Can I marry a man who is 22 years older than me?

Question

I am 20 years and very mature for my age. I had tough times in life and many struggles. Struggles beyond what normal people have to deal with.

I really love this man a lot with true love. I love him so much that the age difference does NOT even matter and I don't even feel the age difference. I feel he is the same as me.

I have an AVERSION when people say:
*You could be his daughter.
*He could be your father.
*Why can't you find someone your own age?
*What could you possibly have in common?

What I am going to tell my parents? They want me to marry someone close to my age. Not someone who is 22 years older than me. How can I justify my love for him to my parents?

Answer 1

my husband is11 years older than me and we have been married 26 years if you really love each other go for it

Answer 2

An age gap makes more difference the younger you are. When you have a difficult time in your younger years, you can develop a feeling that you are more mature because you survived. But you haven't necessarily gained the ability to deal successfully with a lifelong relationship with another person. Could it be that the person you want to marry gives you a sense of security that you are missing? What about both of you getting some pre-marital counseling first? If money is an issue, you may be able to find free or low cost counseling from a church or government supported social worker. It couldn't hurt and you might gain some valuable insight into why you are attracted to someone so much older (as well as why he is attracted to someone so much younger). That way you can at least tell your parents that you've had professional help in making your decision. I think they would be much more agreeable to your plans if you did that.

Answer 3

You dont have to justify anything to anybody. You are of age. Normally 20 yr. olds are still growing and maturing, and that big of an age gap would present different problems for you both even if you didnt want them too. What 20 yr. olds want and what a 42 yr. old wants is usually totally different. The only thing they do agree on is sex. And there is alot more to life and a relationship then just sex. So think long and hard before you jump into something like this, There is a chance it could work for you. But there are many reasons why it wouldnt. Give it alot of time to see before you make a final decision.

Answer 4

I guess once you're 21 you can marry anyone you want. (As long as you are both free to legally marry)

My guess that you aren't thinking about when you are 30 and he's 52. He probably has been married before and has children near your age. Do you think he reallly wants to start over and have another family? He's been there and done that.

Lots to think about. Not just how you feel today, but what the future might hold for you and him.
The 2 of you are from different generations. Chances are you don't listen to the same kind of music, dance the same dances, watch the same movies or play the same games/sports. My question is what do you do when you want to go out and boogie and he's 'too tired' after a long day at the job and wants to just veg?

With nothing in common, what do you do together besides have sex?

Answer 5

It really doesnt matter just how mature you think you are for your age. The number of events doesnt determine how mature one is but how those events were handled show more. but the fact remains youre still 20 and hes 42. Now ture lve doesnt matter when it comes to the age factor but in reality in todays society he will be made out to be a "sugar daddy" with a younger girl. Sooner or later the difference will come into play around his or your friends. There will be nothing in common between you all other than a father -daughter type fad. What you may feelfor him just might be infatuation which is extremely common in a younger girl-older guy relationship. This guy will have more in common with your parents than you which is not good and the day will come youll look for a younger guy more your age and drop the dad figure,in which he is no replacement for your dad. Most of this coms from dealing with many couples over alot of years with the same problem, and majority end upin divorce court due to the age difference, so my answer is more from experience than education. But if youre truly really in love with each other then what anyone else thinks really doesnt matter. Good luck

Answer 6

This is why people should never claim they are mature for their age , because in reading this it shows that your not really that mature at all that you are in fact on the same wave length as any normal post teen ,Quote: What I am going to tell my parents?.How can I justify my love for him to my parents?

If your not mature enough to sit down and explain to your parents why you love this man and you feel you have to "JUSTIFY" your love and your relationship , then your not ready for a relationship with this man .An adult doesnt justify their emotions towards another adult , and they dont feel the need to explain themselves because they know the relationship wont be accepted and are to scared to upset their families.

Love is about maturity and the capability to be able to stand holding one's head high and proud for the partner they have chosen , true love isnt questioned on age , status , race .The fact your even asking shows you have question's of your own you havent even looked at seriously yet.

Flirt with him , have fun , but dont marry him your not emotionally ready to marry him.

Answer 7

This is a tough question. You sound very mature, but 22 years IS a large age difference. It does matter what your parents think, of course, because you love them and want them to be happy for you, but this is your decision. Do you have a pastor or trusted counselor that you could talk to about this?

I know there are many things that we don't know about the situation, so please don't really use any of our answers to justify a decision. Talk to someone, a professional, someone who knows the entire situation and about both of you before you decide. Best of luck!!

Answer 8

sweetie here is where maturity steps in and you are clearly not ready. first sweetie love dont have an age just as long as the other person is of legal age. what people are saying to you are very much legit. he is old enough to be your dad, etc. you have to ask yourself what is it that you two have in common. the advantages and disadvantages of the relationship. could you see yourself living without him. in ten yrs when you are 30 and he 52 with health problems will you continue to love him and be there for him or will you find someone your age at that point and roll out. sweetie you need to live for you and not mom and dad or friends. see if people have you questioning your stance on the relationship now and you cant answer them or defend you love than you are not as ready as you think. GodBless

Answer 9

I married a man only 8 years older than i am and now as we approach middle age the age difference is really showing. I feel at times like I'm with an old man. A checker at the store mistaken him for my dad. Just think how you will feel 20 years from now when he's 62 and your only 40.

Answer 10

It made me very excited and happy to see this question and I so much want to answer it. My wife is about 22 years younger than me.We also came from two totally different cultures. She is ASIAN from the Philippines.I am a white American.She can speak 5 different languages but I have only English.Our love is the most REAL and most HONEST thing that I have ever experienced.She really does love me.I think that the maturity that I have reached in my years of life are a part of the cause for her affections.She knows that I have NOTHING left that I need to PROVE to the world. I know WHO I am.I like myself and I am reasonably happy with who I have become.All of the mistakes that I have already MADE in my years past will most likely not be repeated. Long life is a great teacher.This gives her a strong firm and dependable BASE for her to build her life on.I can not speak for YOUR man,,,but as for MYSELF,,,I can tell you that she IS a little bit like a daughter to me.I AM a little bit like a father to her.We have far more "in common" than you would THINK that we could. She did not WANT a husband of her OWN age because of the way that women are taught to think in the Philippines.They are taught that OLDER men are much more DEPENDABLE and that MOST older men have ALREADY FINISHED chasing the women. When I was younger I wanted to have sex with EVERY PRETTY WOMAN that I could see!!!!!!!! Now I have learned a much BETTER way to find happiness. Meaningless sex is only for KIDS! Please tell me if you can,,,,what is the REASON for a woman to marry a man her own age? The OLDER man will not be drawn away from his YOUNGER wife as easily as the YOUNGER man will be drawn away to ANOTHER YOUNG WOMAN. Older men have learned how to APPRECIATE a woman.I have ALREADY proved to both myself and to the world that I can seduce and conquer beautiful women.....no NEED for more of that stupid life style.Since we are NOT related,,,what does it matter that there are feelings similar to parent and child? LOVE IS THE BEST THING in all the world.There are THREE important things in this world....... LOVING.....BEING LOVED.......MAKING LOVE. AND I NEVER NEED VIAGRA,,,,,,SHE IS THE STIMULANT FOR ME!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

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