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My two daughters from my first marriage, both with kids of their own, are not getting along and I am put in the middle. One husband is controlling one daughter & the other daughter is trying to be her friend & the controlling husband is trying to isolate his wife from all but him. He's working on me now, so my daughter(his wife) won't have anything to do with me .It's serious stuff. This controlling. What can anybody suggest I can do ? Nothing ? What ?

2007-10-14 11:58:09 · 24 answers · asked by The Count 7 in Entertainment & Music Polls & Surveys

24 answers

Ok, when I have situation that I can not solve it, I will pray and ask from God to help me. I would say , I will free myself from all this worries and I send them to God and God will slove it for me.

2007-10-14 21:46:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 1 0

I am sorry for the current situation that you are in. Your daughter who is in the controlling environment is the only one who will be able to do anything about this. I can hear the care & concern that is coming from your question & it is obvious that you will be there for her when she needs you. But, you can't let your other daughter pull you into this if there is absolutely nothing more that you can do. I hope that your daughter sees what her husband is doing & realizes before it really damages the relationships with you all. My prayers are with you.

2007-10-14 12:39:40 · answer #2 · answered by ♫brokenangel♫ 6 · 1 0

Wow. I had to read that over a few times to understand! I suggest you have a talk with your daughter with the controlling husband. Meet with her, have coffee somewhere and such. Also, this may become an issue of domestic violence. Ask her if she is being abused in anyway, shape or form. Also, I suggest asking her to have a talk with her husband saying she is feeling a bit smothered by him and she needs some more freedom. If he truly loves her he will understand! good luck, and hope i helped!

2007-10-14 12:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 1 0

Hi..
I would have a little luncheon at the house, and invite your daughters..
Sit down, and find out what's really going on, with all of this controlling nonsense.
It sounds like, for whatever reason, there's a lot of jealousy going on...
Explain to your daughters that the holidays are coming up, and you want all of this he said, she said over, once and for all..It's just upsetting everyone..
Who ever is married to the controlling husband, has to get him in line.
Everyone has to work together, to get this family acting like a family again.
You have to convince them, that you mean what you say..
You are the matriarch of the family..Regardless of how old they are, they should respect you..And that includes the controlling husband!
Good luck, and take care!

2007-10-14 12:51:04 · answer #4 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 0 1

ouch this is a hard one !!! i was in a controlling relationship for 12 years , to the point i just wanted to die seriously,i always talked to my family about it , but as you probs know i can't hold things in ,but i made things worse because i didn't have the strength to do anything about it , then one day my mother said to me put up or shut up , that was the turning point for me and that harsh comment and a lot of soul searching i made the decision to leave , you have become a piggy in the middle , my dad wanted to break his legs because of what he made me into all i can say be protective , be there for both your daughters ,but don't get too involved because if everyone is against him it will be worse for her , trust me i know what I'm talking about anyway two years on and i am at last the confident person i once was before he sucked the life out of me don't give up on her ever !! good luck

2007-10-14 12:18:13 · answer #5 · answered by ♥BEX♥ 7 · 1 0

I would use baked goods and praise to gain some foot hold of trust, to get in the door. Make stuff up, what a hard worker, Aren't you luckey to have married such a good looking man, lay on the crapola, just make sure you got a foot hold to get a peek at what hes up to, like abuse! Anyway 9 times out of 10 pies, special chips and dips, abaked ham, cookies----this stuff works.Don't let him have the upper hand, keep tabs. This could be life saving, and her sister must sense a problem.This is the MO of an abuser, or a guy who is terribly insecure. Make him comfortable as a first ploy.So far he has nothing to lose by removing her. Remember agree with him to smoke him out, baby him, and you gain entrance into his private world.

2007-10-14 12:12:21 · answer #6 · answered by kim 7 · 1 1

There isn't a lot you can do except try to be there and be supportive of your daughter if she chooses to reach out to you. If you believe the children are in danger you need to call child services, you can do this anonymously.
Some women who's husbands isolate them come around and need help getting out. Please try to be prepared if you ever receive a call from her asking for help. Don't be upset or hold onto grudges against her, help her.
Hopefully, you will not lose your daughter to this man.
Good Luck.

2007-10-14 12:02:22 · answer #7 · answered by paganmom 6 · 2 1

I was in a marriage with a husband like that. He moved us away from my family and tried to get rid of my friends. For the most part, he got his way. My family could only let me know they were there for me if I needed them. I only had one friend who wouldn't let him drive her away. I stayed with him for three rotten years before I had to get out. I couldn't live like that anymore. There isn't much anyone can do until she has had enough and only she will know when that is. Just let her know you are there for her whenever she needs you and don't hassle her about the husband.

2007-10-14 12:28:43 · answer #8 · answered by Breezey is saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY 7 · 1 0

hmmm....try to get her at a time when she is likely to be on her own (work eg) and see if you can meet for a coffee and have a chat with her without being critisising or giving her reason to walk off - ask her how she is and whats happening in her life that has caused so much change
tell her no matter what happens you and her sister love her for always and will always be there for her -

families are difficult things to deal with - good luck

2007-10-14 12:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Controlling behavior is a form of emotional abuse. The abuser's first task is to isolate the victim, particularly from family and friends. Physical, financial, and verbal abuse will be next.
You can call adult protective services anonymously, if you like, and ask what can be done.

2007-10-14 12:03:44 · answer #10 · answered by holey moley 6 · 2 0

Sweetie, niether a sort of adult adult males deserve you or you alluring daughters. Cheaters and abusers are the worst style of persons. do no longer melancholy, there are good adult adult males available. as quickly as you end finding, you will run into one that needs to be with you. basically verify that the subsequent one extremely loves you. you will understand. while adult adult males fall in love, they desire to do each and every thing they are in a position to to fullfill their companions lives bodily and emotionally. properly, good adult adult males do. Pray approximately this daily. the respond will come. basically ensure which you %. a guy which will pay attention on your thoughts and attempt to apply that advice to do issues that meet your desires and please you. then you extremely'll understand you have have been given a keeper. No lesser guy merits the superb to maintain enterprise with you and your infants. overlook the final 2 jerks and surely circulate directly to a minimum of a few thing greater acceptable. you would be basically advantageous even even though it would not experience that way. have confidence god and pray. Be solid on your women and your self. good success expensive.

2016-10-06 22:41:29 · answer #11 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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