decision.
The only way to do that is to talk this out with someone who would be completely neutral and non-judgemental, and would give you advice based on the validity of your relationship.
If there are major problems, you both would be better off hearing about them now, and make decisions bases on that. You may decide to repair those problems and the counselor/therapist could give you advice on how to do that.

If you truly love each other.... then you will not want anything to stand in the way of your happiness. Be a shining example of a positive relationship from day one. Do not let problems get swept under the rug. Face them head on like an adult and do your best to make each other happy.

Best of luck... and God Bless you.

Answer 6

you will regret this relationship whether you marry him or not and may i suggest NOT I have been in something like this and it is wrong and sort of perverse on his side....why doesn't he seen how abnormal his attraction to a TEENAGER is? sweetie it is not going to work out so sorry for you run the other way

I also think it is laughable that you say womanising is in his past now, what do you think he is doing with you darling? You really need to reconsider please please something is not good about a 37yr old wanting a 17 yr old. Things could become very bad for you men usually want control over a much younger woman. It is even possible you will be abused

Answer 7

I think you need to get out of that relationship. He is way too old and if he cheated on his wife in the past. How can you be really sure that he won't cheat on you. I think it is a bad idea. 1. you need to live your life before you get married. 2 why would a guy that old want to date a girl your AGE. the fact that you are so young and he is so old is not good. think about the future when he gets older and you are still young. are you prepared to take care of him? Just think about it.

Answer 8

Wow...What type of 37 year old asks a 17 year old to marry him??? This man has lived your life and then some.. he knows the ropes and how to sweet talk women.. especially someone as young as you. and if he had an affair on his ex wife..someone who he loved enough to marry... then what makes you more special????? .He'll do the same to you without thinking twice.. You're only 17.. live your life.. date around.. be young.. don't fall for his B.S. you'll only end up hurt

Answer 9

Good lord.....he's old enough to be your father! Not to mention you're underage, which makes him a perv and could very well be sent to jail. You have absolutely no concept of what marriage is about. Oh - and once a cheater, always a cheater. You don't trust someone like that - ever. If he cheated before, he WILL do it again. Forget about him, and concentrate on your education. From the way you write, it badly needs attention.

Answer 10

20 years is a life time of lessons. Not only are you too young but he is too old to be with someone your age. Like the other person said, if you have this many questions, then yes you are not ready.

Answer 11

You don't sound ready...I'm 18 and in no hurry to get married. I do have someone special in my life, but I want to get through with college and get a good job and become finacially stable before I even consider marriage and having children.